Gullible's Travels

Hi,

Been working at eating right. Been dealing with a notice from my mobile home park management that I have to paint my house. Been worrying about getting my taxes done.

On the painting front I shared a prayer request at my church on Sunday morning. I was quite upset, not knowing how I was going to get that done. I don't have the money (last estimate a few years ago was $1500) and my unemployment runs out in the middle of May (deadline was May 2). Those people are so amazing! When I came back that night they already had a plan to help me get it done. A couple of the men are going to come out and take a look at the house to estimate what needs to be done. One of them knows where to get the paint at a discount. And they are going to schedule a youth group project to come out and paint it one Saturday in the not too distant future (after they have pressure washed it) and I am so grateful! They have really alleviated a major amount of stress for me. I don't think there are even words to thank them enough. What a great church!

On the tax front. I got the name of a guy who has done the taxes of a friend for a few years who lives in the city next to mine and I finally called him up and we will set up a meeting in a couple of weeks time to get those done. I shared a little on the phone with him and he said he has flat fees $85 for personal taxes and $50 more for business taxes, too. That is so much better than the $400 from the people I used last year. When I had gotten my business set up done they talked me into doing a Nevada corporation, too, but I don't use it for anything, and I'm thinking of cancelling that, too. Just need to do it.

On the eating front. I have been being pretty good with eating my salads and getting back in line again. I had put on some weight and have taken all but two pounds off again. Last night I went with a friend to Wendy's where we got their "Pick 2" which is  half of a salad and one other item. She got the spicy chicken salad and chili and I got the Cobb salad and chili. She is a very slow eater and I had mine eaten before she was half way done. I still felt hungry so got another chili which was only two bucks. I started off not eating the crackers (which I rarely ever do) but ended up eating them as I told myself I wanted to feed my endorphines -- you know "comfort food" -- I needed some comfort. But today I feel kind of "hung over" (for a lack of a better description).  Did my salad for today and have eaten better again today.

I visited the management office and asked them if it is OK to paint my home a pale chiffon yellow and they said that would be fine. I am really glad. I really like a yellow house and have been thinking about that for a long time. I am also thinking of white trim or maybe sage green. I am really leaning towards the white, which will keep the look of the current colors (tan and pale tan) but really freshen it up.

Now my plans for today are to finish the dishes and wash the kitchen floor. I'm thinking that will be my exercise for the day because it involves using my Hoover floor scrubber and a lot of walking, plus back and forth body movement. I am usually very exhausted by the time I finish doing that. I am also waiting for a friend who likes to order stuff online as a "group" to get better shipping fees who is going to deliver my portion of the order to my house. It is all herbs and supplements and -- as a gift -- she has purchased them for me, this time. We often take drives together and that is her contribution to the gas fund for the car. Very nice! I appreciate it!

As far as the title for today's blog... Gullible's Travels... it just felt like me today. There is no deep meaning. I consider myself to be "gullible" when it comes to some of my food choices. Need to get back to my "Fat Brain Lies" workbook. I've been stumped at the next lesson but don't want that to go on forever. I just want to get it over with and move on. I have to make a list of all the "bad" foods I've eaten recently. Just not looking forward to it. Hope I'm happier when I get it finished.

Hope all is well with you and yours. Hope you are sticking to your plan. Hope you are successful!

Be back soon

-- Marcia

Looking at My Fat Brain Lies

Hi,

The Lord reminded me that I had not gone on with the "Fat Brain Lies" workbook that I purchased at http://www.rawfoodbootcamp.com/ a few months back. I got stopped at the pictures. The author, Carlene Jones, specifically stated that I needed to have those pictures before moving on to the rest of the work book. It took me a long time to get them, but I have them now -- thanks to my young cousins Jessica and Corey Howell who took the pictures and e-mailed them to me.

I had wanted to look at where my actual faith concerning eating and obesity and diabetes are located and this work book seems like the logical place for me to get support in doing that. I don't want to just ramble around in my head with no real direction. I believe this work book will give me the direction I seem to need. It is geared for the super obese (like me) and Carlene has been helping folks like me to thin down and she seems to have a good success record which you can see at her web site (http://www.rawfoodbootcamp.com/).

I noticed she has some other work books too but I don't seem to be able to buy them at this point in time. I know I cannot afford her boot camp experience but I do need the support of someone who has been there and done that and has the thin body and the fat before pictures to prove it.

I feel like I'm on my way again. In the workbook, she has you look at your BMI and get specific about where you really are. I know that in my head I don't look bad but my before pictures tell a different story. If I knew how to post the pictures here, I would so you could see them, too. I will be placing them around the house to remind me and keep me in touch with reality. Right now I have them sitting next to my computer as I am writing and I can clearly see the need.

I like how she has approached the subject in her workbook. She seems to be compassionate but does not put up with excuses. She even gives you the opportunity to check out your own willingness to make the needed changes and if you are not ready she does not want you. Clearly if you are not willing to make the necessary changes you are not going to have results. She wants you to be successful, so if you are not ready, come back later when you are. This is my come back later and I am ready.

