Hi,
I am really glad I took the raw food beginner class that my doctor (Dr Lisa Robbins of The Robbins Health Alliance, Stone Mountain, GA) held last Saturday. There were four of us in the class plus our illustrious teacher and we got lots of special individual attention and tried out each other's concoctions as we learned to make them. We broke up into two teams of two people and each team would make a recipe and then we shared with everybody, so we could all taste all of them.
The first thing we made were green smoothies. I was glad for this opportunity because I had never tried one before the class and had wondered what all the hoopla was about. They always looked unappetizing to me when I would see them on TV. I was just not really interested in them, even though I had begun to notice that in the raw food realm there is a lot of smoothie making going on. We had a choice of making fruit smoothies or savory smoothies and since all of us had either diabetic or weight issues, we all decided to try the savory ones.
I was completely surprised, not only by the good flavor, but by how they completely filled me up almost instantly. I think I need to point out, though, that I was in an emotional state of anxiety when I attended the class because I had found out the day before that my next tier of unemployment was only 14 weeks and not the 26 weeks I had been expecting. I had been thrown completely for a loop with that one. Since then I have gone to the DOL website and now know what to expect in the not too distant future. When I get like that, my appetite shuts down. I have been known to go for entire days without eating. Fortunately it does not happen often. So I kind of think that that may be part of the reason they filled me up so completely, on that day. I have noticed since then when I have made the green smoothy that I have more "room" for it, and can drink the whole recipe in one sitting without much trouble.
As to the taste. Well. I think you may have to let yourself get used to it. They don't taste especially bad, they are just a little unusual, but it is not too far from the flavor of salad, so it is not completely unfathomable. The texture is like a nice thick soup, but it is uncooked so it is room temperature. The one I have been making at home was the milder of the two recipes we tried, being made with red leaf lettuce, part of an avocado, a little onion, lime juice, celery and basil, and a couple of cups of water. I did not have any basil, but poured in a little of my homemade curry powder. It did not seem to affect the flavor very much, so perhaps a little more may have been in order.
One of the things we were able to experience in the class was using a Vita-mix heavy duty blender to make the smoothies. I don't have one of those, but I did purchase a Ninja machine off of the TV a few months ago and mine seems to work great for making the smoothies that I have tried so far. When I made my first one at home, I was out of celery, but the Ninja easily made liquid of the rest of the ingredients. Today I was able to put in the celery and it chopped all but one piece of it up very nicely, so I am pleased with my Ninja and am not planning on getting one of the big expensive machines (which I cannot afford anyway). I suppose I may run into something that it may not "blend" but it would have to be pretty dense to not succomb to the two levels of knives in the Ninja. I'm thinking carrots. I might try some when I get the chance.
There was one recipe that everyone in the class thought was absolutely superb. It was a kind of mock spaghetti. Instead of pasta noodles, thin curly strips of raw zucchini were whirled off of a spiral cutter and then left to sit while the sauce was made in the Vita-mix. The marinara sauce was raw and uncooked but tasted every bit as good as real spaghetti sauce to me. Here is the recipe in case you would like to try it:
Marinara Sauce
2.5 C roma tomatoes
1 jar of sundried tomatoes marinated in olive oil (about 8 oz)
1/4 C of olive oil
4 cloves garlic
3 dates (dried) pitted and soaked in a little water to cover
2 TBS parsley
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp sea salt
(I thought it needed a little oregano, too -- perhaps a TBS)
You just put everything in your food processor and blend until smooth.
When you have the above raw marinara sauce made, then pour it over the zucchini strips and serve. We all loved that one and had seconds, too. The original recipe as listed in our books had used 12 sundried tomatoes, soaked -- but the bottled sundried tomatoes was our teacher's preference. She said we could use 1/2 the bottle or all of it and we chose to use all of it in our sauce.
There was one other thing that our teacher made for us, which was excellent as far as flavor and texture goes, but I would be reluctant to start eating it on a diabetes reversing diet. She soaked a few dried dates in water for about 30 minutes and then sliced up an apple. On each piece of apple she squashed a soaked date and handed them to us, telling us they tasted like caramel apples. She was right. If I had had a blindfold on, I would have sworn I was eating a bit of caramel apple. It had the exact same flavor and even the texture was the same. She did not know who had thought that one up, but it was tasty. Of course that is way to much sugar for a diabetic, so I am not planning on making those unless I have company and also have the ingredients because I don't think I could eat just one and let it go at that. I think the eating machine would gladly turn on for those little guys. I am better off, just leaving them alone.
All in all, I thought the class was good and I'm glad I did it, but the price was very steep for me and caused my budget to get out of whack at the end of the month, so no more classes like that for me. I am glad I did it because it has opened up a whole new area of raw foods for me.
I want to say something here, too. I don't think I would be in a place where I was trying out the raw food program if it had not been for "The 30 Day Diabetes Cure" program that I had previously done (which is how this blog got started.) What the program did for me, was take me by the hand, and help me to make the day by day changes that I needed to make in order to get me to the point where I could actually see myself doing the raw food program. I think the raw food program is the logical next step to what is taught in the book. So. If you have been reading about the raw food program but the change is just too drastic for you to make all at once. If it is just too hard to go from eating cooked comfort foods like meat and potatoes to eating a raw vegan diet, "The 30 Day Diabetes Cure" will help to get you down the road to a place where you can make that change if you actually want to. And you don't need to make the change to raw foods if you don't need to. I needed to make the change if I was ever going to actually lose weight, but maybe you won't have to. You won't know until you do it.
What "The 30 Day Diabetes Cure" does is begin to get you off of sugar on the very first day. That alone is a big step for someone living on the standard American diet and suffering from diabetes or prediabetes. You have to start with the worst thing in the diet and get rid of it first -- and that is table sugar. You only commit to doing it for 10 days, so it is an easy step and once you are off of it, why would you want to go back? Your 10 day experiment soon turns into a real commitment without it being a big hairy deal. During the next 10 days you learn about all the bad things in artificial sugars and soon don't want to eat those either. You begin trying Stevia, and whether you start using it or not, suddenly you are more open to trying new things. Which leads to getting rid of the rest of the processed foods which is also a major culprit in the SAD diet.
