Hungry for Change

I went to see the doctor today. I got a good report, so far. You know, the results are not in from the blood and urine tests, but I'm not expecting anything out of the ordinary. I warned her (my doctor) that my results may not be as stellar as I would like them to be because I gave up for a while.

I got inspired to get back on track last night, though, and I am happy for that. I'd been worrying about what I was doing, but could not seem to reel me in to the right path. That is what it is like for an addict, you know. You go off down the wrong road, but you don't really understand why you have to. You know you are compelled, but can't see why and don't have the strength to do what is right. You know you are not strong enough to not do it. If you come up with a reason, it does not help, anyway, because it is simply about the problem.... it is not the problem.

I had become tired of keeping track and not getting to the goal. The vision had faded away and I was haphazard with my record keeping. I think I lost faith in the path that I believed was the right one for me.  I believed that eating fresh raw vegetables and good quality protein was the road to success. It was part of the road to success, but it was not the whole road. The thing that I had been doing that had allowed me to actually lose weight was the twice weekly fast, but I was no longer doing that either. The thing that had helped me to feel physically vigorous was the thrice weekly water aerobics. So, proper diet, proper resting from eating, and proper exercise when coupled together were working for me.

But I found myself not adhering to my own cause. I had injured my knee and the recuperation took months. I still have phantom pains from time to time, but I can at least do my water aerobics, now... if I am careful... at least twice a week. But during that time that I could not do it at all, things just began to slip away from me. I could not stand and prepare my salads, and I had lost interest in them even before that happened so I was eating cooked veggies, instead. I was having episodes of binging on pizza, or ice cream and candy. I had begun to do that a couple of times a week rather than a couple of times a month. I was way off in the boonies... worried, but stuck. Unable to take positive action. I had even stopped writing my daily goals. I was dreading the doctor's appointment, too, because that is where the rubber meets the road and I did not want to look like a failure to her.

I prayed but I kind of wandered off from that, too. So glad that God does not forsake us, even when we seem to wander off. He is steadfast and faithful. He is always there, holding up the universe. And me.

I wanted to get back on track, but the thought was more than I could bear. Then I watched this movie on Netflix called: "Hungry for Change" and I got inspired again. When it was done I thought about my situation and suddenly a new idea occurred to me. For more than two years I had avoided fruit... and binged on pizza, ice cream, and candy. Why not swap the two? How about going back on the fresh raw veggies, the unprocessed meats, and add fruit to the mix? That way... when I wanted to binge I could do it on fruit, which had to be better for me than the other stuff I was binging on.

I checked the glycemic index and got a simple list of fruit. I redesigned my shopping list and darkened out the fruit on the list that were over 50 and allowed that I could eat the ones that were under 50. The smaller the number the better the binge. I went shopping and bought all the right stuff for this new change. Lettuce and colored peppers and tomatoes and avocados to begin with. I got eggs, tuna, hamburger, and chicken. I also got walnuts and raw almonds, plus a couple of apples and oranges.

A new program has been born and I am again excited to be doing it. I talked about it with my doctor and got the OK so I am going ahead again.

Amazingly I had only put on one pound at the DO. I know that I had put on at least seven pounds and had already taken it off again by paying attention to not eating carbs. God is so good!! And I am feeling it!!

I am back on track and moving ahead.

Hope you are doing well.

Be back soon,

Marcia

Life is Like a Coin

Elizabeth Cady Stanton, "Solitude of Self," Address before the U. S. Senate Committee on Woman Suffrage, February 20, 1892

 

The point I wish plainly to bring before you on this occasion is the individuality of each human soul-our Protestant idea. The right of individual conscience and judgement - our republican idea, individual citizenship. In discussing the rights of woman, we are to consider, first, what belongs to her as an individual, in a world of her own, the arbiter of her own destiny, an imaginary Robinson Crusoe with her woman Friday on a solitary island. Her rights under such circumstances are to use all her faculties for her own safety and happiness.

Secondly, if we consider her as a citizen, as a member of a great nation, she must have the same rights as all other members, according to the fundamental principles of our Government.

Thirdly, viewed as a woman, an equal factor in civilization, her rights and duties are still the same -- individual happiness and development.

Fourthly, it is only the incidental relations of life, such as mother, wife, sister, daughter, which may involve some special duties and training. In the usual discussion in regard to woman's sphere, such men as Herbert Spencer, Frederick Harrison and Grant Allen uniformly subordinate her rights and duties as an individual, as a citizen, as a woman, to the necessities of these incidental relations, some of which a large class of women never assume.

In discussing the sphere of man we do not decide his rights as an individual, as a citizen, as a man, by his duties as a father, a husband, a brother, or a son, some of which he may never undertake. Moreover he would be better fitted for these very relations, and whatever special work he might choose to do to earn his bread, by the complete development of all his faculties as an individual. Just so with woman. The education which will fit her to discharge the duties in the largest sphere of human usefulness, will best fit her for whatever special work she may be compelled to do.