She points out that when we are as big a I am (and there are many of us) we sacrifice certain things in our lives in order to remain obese. She shares quite a few examples and gives you room to write down your own. I had previously written a list and last night as I was beginning again, I wrote in a couple more.

My sacrifices to obesity range from not taking plane rides to always having to drive my own car because I know I fit in it and it is comfortable. It includes not wanting to go to crowded places because I take up more room than most folks and I hate those disgusted looks that people give you when you bump into them. There is no way to glide between them gracefully for the obese. It includes being selective about the jobs that I apply for, because I don't have professional looking clothing and weighing over 300 pounds does not promote a professional aire, if you know what I mean. I don't go to movies because the seats are so tight and painful to sit in.

Then, after looking at your own sacrifices -- the things that you have to deal with and give up in order to remain obese she asks this question: "How long would you be willing to live without your favorite fattening food to never deal with this issue again?" I had a hard time getting my mind around that question and had to restate it for myself like this: "If I never had to deal with these issues again by giving up my favorite fattening foods, would I do it?" If that meant never eating those foods again; if that meant always choosing fresh raw living foods that make me feel good, am I willing to actually do it?

The answer to that produces a feeling of freedom. Wow. What if I never had to be self conscious about being fat again? What if I could go to the movies and not give it a second thought in preparation and simply enjoy the movie pain free? What if I could actually be thin -- I tell you I have a hard time even making that statement -- I don't think that I have ever believed that I could be thin or normal sized. But that, being a belief, can be changed with new evidence and new facts. What if giving up the foods that cause these things, which have been some of my favorites, would actually accomplish the feat of slimming down? What about the craving mechanism.... can it be overcome? There must be a way.

She also has you look at exercise. Would you be willing to exercise for one hour a day if it were to cut your personal health risks in half? She gives a list of the things that some of her boot camp participants have overcome by eating raw food and increasing their daily exercise: HBP, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, Incontinence, Sleep Apnea, Rosacea, Poor Eyesight, Skin Eruptions and High Cholesterol.

Then you get to answer some pointed questions: How do you feel about your current weight and BMI? Describe the person you feel you are, not taking into account your outward appearance. When you look at your photos, what about them suits the person you think you are?

I tell you, answering those questions does not take much time. They are right there on the tip of your pen and looking at them gives you a perspective about yourself that you may not have noticed for a long time.

Don't worry she does not start you off with one hour of exercise a day -- she lets you have a small place to begin at 15 minutes per day. For me that means extending what I do for only 3 more minutes but also doing it every day instead of three times a week. I would like to do that so am starting today. I know me, so am going to give me a starting time (for now): I have to have this accomplished by 5 p.m. each day. I can do it earlier but if I have not done it by then, I have to do it then. I think that will work for me.

She concludes with this amazing statement: "Arm yourself with every available tool you have so when the fat brain tries to tell you, today does not matter, you can make up for it tomorrow, you can see it for the lie it is and boldly state: BEING OBESE IS NOT OKAY!

Today is the day of Salvation!

Today is ALWAYS the day of Salvation -- tomorrow and yesterday are simply imagination -- the only time we have to do something is NOW. I am now making my commitment to 15 minutes of exercise and eating healthy raw food at every meal and snack and pray that the Lord gives me the courage and the know how to accomplish this task. Thank you Lord!

Come with me if you can. Get the workbook and lets do it together. http://www.rawfoodbootcamp.com/

Be back soon

--Marcia

The Detox Effect?

Hi,

In the "Raw for 30" video that I watched there was a man who was talking about when you change to a raw food diet you go through a "detox" stage in the very beginning. He spoke about how really difficult this stage is. This documentary film records the struggles of the people who are making the transformation. These folks started off with a chef making their meals but were taught to make them themselves as time went on. One of the main things you will see in the film is the gargantuan struggles that some of them went through. Only one of the six quit. It was just too much for him. His body was in pain and he felt awful and decided that the food was the problem so he left. Two of the others also had large struggles but they got through theirs with their decisions not to quit. They soon were experiencing success.There were also three who did not seem to have the same struggles that the rest had. They simply came, followed the program and went back home different people.
 
This got me to thinking. Maybe by my not being willing to go completely raw that is the thing that hinders me. I already know that I cannot eat "just a little" starchy carb. There is really no such thing as being able to "cut down" with me. I have been tinkering, tampering and experiementing with the raw food diet since September. Oddly enough I thought it was since June that I did this but that was when I tried out the "30 Day Diabetes Cure" which did help but not enough in my mind. I did not lose much weight and I was not able to follow the program as written because the fruit and the bread did a number on my body, my cravings, and my blood sugar numbers which slowed down my progress.

I recovered, found and started the raw food segment in September. This makes me feel a little better because I was thinking that I had been trying to make the proper life style changes since last June which would be about eight months. But since I started the raw food program in September that means I have been going up and down on that program for six months.

My most recent setback was the Xylitol incident when my A1C went back up to 6 and my uric acid went up to 9.4. I have now stopped all intake of Xylitol or any kind of sweetener for that matter. I don't even use Stevia. A person can live without sweets.

