It is Visible if You are Looking for It!!

A lot has happened since I last posted. I visited my doctor and she was very pleased with the progress I have made. I've been watching episodes of the TV series called "Heavy" on Netflix and getting ideas. I can feel my body getting stronger and I want to begin to push it a little more, but I also want to follow my physical therapist's parameters. And I've had my eyes opened with a new chart that I made.

Since I don't have cable-TV anymore I am not "up" on what is current in that scene, but I found the TV series called "Heavy" about obese people who go to a facility for thirty days to be rebooted. I have watched all of the Texas episodes and then the episode where they revisited the Texas people about six months later to see how they are doing. It seems to me that the camera eye view is almost totally focused on the exercise, with only a small percentage of attention on the food -- yet the affects of eating wrong show up instantly in weight gain for the participants. This view point is totally the opposite of my own focus.... so far. (It is easier to film actions like exercise, than it is to document people eating salad. LOL)

They seem to be on about a 1200 calorie a day diet of protein (fish) and vegetables (salad plus a few green beans) from what I can see. They do not go into the details of the food. But they sure go into the details of the exercise experience. At first as I watched I wondered about the people. I wondered why so many were crying and complaining. I wondered why this was so hard for them. Then it began to dawn on me that they are going through huge withdrawals and are initially under a lot of stress.

They are having carbohydrate withdrawals, family and friend withdrawals, and are also being forced to use their unfit pain wracked bodies in ways they never would have (or could have) done on their own. They are in a completely unfamiliar environment and suddenly every bit of bad behavior that they have depended on in the past to get them out of "bad situations" comes out to play. After the first week, though, things usually begin to settle down some, and their eyes begin to open up to the new possibilities for their lives. I think it is awesome and extremely tough to do. My hat is off to these many successful participants who put their lives on the air for us to observe... and to learn from. From what I have seen, nearly all of them are successful -- not absolutely all.

One thing I noticed is that even with their success they often still look like obese people when they are done -- but they have changed. If you were to meet them on the street and know nothing about them, you might only see that they are obese, but a few of them lost nearly a hundred pounds -- that gives you an idea of where they started. One man who weighed over four hundred pounds when he started had ankles that were nearly purple with lack of circulation. One of his legs had a "weeping" wound which is a spot where the skin has simply opened up and liquid seeps out, so he was not allowed to go in the pool until he got his doctor's OK.

Later on, it shows where he has lost at least a hundred pounds (I don't recall the exact specifics) and looks a lot smaller and younger and happier.... but his legs still look purple. Another man had a "lymphodema" surgically removed and he is able to walk a lot better. I guess the reason that these physical conditions have stuck in my mind is because in my journey I wanted to reverse my pre-diabetic state which, technically, happened, but I am not without the disease, yet, and if I falter it will come back like a raging lion. I think the participants were brave and the trainers are awesome.

I've been thinking about what my "weight loss goal" should be. The thought of choosing a number makes me a little crazy and does not work for me as a "goal." I cannot simply use "lose weight" as a goal either. I have tripped myself up in the past with that one. Once I lost a few pounds the goal would be met and I would wander off in another direction. I am comfortable with "continuing to lose weight." I feel able to continue (with the Lord's help) on the path and not wander off. One of the ladies in the TV series said something about "perseverance and grace." and that has really struck me as being motivational for me. I'd like to have those two in front of my face for a while to remind me, and help me stay on track. With my perseverance and God's grace I shall continue to lose weight.

I also want to speed it up a little so I'm beginning to focus on the exercise. I've made up an activities chart for me to keep track of my daily activities. My physical therapist has told me that I can do "three minutes" of one exercise and then in a little while do "five minutes" of another one and continue doing this throughout the day. That way I don't have one gargantuan block of exercise to do all at once -- which can be completely overwhelming to me. I'm more likely to simply sidestep the issue if it looks too hard (overwhelming) for me, but I can do a few minutes here and there, repeatedly throughout the day. Which is the reason for the chart.

Today was day one, and at the end of the day, I had not done any exercise. I would not have noticed that except that the chart has made me aware of the truth. So on day one, I noticed what I was not doing. For tomorrow I want to have some check marks under a few activities that I have done so I shall start earlier in the day to do a few of the "little minutes of activity." They are important and I need to incorporate them into my daily life. I shall begin the exercise again, in the morning.

I shared what I have been doing with a friend and she wants copies of my charts. I am pleased that she likes them and wants them... but I've got enough experience to know that she may or may not actually use them. I've tried to help people in the past with things they said they wanted, but many (I believe, most) people are not willing to actually adapt it to their own lives. I did the same things for years. I've bought many pieces of "weight loss" equipment, but they don't do a thing for the body that does not get on them. In my defense I must say that the equipment is not actually made for people who are completely unfit and outrageously obese -- or, at least, that is what I thought. My physical therapist has taught me to pay attention to the fingers poking into my body (points of pain) and to make adjustments for them. Change something to stop the irritation but keep going. She says that to make improvements I need to get tired, but irritation only makes things worse.

One of the things the successful participants of "Heavy" have mentioned a few times is how much more agile they are now. I'd love to have some of my former agility back. I can see it happening with the PT that I have been doing. If I persevere and depend on God's grace, my agility, balance, and strength will improve. I won't be twenty-two again, but I can improve. I'd like to improve and see where I might go with it. With my perseverance and God's grace I shall continue to lose weight and increase agility and strength.

I'll be checking up on me with my chart, so I'd better be alert and get active! Don't laugh... I think it might work!!

Be back soon,
Marcia