The isolation of every human soul and the necessity of self-dependence must give each individual the right to choose his own surroundings. The strongest reason for giving woman all the opportunities for higher education, for the full development of her faculties, her forces of mind and body; for giving her the most enlarged freedom of thought and action; a complete emancipation from all forms of bondage, of custom, dependence, superstition; from all the crippling influences of fear -- is the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life.

The strongest reason why we ask for woman a voice in the government under which she lives; in the religion she is asked to believe; equality in social life, where she is the chief factor; a place in the trades and professions, where she may earn her bread, is because of her birthright to self -sovereignty; because, as an individual, she must rely on herself.

To throw obstacles in the way of a complete education is like putting out the eyes ; to deny the rights of property is like cutting off the hands. To refuse political equality is to rob the ostracized of all self-respect, of credit in the market place, of recompense in the world of work, of a voice in choosing those who make and administer the law, a choice in the jury before whom they are tried, and in the judge who decides their punishment.

Shakespeare's play of Titus and Andronicus contains a terrible satire on woman's position in the nineteenth century - "Rude men seized the king's daughter, cut out her tongue, cut off her hands, and then bade her go call for water and wash her hands." What a picture of woman's position! Robbed of her natural rights, handicapped by law and custom at every turn, yet compelled to fight her own battles, and in the emergencies of life to fall back on herself for protection . . . . .

How the little courtesies of life on the surface of society, deemed so important from man towards woman, fade into utter insignificance in view of the deeper tragedies in which she must play her part alone, where no human aid is possible!

Nothing strengthens the judgment and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility. Nothing adds such dignity to character as the recognition of one's self -sovereignty; the right to an equal place, everywhere conceded -- a place earned by personal merit, not an artificial attainment by inheritance, wealth, family, and position.

Conceding then that the responsibilities of life rest equally on man and woman, that their destiny is the same, they need the same preparation for time and eternity.

The talk of sheltering woman from the fierce storms of life is the sheerest mockery, for they beat on her from every point of the compass, just as they do on man, and with more fatal results, for he has been trained to protect himself, to resist, to conquer . . . . .

In music women speak again the language of Mendelssohn, Beethoven, Chopin, Schumann, and are worthy interpreters of their great thoughts. The poetry and novels of the century are theirs, and they have touched the keynote of reform in religion, politics and social life. They fill the editor's and professor's chair, plead at the bar of justice, walk the wards of the hospital, speak from the pulpit and the platform. Such is the type of womanhood that an enlightened public sentiment welcomes to-day, and such the triumph of the facts of life over the false theories of the past.

Is it, then, consistent to hold the developed woman of this day within the same narrow political limits as the dame with the spinning wheel and knitting needle occupied in the past? No, no! Machinery has taken the labors of woman as well as man on its tireless shoulders; the loom and the spinning wheel are but dreams of the past; the pen, the brush, the easel, the chisel, have taken their places, while the hopes and ambitions of women are essentially changed.

We see reason sufficient in the outer conditions of human beings for individual liberty and development, but when we consider the self-dependence of every human soul, we see the need of courage, judgment and the exercise of every faculty of mind and body, strengthened and developed by use, in woman as well as man...

**************

I was completely moved when I read this. I had never heard of it before watching a documentary tonight on Netflix called simply: "Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony" made in 1999.

Admittedly it was rather long, but it showed me a side of my own mother's life and times that I had not much considered. My mother was born in 1910 which was ten years before women were allowed to vote for the very first time in the USA -- the home of the brave and the land of the free.

She was born before women were thought of as "citizens" in the full sense of the word, meaning, in my mind, free to choose her life style, to own property, to develop her beliefs, and take on the roles she will play in this, her individual life. Just as any man does. His life is his life and he lives it from beginning to end in his own body with his own soul. A woman does the same. We end up at the same place, just as we all began at the same place.

There are many things that influence or change or affect any person's life. Some are rich, some are not. Some are beautiful in appearance, some are not. Some have the support of a family to grow in... others do not. Any and all of these things shape us, and our decisions and our outlook. If we are not careful to seek out truth on our own, we might never find the source of life. Some people are fortunate enough to be guided into this and, of course, others are not. It is not really the past that forms a life, it is the present.

I do not have a good segue to get to the thing that I really want to say in relation to all of this except that when we stand before the judgment seat of Christ we will be there on our own. Male, female, black, white, young, old, talented, simple, strong, feeble... we will, each one of us, be there, just as we are here, just as we were born, and lived, and just as we died: individuals. The only thing of importance will be: "Whom did you love?"

You know how you can watch a movie or be talking to someone and suddenly something just really fills you with a new thought? This was like that for me. To see and get an inkling of what it was like before. Let me not take it for granted. If you are thinking that I am a "feminist" you would be making a wrong assumption. I don't want power over men... or anyone. I just want to be free. Just like you.

"Life is like a coin. You can spend it on anything you want, but you can only spend it once." I am grateful that those men voted to give women (me) the vote and the opportunity to own property. They untied my hands and set me free -- as free as anyone gets, I think. I'm grateful that God touched their hearts and they saw that all of us are in this together. That is sometimes a lesson which is a long time in coming.