The place where I seem to have the most trouble is after eating "clean" (only fresh raw veggies, nuts, seeds with some hard boiled eggs and feta cheese, plus tuna from time to time) for a short time I begin to crave stuff like chili cheese fries and hot dogs. Which, by the way, I was not eating before I started the program!

Anyway, my original thought was about the "detox" effects. Maybe that is what I am struggling with and since I have not gone completely raw that stage just keeps hanging around and getting in the way. I don't know. I might be grabbing at straws. The only way I could find out for sure would be to go 100% raw for a while and see what happens. I am not completely sure I am up to that, but more raw is better.

Dr Cousins said that after the detox you "hit the steadiness." I wonder if I tried the whole raw program if I would still go through detox and then finally "hit the steadiness."

In another segment the lady who decided to stay was talking to her husband on the phone and sharing about how a lump that she had had for 15 years has disappeared. I then remembered that I have had that happen too. Sometimes I feel the space below the back of my neck just to make sure the lumps are still really gone. I am having a similar reaction to hers. This lady has a build similar to my own, although I believe she is somewhat smaller than I am.

Perhaps I need to remember the progress that I have made, too. And to remember that after eating, a normal blood sugar is 140 so I should not be alarmed when that happens.

A verse has come into my mind:

James 2:18  Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

I want to take a look at how my actions have revealed where my faith is (in relation to diabetes) and then to pray and ask the Lord to help me have a new vision and purpose in this area.

Be back soon

--Marcia

Thinking.

Hi,

I got my food dehydrator a few days ago and finally opened the box today and read the little book that comes with it. It has six trays and is the L'Equip brand which is less expensive than some of the other more popular brands. It has a temperature gauge and an on off switch but no timer -- no big deal -- I can read the clock. I chose this one because of the good reviews.

I bought it at Amazon.com ( http://www.amazon.com/LEquip-306200-550-Watt-6-Tray-Dehydrator/dp/B00004Z4GQ/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1295725861&sr=8-10 )  if you are interested.

I am still a little unsure about trying it out but have been looking for recipes for flax crackers since that is what I am  most interested in making at this point in time. I have only been able to find them ready made (raw) in one health food store in my area and they were down right expensive at $4.44 for about half an ounce of weight. I am sure I can make them for a lot less than that. I don't know how long it will take for the dehydrator to pay for itself but... I just can't see paying exorbitant prices for ever. And I suppose I will learn to make other things with the dehydrator, too.

As I searched I remembered seeing some raw flax seed cracker recipes on YouTube so I went there to see if I could find them again. I found a video by "thatoneguyonline" which I watched with interest as he made his first batch of flax crackers in his dehydrator. His name is Matt and he appeared to be a healthy young man weighing about 180 who was interested in eating raw foods. The video was from 2009. Since that one was so good I looked for other videos that he has made and could only find a few where he looked like he had put on quite a bit of weight. He stated that he now weighed 230 pounds and was no longer "raw" ... He repeatedly said that he "just could not do it" in his diet vlog.

Believe me, I understand. I too really struggle with this as I have been all along, but I don't want to give up. I have chosen, instead, to get out my "Raw for 30" video and watch it again. I have it on pause as I write here.

What has popped into my mind is to remember that in one of my last entries I stated I was going to look at my purpose in changing my diet. I have not written it down but it has been on my mind and I have, a couple of times, been able to divert me from eating wrong food by looking at the consequences and thinking about my purpose. I find I cannot use weight loss as a purpose as it simply does not motivate me. What does seem to motivate me is my health. Thinking about my uric acid levels, my blood sugar levels, and my blood pressure really does make a difference. And even when I am being lead by my cravings I do actually try to figure out the least horrendous way to do it.

Since I continually have to start again I guess I will just continue starting over. It seems to be the only logical thing I can do. I really do not want to quit. Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning my wheels but that is better than putting weight on or making things worse.

You know... I wonder if I should continue with this blog... I am not successful and I'm sure that people want to read about success stories so they can be encouraged rather than reading about my never ending "do overs."  I really only have one follower and a few people that I e-mail the posts to, so I don't get much feed back. Although my friend Brenda seems to have been the most supportive with e-mails and comments.

I will pray about it. I'm going to watch the video now.

Be back soon

--Marcia

Help to Stop E-mail Scams and Fraud

Hi,

I just discovered that you can forward commercial e-mail scams to spam@uce.gov and the e-mail scams you receive and forward to them will become part of a data base that is available for law enforcement officials to peruse and investigate. This is a service of the Federal Trade Commission and the data base is meant to help shut down the operations of scammers. I intend to start using it.

Please note: this is not simply for hoaxes or misinformation or even spam -- which is often a legitimate business searching for customers. This address is meant for e-mail scams where someone is trying to fraudulently get money from you, gain access to your checking account, or find out your Social Security number or other private information that would be dangerous to you if it wound up in their hands. It is for e-mail scams.

I have gotten repeated e-mail scams letters at my online customer service address related to my www.bestluggagecarts.com website. I was almost taken in by the first one, but my supplier pointed out to me what was going on. I was so glad they were alert to this and told me about it. I then looked it up on the internet and found out more information about it.