You get to make the changes with someone holding your hand and helping you every step of the way. At least that is how I felt on the program. I would read the content for the day and do what it said. You can read my blog, I was not perfect at it. I shared what was hard and what was easy, and sometimes I was completely embarrassed to let you know what else I had done that day that was wrong. But here I am, eating mostly raw foods and really enjoying the foods and how they make me feel.
I now know I can make the changes and not die. I know that may sound funny, but I think that is how we relate to what we eat. We think if we have to stop eating our favorites foods and start eating vegetables instead, we might die.
Guess what? If you are now eating the standard American diet (or even the slight variation of that which is the standard diabetic diet taught by the present medical community and dietitians) and you don't make the change to eating living food you will die from what you are eating -- a lot sooner than you expected.
We cannot eliminate death, but we can sure make the latter part of our lives better by eating healthy living food and reversing diabetes and avoiding its complications. I can hardly believe I have made the change. I had no idea this is where I would end up -- and I am still going down the road.
A lady at church, yesterday, told me she could tell I was losing weight. I was surprised that anyone could see that I had lost only 11 pounds, it usually takes about 30 before anyone can see it on me, but she could see it and her sister agreed. That made me feel good.
I still struggle, but I am glad the Lord has made me able to make the changes, and is walking with me, wherever I go. Thank you Jesus.
Be back soon -- Lord willing!
--Marcia
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Raw Food Ramblings and a Situation Resolved
Hi,
I have been watching raw food videos on YouTube and learning that there seems to be a whole subculture of people advocating and teaching about the benefits of eating raw foods. Some of them actually eat raw meat, but I have not seen any actual videos on that. I think that the majority of raw foodists may be vegan, from what I have seen, but that depends upon the individual. When my personal doctor first told me about her raw food program she explained that many people who eat 50, 75, 80 percent raw foods still consider themselves to be raw foodists. There are a lot of web sites and many of them are selling stuff, but some have good information. I like to watch David Wolfe the best, but also enjoyed some others and got good information, I think.
I am looking forward to attending my doctor's class this Saturday and learning how to make raw food recipes. From what I have seen in the recipes online there is a lot of juicing, blending, chopping, but no heating above about 114 degrees F. I watched one video of a couple making raw apple pie in their kitchen. They used raw walnuts for the crust, raw apples blended with cinnamon as a binder and put in cut up apples. They also put in a layer of raspberries between the walnuts and the apples and sprinkled a few walnuts on top. Of course I need to be careful with the sweet fruits but I watched the video just out of curiosity.
I saw another lady sharing how to make flax seed crackers in a dehydrator which had been set to about 105 degrees F. It took about 18 hours to "cook" them, but when they came out, you could see that they were crisp and broke off in chunks similar in shape, size and texture to tortilla chips. They just put the flax seeds in a bowl with some water and let it sit. After about 4 or 5 hours of sitting in the water the seeds had emitted enough gelatin that the mass became like "batter" to which they added some other finely chopped or ground raw vegetables and spices. When they came out of the dehydrator, after having been turned over midway, they looked pretty much like regular crackers, but they were not baked. I wish I could have tasted them to see what they were really like. I don't have a dehydrator but I suppose I could just put my oven on low and do the same thing.
I am familiar with the unique taste of flax seeds and also with the fact that when they are put in water, there is a gel like substance that forms.To me the flavor of flax seeds is somewhat odd, but not unpalatable. Perhaps as I do more and more raw foods over a longer period of time my taste buds will change. I have seen them change in the past. They seem to be governed more by what I have been recently consuming than genes, if you understand what I mean.
When I was a child my mother made a flax seed poultice for me when I got a bee sting that became infected. I had a red line going up my leg and she immediately set about making a poultice for me. I watched and remembered how she did it. First she set a pot of water on to boil. Then got a glass bowl and put a piece of muslin cloth over the top of it draping it over the edges. She then placed a handful of flax seeds in the middle of the cloth and then poured the boiling water over the seeds and let it sit, kind of floating in the water slightly. After a few minutes she folded the cloth over and took it out of the bowl and put it in another bowl to let it cool down enough so it could be placed on my skin without burning me. When it was the right temperature, she placed it on the bee sting and let it sit until it was cold. She heated it up again with more hot water, cooled it to body temperature and placed it on the wound again. In the morning the red line was shorter, but it was not gone. She made another fresh flax seed poultice and applied it to my sting and the red line disappeared that day, and the wound healed. I think I remember her digging out the stinger too.
I have used her remedy on boils and it works really well and much faster than taking antibiotics. Mom always said that it drew the infection out. I am not sure that it is the flax seed, especially, that does the healing. I kind of think it is the heat that kills the infection, but the seeds hold the heat and let it penetrate the wound. It sure feels good when you use it and the wound always looks cleaner when you remove the cooled off poultice. Of course, now a days doctors have antibiotics to kill infections but if you are ever in a situation where you can't get any, a flax seed poultice might be a good thing to remember and try. (Maybe I should put in one of those "I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice" disclaimers -- so that was it.)
I am just learning to eat more raw food at this point in time. One of the things I have noticed is that eating raw leafy vegetables actually can fill me up. Of course I like to add tomatoes, cucumber, broccoli sprouts, avocado, and anything else I have in the fridge, such as zuchinni or green pepper and onion if I have any. But raw food really does make my tummy feel full up. Not every single time, though. Sometimes I need a little bread, so I have been buying the Ezekial bread but I make sure to get the one in the light orange label that says it is lower on the glycemic scale. It tastes good, I actually like it better than the regular Ezekial bread.
Every once in a while I add a can of tuna to the salad or some hard boiled eggs. I am not going to be eating any raw eggs per the recent salmonella scare. Each day is different. I find that I am not eating as much tuna as I was before. I also add feta cheese to my salads from time to time. I don't seem to be eating any meat at all, just a little dairy in the form of cheese. I might try yohgurt from time to time and a little large curd cottage cheese, also. It feels like I am a vegetarian, almost.