What the scammers do is send an e-mail asking about a certain item (often it is something you sell -- sometimes it seems totally unrelated or even only vaguely related). They say they want to find out "more information about the item", "are they in stock," etc. and they drop the hint that as soon as you contact them they will give you a credit card number and then they will order a large quantity of the items they want. Not.

The reason they have not ordered anything from your website is that they don't have a valid credit card number so they are trying to get in the side door with the temptation of a large order. Don't fall for it. When I got the first one I actually responded to them. The second e-mail I got sounded like it came from a very busy (rich) person who was out of the country (in London) on business and they needed my personal help to get the items they wanted ordered and shipped to Haiti. They even gave me pick up orders because they wanted to use their own shipper. I wish I remembered the name of the shipper in that first letter because it was by googling the shipper name that I found the information about it being a scam.

The scammers will respond to any e-mail you send them and you will be drawn more deeply into their net. Here is an example of the most recent one I received:

Hello Good Day
With regards to your Company i am sending this email regards to order some ( Platform Truck ) ,i will like to know the type and sizes you have in stock and get me the sales price of one so that i will tell you the quantity i will be ordering, and also if you accept credit card as a form of payment .
Stay Bless .
John Truett (Owner)

Notice the name of the signer -- doesn't that sound like a typical American name? In this one the English is much smoother (they are getting better) but the gist of the e-mail is exactly the same. They promise to order (something) and want to know if you accept credit cards. If they had actually been to your website and were really interested in an order they would simply have placed it at the website. There would be no need for them to e-mail asking these kinds of questions or making these kinds of statements.

In this particular one they even have played on my religion with the line above the signature. They are trying everything they can think of to get me to trust them but, once bitten, twice shy.

After that first one, I began to recognize them. They always have what looks like a legitimate person's name as the sender -- something normal and American sounding like Bob Jones -- but it won't be a name from your address book. The language (at this point in time) is still a rather stilted and broken English. That is because it is not coming from native English speakers (nothing wrong with that -- but it is a clue). You get the gist. It will be rather bad grammar and sentence structure -- sometimes it may not even make total English sense. When you read it, it will sound "garbled" in your mind. These don't usually have any attachments but if you get one with an attachment -- do not open it because it will likely contain a virus.

I am glad to have a way to support law enforcement officials in shutting down this type of fraud. I will still delete them but not before sending them to the FTC. I found this e-mail address: spam@uce.gov at the FTC website: www.ftc.gov under the "contact" tab in case you want to check it out yourself. I like to check things out myself just to verify things in my own mind.

Be back soon -- Have a good one!

--Marcia

It is Not so Much What is Happening. It is How You Respond to It.

Hi,

I have been reading a very interesting book called "12 Steps to Raw Foods, How to End Your Dependency on Cooked Food" written by Victoria Boutenko who, I am finding, is a rather amazing person with straight forward and pointed insight into the issues surrounding "going raw" from the reasons to go raw, to how to deal with temptation. She is a person full of curiosity who sought to solve a problem in her own life: the illness that was affecting herself, her husband, her son, and her daughter. She simply started looking for the solution to her immediate problem and did not give up until she found the raw food solution which changed all of their lives. Seek and ye shall find is the foundation that she operates from and she leaves no stone unturned.

I started reading this book because I found it at the library, along with a couple of others, and I was enticed by her writing, her ideas, and her story from page one. It is excellent reading. My own belief is that raw food is the most nutritious, and most healthy food we can choose to eat, but I have had such a time struggling to do it, falling off the wagon, and having to get back up again that I was feeling like I was at my wits end, wondering why others could do it but I could not. In her book, I discovered this is not unusual and I am not alone.

From Victoria's extensive experience in helping others to understand the importance of eating raw she also observed that many people who came to her classes and were enormously happy with the positive health changes that were wrought in their lives by doing what she taught, still did not remain raw foodists. At one point she discovered that every single person she had taught, not long afterwards, quit doing it. She wondered why and with the same curiosity and seeking she used to solve her health problems, she did what she needed to do to find out why this was happening, and how to solve this problem, too. What she discovered is that cooked food is addictive and that if you become aware of that, it is more likely that you can nurture your skills at getting off of the addiction and getting on to new and rejuvenating health with raw food. Now she has had the experience of visiting former students who not only remained "raw" and continued to live in their new health, but because of her students others have also gone raw and improved their health, too.

That, for me, is what I am seeking: the reasons for going raw, the how to go raw, and the way to stay raw all boiled down into something that I can keep fresh and in focus so I can actually reach my goal. Why do it if you are not going to keep doing it until there is a compelling reason to do something else? And how do you deal with temptation? 

It seems that some people go raw, and stay raw for a certain number of years and then make another change as is needed for their own health. Some people go for the rest of their lives as a raw foodist. It all depends on the individual. And, I think that is one of the main points that anyone needs to understand -- that I need to understand. It is about personal mission and purpose. It is also about listening and responding to your own body and its specific health needs.

She has also given me a way to begin to satisfy my body's cravings by feeding it highly nutritious green smoothies. She explains that the body wants and needs certain nutrients and if the foods we are eating (the Standard American Diet) are not fulfilling those needs we are left continually hungry and craving. The green smoothies are raw green leafy veggies and fruit that have been broken down for the body's use. Breaking the food down in a blender is like a supplement to chewing which makes it easier for the body to digest and actually use the fabulous nutrients to heal what needs to be healed. Once the body has been nourished for a few weeks in this manner the cravings begin to stop and then it is much easier to go raw with less problems. She said it took her and her husband about two months, but the children adjusted more quickly. The green smoothies were something I had left out. After reading this I made one this morning which was very satisfying. Who knew? In a few weeks I will know if this is actually true or not. I will keep you posted.

One of the revelations that I have gotten from reading Victoria's insight is that temptation is a distraction and can only be conquered by keeping the main goal in the fore front of your mind. As I thought back on times when I was able to accomplish some thing in my life, it did come from being completely focused on what I was going to get out of doing it. As I have gotten older something has changed in me. I suppose that is simply how life is. We do not remain as we were when we were young. Life and experience change us and sometimes the change is discouragement.

As I think about it, I am glad I did not stay where I was. I like many of the changes that have taken place in me as I have matured, but there are parts of me that I just never conquered. Weight and health being not only the most obvious, but also the most frustrating and difficult for me. It is no wonder. The standard American diet I was eating is not a healing nor a weight loss diet. It is what is causing the fat, the pain and the suffering. Not until a person realizes that for themselves and makes the drastic change to consuming healthy raw foods can they ever get beyond it. You are what you eat.

My recent setback with the Xylitol has given me a new impetus. I was taken back to square one with that one, but I have started over again, already. A friend pointed out to me her view that I did not simply stay down, that I continued to begin again, and I appreciated her encouragement. When she said that I realized that yes, there was a time in my life when for some long years I had completely given up on ever losing weight or improving  my health. But after praying for God to deliver me, I did get the motivation to no longer quit. I got the belief that I can get up and try again. Like Victoria, I just needed to seek and to find the answers that I needed.

I am about to begin doing some of the written exercises she suggests with the idea in mind of zeroing in on what my main reason for doing this is. I have kept my reasons vague, to myself, out of habit, and that seems to be one of the problems. I need to get clear on why I want to do this. What will be the benefit to me? Why is it so important? If I am honest I can see that I kept my reasons vague for the purpose of doing things my own way and continuing to sample the forbidden things. I wanted to make the change, but didn't want to change anything -- if that makes any sense. It was a way of having my cake and eating it too. But I can very clearly see that that does not work. I accomplish nothing when I plan to avoid what is really needed. If you skirt the real issues you simply keep going in circles and I'm really tired of doing that. I'd like to get on with it.

So. Here I am, again. I kind of like this place. It is exciting to think that I can do this. I just needed the right perspective, information, and help to get going again. I am grateful to God that he answered my prayers for help with Victoria Boutenko's experience, insight, and compassion for real life situations. Here is the URL to her web site: http://www.rawfamily.com/

I want to encourage you and let you know, that I believe you can accomplish your health and weight goals, too. I am rooting for you. Thanks for rooting for me, I appreciate it.

Be back soon

--Marcia

Blood Sugar 98 Before Lunch

Hi,

I am beginning to think my suspicions about the Xylitol were correct. I just tested my blood sugar and it was 98 after not using any since last Tuesday. A number that I have not seen recently. So the X-sugar was what sent everything in the wrong direction. I wish I had not trusted what I read and had tested to make sure before now. Just goes to show you, you cannot become lax, you have to keep on top of things if you are going to manage your diabetes or prediabetes properly and accurately.

I stopped using the bulk sweetener (one or two teaspoons a day), the chewing gum (up to four tiny squares a day), and the nasal spray (from three to four times a day) and began to use an alternate nasal spray with oils of oregano and basil in it instead which I had on hand. I had been kind of avoiding that one. I had purchased it at a natural health store and had been told it was for yeast infection in the nasal passages, which I had at the time, but my doctor had prescribed a medication for it that had solved the problem so I never really tried it. I had opened it and smelled it and decided it was too strong and too bizarre for me. It smells like spaghetti sauce and I just could not squirt it up my nose.

But when I stopped the Xylitol spray and needed a shot in the nasal passages due to the dry heat inside the house, I tried it. It really was not as bad as I had thought it might be. I have been using it since I stopped the Xylitol nasal spray, but noticed this morning that it seems to irritate a little so need to be careful with it. I guess a plain saline solution may be the next thing I try. Perhaps I should either dilute the oregano spray or simply alternate them.

I had been using a Vicks vapo-steamer in my bedroom but it seems to make everything in the bedroom and the bathroom a little damp and also did not seem to affect my nasal passages as much as I had wanted it to. I was still waking up with a very dry nose and was using the nasal spray along with it anyway. Well, moving right along.