I had a rough patch with a friend this week. It was really a hard one for me and I feel depressed in my heart. I think God may have more for me to learn on this one, because it is still on my mind and I feel kind of low and unsure about something that I did. I continue to pray to the Lord, for He is always good and the best Friend a person could ever hope to have. I hope to begin to understand why I continue to feel so bad.
My friend and I had a long and heated discussion about an incident that happened between us, which I cooled down by simply beginning to agree with her. I was tired of the fight and could see it was going no where, and she was very defensive about anything that I said. It did not matter whether my remarks were casual or pointed she began to be defensive and fight with every word I said. We were not really headed in a good direction. I began to see how very important it was to her to be right, so I simply started telling her she was right and I was wrong. I was hoping that she would see how important it was to her to be right and that that was the source of much of what she was saying and why she was defending herself so hard over a matter that was really inconsequential in the long run.
I was not attacking her and when I started blatantly repeating that she was right over and over in every way I could think of she never noticed how that cooled her down. In fact when I began to say that, she would pause and say, "What did you say, please repeat that, I did not hear it," nearly every time I told her she was right. It was so not what she expected that she could not even hear it, until I repeated that she was right and I was wrong. I could see that her deep and unconscious goal was to be right. It was connected to her sense of security and self in some deep way. I knew I was in a losing battle so I just gave it to her. It was actually kind of amazing to see what happened when I started to do that. It really defused the situation. It took the heat out, and kept a real collision from happening.
At the end of our conversation I was in a state of tears and deep sorrow that I still cannot explain, but she simply started to change the subject even though I was audibly crying on the phone. She felt fine, but I was a shambles. She was done and moved on. I felt like I got a true picture of where her heart really was from doing that. I began to see that she was not capable of giving me anything more, so I stopped expecting it or asking for it from her. All I really wanted was for her to see that we were both injured in the "transaction" but she never seemed to see that I was injured, too. She, like all of us, is a wounded individual, so I cannot expect to get more than she is able to give. She tries hard, and is completely sincere, and it seemed to mean so much to her to be right, so I just gave that to her. I think I did the right thing, but I don't know what to do about how I now feel. The only thing I know to do is to turn it over to God and ask for healing. I feel like my heart is broken and I still don't really understand why I feel this way.
One thing I do see very clearly now is the effect of always having to be right, which is something that I think I do, too. In fact, I know I do that too and perhaps that is what the Lord wanted me to see from all of this. How devastating it can be to a relationship when you have to be right. I think that is why it became such a heated argument between us. I had already noticed that she viewed the situation one way, and was very upset because of how she viewed it. I came at it from an entirely different angle and set of expectations, and could see that both of our view points were viable. Neither one of them was more correct, they were both correct. We both made sense when you heard the whole story from each side. It really was a situation that was caused simply by differing view points. I could tell I was never going to be able to get her to see my side as viable and forgivable. I could tell that my side or view point, only served to upset her more. When I stopped defending my upset and point of view and simply allowed her to be right, her world was right again. I don't even care about being right in this situation anymore, but I feel awful, and I don't know why, other than I think I feel like I can no longer trust her. I feel like our friendship is forever changed and that I can no longer entrust my self into her hands because I will or may not be taken care of.
But isn't that the human relationship dilemma? If you have to be right, then everybody else has to be wrong. It is hard to love someone who always tells you that you are wrong. I think the Bible says something about this that seems to be slipping into my mind.
1 Cor 6:7-8 Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.
According to this, my simply diffusing the situation and letting her be right was the right thing to do. Even Jesus did not seek to be right, but to do the will of His Father.
Joh 5:30 "I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.
Getting upset, and always "being right" to the detriment of others is the supremely selfish way to be. I am looking at myself here, not anyone else. I know that I have always had some strong investment in being right. In terms of relationships, my being right, has only caused me problems. If I am right, they must then be wrong. Putting someone else at a disadvantage, by putting your self forward as the expert and having to be right, causes division and collision between people.
Jas 1:20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
My becoming angry does not produce the righteousness of God. My wrath only causes pain to others and to myself.
I am beginning to feel better because I did end up doing the right thing. Isn't that funny, the thing I saw in her, is the same thing I see in me. I could not feel better until I saw that I had actually done the right thing. By making her feel better about herself, I served her, and did, I think, what God actually wants me to do. I don't have to worry about trusting myself into her hands -- I am not in her hands. I am in God's hands, and He is the ultimate judge. I can still be friends with her. I think maybe our friendship might actually end up being on a better footing because of this. At least I hope so. I did not really want to lose her friendship. She is important to me and I do love her. Thanks for letting me go on, until I reached a resolution. That is one of the things that writing does for me. It helps me to see what I am really thinking. It helps me to wander to the next thought with more clarity. I actually no longer feel broken hearted. Thank God for His forever goodness and showing me, in His word, what I needed to see.
I had not intended to discuss this situation in public, but having done so, it has helped me. Perhaps someone else was in need of this self discussion or thought process, too. May you be blessed. May my friend be blessed and her burden removed. Thank God!
Praise the Lord!
1 Cor 13:1 ¶ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 ¶ Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 ¶ Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
1 ¶ Follow after charity, ....
Looking forward to the raw food preparation class tomorrow and will be letting you know how it went.
Be back soon,
--Marcia
I have been watching raw food videos on YouTube and learning that there seems to be a whole subculture of people advocating and teaching about the benefits of eating raw foods. Some of them actually eat raw meat, but I have not seen any actual videos on that. I think that the majority of raw foodists may be vegan, from what I have seen, but that depends upon the individual. When my personal doctor first told me about her raw food program she explained that many people who eat 50, 75, 80 percent raw foods still consider themselves to be raw foodists. There are a lot of web sites and many of them are selling stuff, but some have good information. I like to watch David Wolfe the best, but also enjoyed some others and got good information, I think.