I also saw some video testimonials at
http://www.thebestofrawfood.com/raw-food-diet-testimonials.html
yesterday and watched as person after person said they had healed their diabetes and lost lots of weight by eating a raw vegan diet. I began to wonder why I am having so much trouble when they seem to have accomplished so much more in the same amount of time. I think the difference may be the "vegan" part. I am still eating hard boiled eggs and tuna and had even started eating some string cheese but the string cheese seems to keep the eating machine activated so need to put a stop to that, again, too. It seems that every time I try to add anything to my simple plain raw vegetable, nut and seed diet it messes me up by bringing my progress to a standstill. This time the Xylitol actually went way beyond "standstill" and pushed me in the totally wrong direction.

I am considering going all raw for a while and seeing if that works for me as it has worked for the people in the videos. They also seem to talk a lot about "juicing" -- I've not been so very attracted to that but perhaps I should attempt to incorporate it. They also seem to eat fruit, but with my high uric acid levels I need to avoid fructose until the UA gets down to normal, I think. So still cannot eat fruit. I still feel a little reluctant with the juicing but so many people seem to swear by it, maybe I really should look into it again.

I think maybe I need to begin trying some of the raw recipes for variety, too. I've been eating salads for a long time now and I still like them, but desire to eat something other than salad sometimes. Just for the sake of variety and quelling the boredom I sometimes feel.

Well that is where I am today. I don't think of this as a "bad" place just an observatory space. It is OK for now and I am thinking about making some changes soon.

Hope all is well with you,

Be back soon,

--Marcia

Danger Zone

Hi,

I just got a call from my doctor's office concerning the lab work I had done just before Christmas. It seems that my A1c has shot up to 6.0 and my uric acid levels have gone up from 8.3 to 9.4 and my doctor has prescribed Allopurinol for the uric acid, which I have to go and pick up at Walgreens. Eye-yi-yi!

These tests were taken before I started getting goofy with my eating, I think, so I am really flabbergasted. I had noticed that when I checked my blood sugar it was back up to the ranges it had been before and I was having some joint pain in my left big toe and left thumb which have cleared up now.

I asked if they had found a urinary tract infection and they said there was none but I feel I have all the symptoms and have been drinking very diluted cranberry juice and had also been taking D-mannose... I wonder if that is what is causing the problems. D-mannose is a sugar which is supposed to get rid of UTI bacteria (I had been taking it by the time I went to the doctor that day so maybe the bacteria simply did not register -- I have had similar things happen in the past when I have recognized a UTI and begun to treat it before the doctor's appointment) but maybe it is playing havoc with my blood sugar. I did not start doing the juice until about three days ago. Cranberry is one of only three fruits (lime and lemon are the other two) that do not have fructose -- or the amounts are so negligible that they do not register on the chart that I had found. Fructose is what raises uric acid levels -- or so I have read.

And the fact that my A1c has gone up to 6.0 is a mystery, too, because I had been eating properly for the three months before the test. I don't know what gives.

Josh, the guy I spoke with on the phone at the doctor's office said that high blood pressure can cause these things so I just checked it and it was 137/77 which, for me, is really quite good. I think the Hawthorne berry and the exercise is doing its job there. Thank God! I think I will read up on what the two numbers are measuring so I can begin to understand that too. The upper number is not yet normal which is 120, even though it is way better than where it had been in the past. (Anywhere from 172 to 142 -- so 137 is an improvement for me.) I am grateful for this good news, at least.

I also just checked my blood sugar which was 115 after having drunk about 30 ounces of water mixed with 2 ounces of cranberry juice (the kind that is solely cranberry juice and nothing else) about 20 minutes ago, so I think it is OK for me to continue with the diluted cranberry.

I am beginning to wonder if I have been having cravings because the blood sugar had gone high, or whether the blood sugar was high because of the cravings. I do believe they are related. I also believe my most recent wackiness is under somewhat better control today -- thank God. I have not had any chili cheese fries or anything real starchy for a while. I did recently have one small box of crackers that were gluten free and wheat free -- but they are now gone so that will not be a problem. I ate better food yesterday, but was bothered by what seemed to be the eating machine again. The buckle down has begun in earnest now.

I am still flabbergasted at the numbers that were taken before Christmas, though. I wish I could have gotten the results sooner -- maybe I would .... well, I am not going to go there. I need to focus on what is needed right now. I must say again, though, that I am completely surprised by this.

Well. What this means is regrouping. I will begin checking my blood sugars more often -- at the very least once in the morning, and taking my blood pressures so I can monitor what is going on. I am wondering if maybe the Xylitol that I had been using -- which I had read absolutely did not affect blood sugars -- actually does affect blood sugars. The only way to find out if that is the culprit is to eliminate it again and just stick to the vegetables and protein that I had been doing before all this mess happened. I had been putting Xylitol on what I call a "nut and seed snack" and having it rather late in the evening.

I had also been using a Xylitol nasal spray since the cold weather hit and the furnace started coming on, which has been keeping me from getting respiratory infections. I continued using it because I have already seen it both delay and eliminate a cold a couple of times this season. It has been nice to be "cold free." I hope the blood sugar raising is not due to that, but I can't think of anything else that has been entering my body that could have raised the sugars at that time. Perhaps that is what has set off the cravings, too. High blood sugars and cravings do travel hand in hand.