I am looking forward to attending my doctor's class this Saturday and learning how to make raw food recipes. From what I have seen in the recipes online there is a lot of juicing, blending, chopping, but no heating above about 114 degrees F. I watched one video of a couple making raw apple pie in their kitchen. They used raw walnuts for the crust, raw apples blended with cinnamon as a binder and put in cut up apples. They also put in a layer of raspberries between the walnuts and the apples and sprinkled a few walnuts on top. Of course I need to be careful with the sweet fruits but I watched the video just out of curiosity.
I saw another lady sharing how to make flax seed crackers in a dehydrator which had been set to about 105 degrees F. It took about 18 hours to "cook" them, but when they came out, you could see that they were crisp and broke off in chunks similar in shape, size and texture to tortilla chips. They just put the flax seeds in a bowl with some water and let it sit. After about 4 or 5 hours of sitting in the water the seeds had emitted enough gelatin that the mass became like "batter" to which they added some other finely chopped or ground raw vegetables and spices. When they came out of the dehydrator, after having been turned over midway, they looked pretty much like regular crackers, but they were not baked. I wish I could have tasted them to see what they were really like. I don't have a dehydrator but I suppose I could just put my oven on low and do the same thing.
I am familiar with the unique taste of flax seeds and also with the fact that when they are put in water, there is a gel like substance that forms.To me the flavor of flax seeds is somewhat odd, but not unpalatable. Perhaps as I do more and more raw foods over a longer period of time my taste buds will change. I have seen them change in the past. They seem to be governed more by what I have been recently consuming than genes, if you understand what I mean.
When I was a child my mother made a flax seed poultice for me when I got a bee sting that became infected. I had a red line going up my leg and she immediately set about making a poultice for me. I watched and remembered how she did it. First she set a pot of water on to boil. Then got a glass bowl and put a piece of muslin cloth over the top of it draping it over the edges. She then placed a handful of flax seeds in the middle of the cloth and then poured the boiling water over the seeds and let it sit, kind of floating in the water slightly. After a few minutes she folded the cloth over and took it out of the bowl and put it in another bowl to let it cool down enough so it could be placed on my skin without burning me. When it was the right temperature, she placed it on the bee sting and let it sit until it was cold. She heated it up again with more hot water, cooled it to body temperature and placed it on the wound again. In the morning the red line was shorter, but it was not gone. She made another fresh flax seed poultice and applied it to my sting and the red line disappeared that day, and the wound healed. I think I remember her digging out the stinger too.
I have used her remedy on boils and it works really well and much faster than taking antibiotics. Mom always said that it drew the infection out. I am not sure that it is the flax seed, especially, that does the healing. I kind of think it is the heat that kills the infection, but the seeds hold the heat and let it penetrate the wound. It sure feels good when you use it and the wound always looks cleaner when you remove the cooled off poultice. Of course, now a days doctors have antibiotics to kill infections but if you are ever in a situation where you can't get any, a flax seed poultice might be a good thing to remember and try. (Maybe I should put in one of those "I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice" disclaimers -- so that was it.)
I am just learning to eat more raw food at this point in time. One of the things I have noticed is that eating raw leafy vegetables actually can fill me up. Of course I like to add tomatoes, cucumber, broccoli sprouts, avocado, and anything else I have in the fridge, such as zuchinni or green pepper and onion if I have any. But raw food really does make my tummy feel full up. Not every single time, though. Sometimes I need a little bread, so I have been buying the Ezekial bread but I make sure to get the one in the light orange label that says it is lower on the glycemic scale. It tastes good, I actually like it better than the regular Ezekial bread.
Every once in a while I add a can of tuna to the salad or some hard boiled eggs. I am not going to be eating any raw eggs per the recent salmonella scare. Each day is different. I find that I am not eating as much tuna as I was before. I also add feta cheese to my salads from time to time. I don't seem to be eating any meat at all, just a little dairy in the form of cheese. I might try yohgurt from time to time and a little large curd cottage cheese, also. It feels like I am a vegetarian, almost.
I had a rough patch with a friend this week. It was really a hard one for me and I feel depressed in my heart. I think God may have more for me to learn on this one, because it is still on my mind and I feel kind of low and unsure about something that I did. I continue to pray to the Lord, for He is always good and the best Friend a person could ever hope to have. I hope to begin to understand why I continue to feel so bad.
My friend and I had a long and heated discussion about an incident that happened between us, which I cooled down by simply beginning to agree with her. I was tired of the fight and could see it was going no where, and she was very defensive about anything that I said. It did not matter whether my remarks were casual or pointed she began to be defensive and fight with every word I said. We were not really headed in a good direction. I began to see how very important it was to her to be right, so I simply started telling her she was right and I was wrong. I was hoping that she would see how important it was to her to be right and that that was the source of much of what she was saying and why she was defending herself so hard over a matter that was really inconsequential in the long run.
I was not attacking her and when I started blatantly repeating that she was right over and over in every way I could think of she never noticed how that cooled her down. In fact when I began to say that, she would pause and say, "What did you say, please repeat that, I did not hear it," nearly every time I told her she was right. It was so not what she expected that she could not even hear it, until I repeated that she was right and I was wrong. I could see that her deep and unconscious goal was to be right. It was connected to her sense of security and self in some deep way. I knew I was in a losing battle so I just gave it to her. It was actually kind of amazing to see what happened when I started to do that. It really defused the situation. It took the heat out, and kept a real collision from happening.
At the end of our conversation I was in a state of tears and deep sorrow that I still cannot explain, but she simply started to change the subject even though I was audibly crying on the phone. She felt fine, but I was a shambles. She was done and moved on. I felt like I got a true picture of where her heart really was from doing that. I began to see that she was not capable of giving me anything more, so I stopped expecting it or asking for it from her. All I really wanted was for her to see that we were both injured in the "transaction" but she never seemed to see that I was injured, too. She, like all of us, is a wounded individual, so I cannot expect to get more than she is able to give. She tries hard, and is completely sincere, and it seemed to mean so much to her to be right, so I just gave that to her. I think I did the right thing, but I don't know what to do about how I now feel. The only thing I know to do is to turn it over to God and ask for healing. I feel like my heart is broken and I still don't really understand why I feel this way.
One thing I do see very clearly now is the effect of always having to be right, which is something that I think I do, too. In fact, I know I do that too and perhaps that is what the Lord wanted me to see from all of this. How devastating it can be to a relationship when you have to be right. I think that is why it became such a heated argument between us. I had already noticed that she viewed the situation one way, and was very upset because of how she viewed it. I came at it from an entirely different angle and set of expectations, and could see that both of our view points were viable. Neither one of them was more correct, they were both correct. We both made sense when you heard the whole story from each side. It really was a situation that was caused simply by differing view points. I could tell I was never going to be able to get her to see my side as viable and forgivable. I could tell that my side or view point, only served to upset her more. When I stopped defending my upset and point of view and simply allowed her to be right, her world was right again. I don't even care about being right in this situation anymore, but I feel awful, and I don't know why, other than I think I feel like I can no longer trust her. I feel like our friendship is forever changed and that I can no longer entrust my self into her hands because I will or may not be taken care of.
But isn't that the human relationship dilemma? If you have to be right, then everybody else has to be wrong. It is hard to love someone who always tells you that you are wrong. I think the Bible says something about this that seems to be slipping into my mind.
1 Cor 6:7-8 Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.
According to this, my simply diffusing the situation and letting her be right was the right thing to do. Even Jesus did not seek to be right, but to do the will of His Father.
Joh 5:30 "I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.
Getting upset, and always "being right" to the detriment of others is the supremely selfish way to be. I am looking at myself here, not anyone else. I know that I have always had some strong investment in being right. In terms of relationships, my being right, has only caused me problems. If I am right, they must then be wrong. Putting someone else at a disadvantage, by putting your self forward as the expert and having to be right, causes division and collision between people.
Jas 1:20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
My becoming angry does not produce the righteousness of God. My wrath only causes pain to others and to myself.
I am beginning to feel better because I did end up doing the right thing. Isn't that funny, the thing I saw in her, is the same thing I see in me. I could not feel better until I saw that I had actually done the right thing. By making her feel better about herself, I served her, and did, I think, what God actually wants me to do. I don't have to worry about trusting myself into her hands -- I am not in her hands. I am in God's hands, and He is the ultimate judge. I can still be friends with her. I think maybe our friendship might actually end up being on a better footing because of this. At least I hope so. I did not really want to lose her friendship. She is important to me and I do love her. Thanks for letting me go on, until I reached a resolution. That is one of the things that writing does for me. It helps me to see what I am really thinking. It helps me to wander to the next thought with more clarity. I actually no longer feel broken hearted. Thank God for His forever goodness and showing me, in His word, what I needed to see.
I had not intended to discuss this situation in public, but having done so, it has helped me. Perhaps someone else was in need of this self discussion or thought process, too. May you be blessed. May my friend be blessed and her burden removed. Thank God!
Praise the Lord!
1 Cor 13:1 ¶ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 ¶ Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 ¶ Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
1 ¶ Follow after charity, ....
Looking forward to the raw food preparation class tomorrow and will be letting you know how it went.
Be back soon,
--Marcia
Monday, September 20, 2010
Looking at What is Really Going On Here
Hi,
One of the things about blogging about addiction recovery is that it tends to point you in a direction that is familiar but with an unfamiliar goal. One of the things that I am having to face is letting you know that I fell off the wagon again. I am back on this morning but it is the same old story, which I am getting really tired of having to relate -- let alone anyone having to read about it one more time. Really tired. I am back up to 344 again, and all because I just could not leave the pizza alone when I was at Sweet Fellowship.
I was good when I got there. I had prepared by eating a nice big salad and my belly was full. When I got there, the pizza was no temptation because I was not hungry. After the lesson and chatting, a couple of hours later, though, it was a different story. This time when I was offered the pizza I pulled up a chair, let my magical thinking go wild, and told myself: "This is OK!! How could this hurt me? It is only pizza. I'll get back on track tomorrow."
After which I ate three point five slices of either sausage or hamburger pizza. I could not believe how good it tasted and got lost in the reverie of spicy sauce, melted cheese, and meat on a raised crust. Afterward, I realized that I chose pizza over weight loss for myself. Of course once the head lights (mine) go dim, things get real easy to fudge. The next day, I had an Arby's chicken, apple, walnut sandwich on whole wheat bread. One of their market fresh sandwiches. It was so large I could not get my mouth over it, so I took off the top slice of bread thinking that was a good idea. Then when the sandwich was done, I ate the topper, too.
Then Sunday I went to lunch at the Hong Kong Buffet near my house with a friend after church. I started off by thinking about "raw" and what did they have on the salad bar. The only thing raw was some tomatoes and cucumber in a sugary pickle juice, iceburg lettuce (which I do not eat) and some raw mushroom slices. I took some of the tomatoe cucumber, which is how I know it had sugar in it, I could taste it in the sauce which was a clear looking liquid. Sort of a mixture of vinegar and sugar and I have no idea what all. I took some mushroom slices and toasted sunflower seeds and put ranch dressing on them. That was not as bad as it might sound. And some seafood salad. That was not bad. The second plate was worse. I chose fried potatoes, angel hair pasta, some cooked veggies and chicken, some crab casserole, and topped it off with ice cream.
My friend asked me if the ice cream had sugar in it. I said yes. She said, "Why are you eating it, then?" I did not answer as she stepped away from the table to get more food and she did not ask again. I ate the ice cream with a couple of cookies.
I am so disgusted with myself. I cannot keep doing this over and over. What is it going to take?
What is it going to take for me to.... to what? To get serious about the connection between what I eat and how much I weigh. To really be committed to my own good health? To get it that magical thinking is not going to save me? To make the right food choices starting with the grocery list at home? To stop all this nonsense about "just letting me succumb" whenever I am faced with food that I know, full well, should not enter my mouth? How do I want to end up?
Marcia, if you are going to just let yourself get away with stuff that is patently not good for you, will you ever be anything different than what you are right now? Do you really want to change? Oh. That is the question. Do you really want to change? I think my real answer has been, up to now, No. I don't want to change. I want to eat what I want to eat. Wow. I have been attempting to get me to change, without seeing the reason or end goal in mind. I think -- in fact -- I know that I have been avoiding the fact that I don't believe I can be any other way. It is no longer "my little secret" -- or should I say "my really big secret?" Really big because it is getting in the way of what I am attempting here in a big way. Or am I just pretending?