It must be the reason. I had not even eaten any fruit or sweets or anything else at the time I visited my doctor and had the tests done. An A1c measures blood sugar for the last three months, I think, so it had to be something affecting my sugars unbeknownst to me all along that time. Infection can raise the sugars. Sugar can raise the sugars -- but I had read about Xylitol before ever purchasing it and felt fine about using it. I will now eliminate it and see what happens to the blood sugars. It will, of course, help that I will be eating only fresh raw veggies and some nuts, seeds, and other protein, like eggs and a little cheese. I am again completely motivated to ignore the cravings and get back on the wagon. Thank God.

Maybe this is just the hit I needed to get back on track. I just measured my blood sugar one more time and it has gone down to 113 so I think I can still trust the diluted cranberry juice to be OK.

I don't know how you feel about all this. It is kind of self absorbed, but it is also important to me and hopefully someone else will be getting something from this too. Any comments and encouragement would be received gratefully.

Be back soon and in a better state, I hope

--Marcia

What Was I Thinking!?!

Hi

I just got an e-mail from a long time friend who said she was checking out my blog. (Hi Suzanne!) In her note she shared that she was diagnosed three years ago with prediabetes and through a step by step life style program she has slowly lowered her weight and does not take meds. She said, "It sure is a day by day take action in my own life kind of thing. It still is a day to day work in progress and I am very thankful for Life." Great going Suzanne!!

When I read her note, I suddenly realized that I have been trying to reverse my prediabetes and it turns out to be more of a monitoring program than a "get rid of" program. My own experience has seemed to verify that I need to change my thinking -- yet again. I am now hovering around a 20 pound weight loss since Oct 19, but have been making it teeter totter with cravings and tip toeing along the curb instead of striding down the sidewalk. My mind now seems to be focusing on "what I can get away with" rather than "walking the line." I don't know when that started to happen -- but I think it is the result of my "holiday shuffle."  I started shuffling the standards of what I eat. "You know... it's the holidays!  Have a little fun! Don't be so stodgy. Live a little!"

Unfortunately when you shuffle your eating menu to begin to allow things that you should not consume, you have just made a wrong decision. When you tell yourself you can handle this, and convince yourself that "later on" you can easily get back on track -- that does not create "Live a Little" -- it, ironically, produces "Die a Little." It is that same old addictive thinking again. You are hoodwinking yourself! Maybe I need to go ahead and delve into the "Fat Brain Lies" book again that I started a while ago and had put on the shelf until I got some "before pictures" to paste in the book. I'm going to get it out and start doing it.

I feel rather discouraged that I have not been able to lose more weight or control my eating the way I think it should be done. I did notice today that thinking about the "consequences" really does seem to guide me to better choices and I need to continue doing that. Somehow I seemed to think that I could go back to the same old eating habits and still wander my way to good health. There is something of a rebellion going on and that cannot be good. Right now, I am not even sure I know how my eating can be controlled.

I really am discouraged. But I am not going to stay there. I will take a look at what I really need to do and begin doing it fresh and new. I have been doing my exercise three days a week for a few months -- even though sometimes it is by the skin of my teeth -- I have been doing it. I exercised on Monday and will again tomorrow.

I am doing my stretchy bands and paying attention to slow and steady in both directions and also making sure I am putting more tension on the bands, too. The tension can be increased simply by stepping a little farther away from where they are fastened. After the bands, I do my Aerofit for 12 minutes but at the five minute mark I go as fast as I can for 30 seconds, and then slow back down to a walk. After two more minutes I go as fast as I can go for another 30 seconds and then cool down to the end. Sometimes my back hurts by that time but I just keep going to the 12 minute mark.

I need to pray about this. I have been praying about it and need to continue turning to the Lord because I just feel a little stumped or thwarted in my efforts and determination. I need His help.

I really am not going to let this get me down, I intend to get back on track and will report as that happens.

Short post. It is late. Just wanted to share where I am.

Still Praising God!!

Love you,

Be back soon,

--Marcia

Eating Considerations

Hi,

Been listening to John Robbins who is a vegetarian and health food guru. I got the link from a David Wolfe e-mail -- here is the URL if you'd like to listen:  http://www.thelongevitynowconference.com/robbins-video-1.html  

There are three parts to this video excerpt from the last Longevity Conference. I passively listened to all three videos as I was doing my exercise routine but was very struck by something that he said early on in his video. So much so, that I had to go back and listen again.

He was detailing his ideas on our skewed food culture and presented the idea that there are certain reasons that we eat. He said that we normally have three considerations when choosing what we eat:

1. taste
2. convenience
3. expense

When he said that, I realized that they are exactly the criteria that I take into consideration when I choose what to eat. I won't eat what does not taste good to me. If the food option is convenient I will likely choose it first. And expense is so ingrained that if I feel something is "too expensive" I simply do not even walk by it. It is simply not on my menu of reality or of real possibilities. That option becomes invisible to me.