As I was considering that, I began to imagine pictures of me in a state of slimness. Is it true that I could actually shed the excess weight and be slim, or just normal sized? It is almost too much to imagine me as slender, so I confuse the matter with the words "just normal sized." I don't want to be stumped by that. I do know it is possible for me to be slender/normal. Even simply slender. I could have a flat tummy if I just make the right choices, one by one, and every time.
I hope that by doing the "Fat Brain Lies" notebook I will have a little help with this. But I also see that I need to be dedicated. I want to feel that I am dedicated for life. I know me, if I have dedicated myself to a goal, I can reach it. If I can keep that in my sight, believing I can do it, I won't struggle day by day. I will follow the new eating program and that will be the end of it.
I was going to have my "before" notebook pictures taken today, but I messed up on getting there on time, and my friend had to go take care of some family business, so we will get together another time to take the pictures. Maybe I should just move on in the workbook.
Let me just say this. I feel that I am more dedicated right now. I do believe that I can change. I do want to change. The change will do me good.
Be back soon.
--Marcia
One of the things about blogging about addiction recovery is that it tends to point you in a direction that is familiar but with an unfamiliar goal. One of the things that I am having to face is letting you know that I fell off the wagon again. I am back on this morning but it is the same old story, which I am getting really tired of having to relate -- let alone anyone having to read about it one more time. Really tired. I am back up to 344 again, and all because I just could not leave the pizza alone when I was at Sweet Fellowship.
I was good when I got there. I had prepared by eating a nice big salad and my belly was full. When I got there, the pizza was no temptation because I was not hungry. After the lesson and chatting, a couple of hours later, though, it was a different story. This time when I was offered the pizza I pulled up a chair, let my magical thinking go wild, and told myself: "This is OK!! How could this hurt me? It is only pizza. I'll get back on track tomorrow."
After which I ate three point five slices of either sausage or hamburger pizza. I could not believe how good it tasted and got lost in the reverie of spicy sauce, melted cheese, and meat on a raised crust. Afterward, I realized that I chose pizza over weight loss for myself. Of course once the head lights (mine) go dim, things get real easy to fudge. The next day, I had an Arby's chicken, apple, walnut sandwich on whole wheat bread. One of their market fresh sandwiches. It was so large I could not get my mouth over it, so I took off the top slice of bread thinking that was a good idea. Then when the sandwich was done, I ate the topper, too.
Then Sunday I went to lunch at the Hong Kong Buffet near my house with a friend after church. I started off by thinking about "raw" and what did they have on the salad bar. The only thing raw was some tomatoes and cucumber in a sugary pickle juice, iceburg lettuce (which I do not eat) and some raw mushroom slices. I took some of the tomatoe cucumber, which is how I know it had sugar in it, I could taste it in the sauce which was a clear looking liquid. Sort of a mixture of vinegar and sugar and I have no idea what all. I took some mushroom slices and toasted sunflower seeds and put ranch dressing on them. That was not as bad as it might sound. And some seafood salad. That was not bad. The second plate was worse. I chose fried potatoes, angel hair pasta, some cooked veggies and chicken, some crab casserole, and topped it off with ice cream.
My friend asked me if the ice cream had sugar in it. I said yes. She said, "Why are you eating it, then?" I did not answer as she stepped away from the table to get more food and she did not ask again. I ate the ice cream with a couple of cookies.
I am so disgusted with myself. I cannot keep doing this over and over. What is it going to take?
What is it going to take for me to.... to what? To get serious about the connection between what I eat and how much I weigh. To really be committed to my own good health? To get it that magical thinking is not going to save me? To make the right food choices starting with the grocery list at home? To stop all this nonsense about "just letting me succumb" whenever I am faced with food that I know, full well, should not enter my mouth? How do I want to end up?
Marcia, if you are going to just let yourself get away with stuff that is patently not good for you, will you ever be anything different than what you are right now? Do you really want to change? Oh. That is the question. Do you really want to change? I think my real answer has been, up to now, No. I don't want to change. I want to eat what I want to eat. Wow. I have been attempting to get me to change, without seeing the reason or end goal in mind. I think -- in fact -- I know that I have been avoiding the fact that I don't believe I can be any other way. It is no longer "my little secret" -- or should I say "my really big secret?" Really big because it is getting in the way of what I am attempting here in a big way. Or am I just pretending?
As I was considering that, I began to imagine pictures of me in a state of slimness. Is it true that I could actually shed the excess weight and be slim, or just normal sized? It is almost too much to imagine me as slender, so I confuse the matter with the words "just normal sized." I don't want to be stumped by that. I do know it is possible for me to be slender/normal. Even simply slender. I could have a flat tummy if I just make the right choices, one by one, and every time.
I hope that by doing the "Fat Brain Lies" notebook I will have a little help with this. But I also see that I need to be dedicated. I want to feel that I am dedicated for life. I know me, if I have dedicated myself to a goal, I can reach it. If I can keep that in my sight, believing I can do it, I won't struggle day by day. I will follow the new eating program and that will be the end of it.
I was going to have my "before" notebook pictures taken today, but I messed up on getting there on time, and my friend had to go take care of some family business, so we will get together another time to take the pictures. Maybe I should just move on in the workbook.
Let me just say this. I feel that I am more dedicated right now. I do believe that I can change. I do want to change. The change will do me good.
Be back soon.
--Marcia
Friday, September 17, 2010
Rambling Up and Down
Hi,
I checked my weight today and found I went up about 3 pounds. I knew that I should just weigh myself once a week, but have been seeing a lot of websites that recommend weighing every day. It was not at my usual time and it was also after, instead of before, I had eaten, so I don't know precisely what this means. I'll just stay on the program and keep going.
I've been very happy that my ankles are not swollen even the slightest bit. I keep checking them to make sure I am not seeing things, but they are normal sized and I can see my bones, so things are cool in that department.
I think I might have eaten too much Ezekial bread yesterday and I also had a large grapefruit rather close to going to bed. When I woke in the night with night sweats I knew I had eaten too much stuff that had turned to sugar as I slept, so will have to curtail that department. Especially late in the day like that was.
I've been very pleased with how the new eating program is moving my internal "plumbing" along. I have not been constipated for quite a while and seem to be going, sometimes, up to three or more times in a day. I am wondering how to say that it is no longer "tubular" if you get my drift. It seems to be less "packed" and lots easier to discard. Sorry if that was TMI. I just think that is a sign that this is a better program for the whole body in more ways than were perhaps anticipated. It feels like healing is going on.
I have also been reading that many people who eat raw, soak their nuts and seeds overnight before eating them. I thought about that today and put about a serving size of raw peanuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, and sunflower seeds in enough water to cover them completely. I let them soak for a couple of hours and then tried them out. For starters they are much easier to chew. The water seems to have been soaked up by the nuts and seeds and it has made them somewhat softer, but they still have a bit of crunch to them. The taste was hardly different than when not soaked but I think I actually enjoyed the experience more. I will have to try it "overnight" to see what happens when you soak them for a longer period of time, but, so far, I like the two hour soak, too.
When I was at the Whole Foods market I looked for a package of Chia seeds since my brother, Dan, had sent me some good information on them. They look like they are very nutrient dense and I wanted to try some out. I did not find any at the store. When I was looking for them, I found that they have rather large packages of many other kinds of seeds for sprouting and they don't seem to be very expensive. I was only looking for the Chia so I did not buy any, but I bought two packages of already sprouted broccoli and sunflowers which I have been adding to my salads and sandwiches. They are pretty tasty as greens go.
After soaking the nuts I can see where it might be rather easy to grow my own sprouts from the inexpensive seeds and I am going to try doing that, once I look up how to do it without buying a lot of equipment. I think I used to own a bottle with a "shelf" that had tiny holes in it to hold the seeds kind of above the water but there was something about that that I became disinterested in, so I don't think I pursued that more than once. It was probably just too much trouble. I'll just go online and find out how to sprout things and see what I can find. It has occurred to me that I might be able to reuse the plastic containers that my sprouts came in. If I were to line the bottom with seeds and water and place them in the window, they should, theoretically sprout. Those packages are like tiny terrariums. It couldn't be easier than that. So I shall try that out, even as I search for instructions and other people's experiences. I'll have to go with sunflower seeds to start, because I already have some of those seeds. I think I'll try broccoli sprouts as soon as I get some seeds because those seem to be my favorite. I had read that there is something negative in alfalfa sprouts so I may side step them until I get more information. But would like to try the Chia seeds if I ever get any. I know that beans are easy to sprout.
I may have to buy the Chia seeds online. I have found some sites that seem to be full of information similar to what Dan sent to me. By the way, when I hit reply to thank him for the information, his original e-mail became inaccessible to me. I had wanted to save it to read again later, but it appears to be gone forever. That was in gmail, which I don't really use much, so I wonder if I hit a wrong button or something. I thought I just hit "reply" so I'm a little lost on that one. Anyway the information that he sent me is available from doing a Google search for "Chia seed" and it seems to be one of the true super foods. Most reviews of it, say that it tastes good, but since taste is subjective I'd like to taste it and see. I am wondering how it should be prepared, too. I will be looking that up, also.
One more gross thing. You may want to skip this paragraph if you are sensitive. The soaked seeds and nuts that I just ate seem to have activated my digestive process and I've gone to the bathroom twice since I started blogging today. I figured I would weigh myself to see if that made a difference and I went down nearly 1.5 pounds. So the good news is I only put on 1.5 instead of 3 pounds for today. Ok. Enough of that stuff.
The post today seems to be quite "self absorbed" to say the least. I know that most of them are, but today seems to be really focused on the body functions. Sorry if that has been too much for you. I'd like to remain interesting to my readers, but feel I need to keep reporting my findings on the new Raw Food Program, as candidly as possible too. So... there you are.
By the way, I bought some sprouted beans, but don't know how to eat them. Any ideas? I guess I've got to look that up, too. Going to be busy with research for a while.
May you be blessed this day.
Love you,
Be back soon
--Marcia
I checked my weight today and found I went up about 3 pounds. I knew that I should just weigh myself once a week, but have been seeing a lot of websites that recommend weighing every day. It was not at my usual time and it was also after, instead of before, I had eaten, so I don't know precisely what this means. I'll just stay on the program and keep going.
I've been very happy that my ankles are not swollen even the slightest bit. I keep checking them to make sure I am not seeing things, but they are normal sized and I can see my bones, so things are cool in that department.
I think I might have eaten too much Ezekial bread yesterday and I also had a large grapefruit rather close to going to bed. When I woke in the night with night sweats I knew I had eaten too much stuff that had turned to sugar as I slept, so will have to curtail that department. Especially late in the day like that was.
I've been very pleased with how the new eating program is moving my internal "plumbing" along. I have not been constipated for quite a while and seem to be going, sometimes, up to three or more times in a day. I am wondering how to say that it is no longer "tubular" if you get my drift. It seems to be less "packed" and lots easier to discard. Sorry if that was TMI. I just think that is a sign that this is a better program for the whole body in more ways than were perhaps anticipated. It feels like healing is going on.
I have also been reading that many people who eat raw, soak their nuts and seeds overnight before eating them. I thought about that today and put about a serving size of raw peanuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, and sunflower seeds in enough water to cover them completely. I let them soak for a couple of hours and then tried them out. For starters they are much easier to chew. The water seems to have been soaked up by the nuts and seeds and it has made them somewhat softer, but they still have a bit of crunch to them. The taste was hardly different than when not soaked but I think I actually enjoyed the experience more. I will have to try it "overnight" to see what happens when you soak them for a longer period of time, but, so far, I like the two hour soak, too.