JR said that if taste, convenience and expense are our ONLY considerations then McDonald's will easily satisfy all three considerations. Ah-ha! That is where I have been lerking for the last week or so -- not at McDonald's but at Hardees right next door.

I was disappointed that he did not delve more deeply into this subject. He moved on to other things, but I can see that I have a personal need to investigate this concept more deeply.

He also pointed out that the considerations we use are based on the question "Why do we eat?" Do we eat simply to indulge this moment? Do we eat based on our habits? Why do we eat?

Our questions are actually formed by what we believe is true. Our answers are also formed by what we believe is true. Some people will answer the question, "Why do I eat?" with a reason which is meant to redirect blame. They will come up with answers like, "I would change the way I eat EXCEPT that....... fill in the blank." If you ask them this question they immediately feel guilty -- especially if they happen to be over weight and want to change the situation for fear of other people's judgments --  or suffer from a condition that requires food monitoring (such as diabetes, or allergies) which they struggle with.  I'm not talking about that.

I feel that I need to examine why I eat in order to rise up to the standard that I actually believe in. What are the food standards that we fall down from -- or rise up to? Do you have a set of beliefs in this area? What are they? Do your eating habits follow your spiritual beliefs or do your food habits follow your fleshly desires? Is one better than the other? Do we need balance or dedication? Are there other criteria that we should consider? What is important beyond taste, convenience, and expense?

HR also asked the question why do some people whom you hit twice simply stay down. And why do some people who are hit eight times get up nine? These questions are not meant to make you wallow in the answers or excuses we use. I'd like this to be simply looking at the truth of our lives. The truth of mine, at least. I'm not looking to be beat up, just to come a little closer to solving the riddle of why I keep falling down.

I seem to be avoiding answering the question, "Why do I eat"? I had to step back and take a look at that question. Saying it in that way overwhelms and stumps me so I prayed and asked God to search my heart and point me in the right direction. He said that I don't really need to focus on the question "Why do I eat" but on the question "What are my considerations?"

These are my considerations when I am craving:

1. taste -- A picture suddenly pops into my head -- usually of something starchy like chili cheese fries, or hot dogs -- so taste does not mean the taste on my tongue but the desire in my heart portrayed by the picture that has appeared in my head.

2. convenience -- Do I have any in the house or do I need to go out and get some to fulfill the picture in my head? So this is about procurement or "getting what I want" rather than "convenience.

3. expense -- do I have enough to foot the bill in relation to what I have in mind. It is not about whether I can afford this item in the long run, but do I have enough right now to get what I want... so this too is about the desire in my heart and not really "expense."

So my considerations when I am craving really are:

1. what do I want
2. what do I have to do to get what I want

This appears to be a character flaw. Wow. Basic. Fleshly. I might say "just like a baby" who wants what they want no matter what. I wonder if this would be accurately called "emotional" eating which would actually be "eating without consideration."

When I go on a craving run, I do actually consider if there is something similar that is somewhat healthier in some way. Like the other day when I opted for chili cheese fries instead of a chili dog because the fries were not part of the grain family which I consider to be the worst thing I could eat (especially white bread). I'm not saying fries are healthy; and I am also analyzing the "craving brain set," not the sane one.

The other questions is, "What would I like my eating considerations to be?"


1. consequences
2. supply
3. desire

Consequences as in, "Will this food add to my health or detract from it?" Adding to my health would be fresh vegetables and some form of protein or slow carbs. Detracting from my health would be starchy carbs, fruit, sweets, fast carbs of any kind, and junk food.

Supply as in, "Do I have something good to eat or do I need to shop for good things to eat?" Supply also implies "preparation" such as being prepared by having only good food in the house.

Desire as in, "Do I like to eat what I am considering eating?" -- I have on some occasions bought something that was good for me to eat but I did not like it, so ended up throwing it away.

My first three turned into two and were:
1. what do I want
2. what do I have to do to get what I want
-- which under the craving mind set demonstrates greed, or more appropriately, avarice -- excessive or insatiable desire.

My three healthy considerations turned into the following questions:

1. consequences -- "Will this food add to my health or detract from it?"
2. supply -- "Do I have something good to eat or do I need to shop for good things to eat?"
3. desire -- "Do I like to eat what I am considering eating?"

I am not sure but I would like to think that focusing on: consequences, supply and desire -- may help me to make better choices. I know that there are a few physical reactions that actually cause cravings such as having eaten starchy carbs at the last meal or snack is one. A yeast infection can trigger cravings also.  Some medications trigger cravings, and some emotional situations can set them off, also.

But if I simply ask myself to make my choices based on better criteria -- I would like to think I will rise to the standard.  "Consequences, supply, and desire" will be my new "watch" words for a few days as I test out this theory for validity.

And I'd like to remember the question:  "Why do some people whom you hit twice simply stay down. And why do some people who are hit eight times get up nine?" -- when I look back over the last year in relation to food and eating, I seem to have turned into the one who keeps getting up and I am grateful for the good news! Thank God!

Let us begin again in 2011 and rise up to the standard we believe in!!

What do you think? Got any advice or suggestions? I would love to hear your point of view and suggestions on this one.

Be back soon,

--Marcia