When I was at the Whole Foods market I looked for a package of Chia seeds since my brother, Dan, had sent me some good information on them. They look like they are very nutrient dense and I wanted to try some out. I did not find any at the store. When I was looking for them, I found that they have rather large packages of many other kinds of seeds for sprouting and they don't seem to be very expensive. I was only looking for the Chia so I did not buy any, but I bought two packages of already sprouted broccoli and sunflowers which I have been adding to my salads and sandwiches. They are pretty tasty as greens go.
After soaking the nuts I can see where it might be rather easy to grow my own sprouts from the inexpensive seeds and I am going to try doing that, once I look up how to do it without buying a lot of equipment. I think I used to own a bottle with a "shelf" that had tiny holes in it to hold the seeds kind of above the water but there was something about that that I became disinterested in, so I don't think I pursued that more than once. It was probably just too much trouble. I'll just go online and find out how to sprout things and see what I can find. It has occurred to me that I might be able to reuse the plastic containers that my sprouts came in. If I were to line the bottom with seeds and water and place them in the window, they should, theoretically sprout. Those packages are like tiny terrariums. It couldn't be easier than that. So I shall try that out, even as I search for instructions and other people's experiences. I'll have to go with sunflower seeds to start, because I already have some of those seeds. I think I'll try broccoli sprouts as soon as I get some seeds because those seem to be my favorite. I had read that there is something negative in alfalfa sprouts so I may side step them until I get more information. But would like to try the Chia seeds if I ever get any. I know that beans are easy to sprout.
I may have to buy the Chia seeds online. I have found some sites that seem to be full of information similar to what Dan sent to me. By the way, when I hit reply to thank him for the information, his original e-mail became inaccessible to me. I had wanted to save it to read again later, but it appears to be gone forever. That was in gmail, which I don't really use much, so I wonder if I hit a wrong button or something. I thought I just hit "reply" so I'm a little lost on that one. Anyway the information that he sent me is available from doing a Google search for "Chia seed" and it seems to be one of the true super foods. Most reviews of it, say that it tastes good, but since taste is subjective I'd like to taste it and see. I am wondering how it should be prepared, too. I will be looking that up, also.
One more gross thing. You may want to skip this paragraph if you are sensitive. The soaked seeds and nuts that I just ate seem to have activated my digestive process and I've gone to the bathroom twice since I started blogging today. I figured I would weigh myself to see if that made a difference and I went down nearly 1.5 pounds. So the good news is I only put on 1.5 instead of 3 pounds for today. Ok. Enough of that stuff.
The post today seems to be quite "self absorbed" to say the least. I know that most of them are, but today seems to be really focused on the body functions. Sorry if that has been too much for you. I'd like to remain interesting to my readers, but feel I need to keep reporting my findings on the new Raw Food Program, as candidly as possible too. So... there you are.
By the way, I bought some sprouted beans, but don't know how to eat them. Any ideas? I guess I've got to look that up, too. Going to be busy with research for a while.
May you be blessed this day.
Love you,
Be back soon
--Marcia
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Moving Right Along
Hi,
Well. I just stepped off the scale and I am, for the first time in a very long time, under the 340 mark. Wow. Praise the Lord. It is only under by .25 but it is under. I was not expecting that. I am grateful and my belly is full. I had just eaten half a cucumber, one fourth of a small cauliflower, a few cut up baby carrots and a little feta cheese onto which salad I had sprinkled curry powder, salt, Braggs salt free herbs, and Italian herbs with 1 TBS of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar.
I am trying out the vinegar again, but in very small doses. If you have read through my previous posts you know that I had gotten red spots on my feet from eating that vinegar in somewhat large quantities on a daily basis. It took a long time for those spots to disappear, but they have been gone for a long time, now, and I thought it might be OK to try it out again, but only in measured doses and not very often.
The curry powder is a concoction of my own, since I cannot find the brand that I like (Astor) and I can now taste the cloves in my mouth. I love to smell them, and don't mind the after taste, but am wondering what is up with that. Maybe I put too much in. But... I do know they have a lot of good antioxidants, just like cinnamon and nutmeg, so do not think that is a real problem. So far.
As far as the craving notebook goes, I don't have much written down in it yet. The times that I am overeating -- which has not affected the weight loss, so maybe it is not overeating (?). Perhaps for now I should just call it, eating more than my brain thinks I should -- seem to come on so suddenly that I have not been able to capture what leads up to it. It usually takes the form of a picture in my head rather than a verbal statement of some kind. That I can tell. I am trying to pay attention so I can learn what goes on there.
Today, I absently ate a slice of cheese for a "getting up snack," (since I had been eating it last week and lost so much weight, I figured it would be OK to continue. Same with the Ezekial bread.) I am not so much a follower of "The Raw Food Regimen" as one who is trying that out to see if I lose weight doing that. My goal is losing weight in a healthy manner. I figured that if I ate a particular kind of healthy food and was satisfied, and also lost weight, that is good and the direction that I should continue in, until it does not work, anymore, if that happens. So I have basically re-incorporated a few of the items that I thought I would have to get rid of -- based totally on the fact that I lost 7.5 pounds while eating them. And am still thinking that is more like the 30 Day Diabetes Cure than not, except that I am not eating much meat at all.
So. On "Marcia's Raw Food Program" I can have any vegetable I want in any quantity I want at any time I want as long as I eat it in the RAW state. So I eat a lot of salads and am getting creative with them. I also make sure that if I eat a peanut butter sandwich, which I like, that I put veggies of some kind on it. I now prefer them with Romaine lettuce or broccoli sprouts. I also include apples, raw dates, raw nuts and seeds, the sliced American cheese, feta cheese, Ezekial bread, and butter on my program. I have some tuna fish from time to time. I also eat chicken from time to time, although, I have not had any chicken this week. I have no idea what the percentage of raw food is that I am eating, but what I am doing is working, so I shall not rock the boat. Amen.
Back to the notebook, which has no entries, yet. This afternoon, when I next ate, I noticed a sudden feeling of hunger. I think it was hunger based on the fact that I had not eaten much before that and it would be reasonable to think that the feeling was hunger. I could feel it in my mouth, down to my stomach, a feeling of some kind that I do not have a name for. I am calling it hunger for the lack of a better word. As I described it, the feeling came upon me again, but I know my belly also feels full, since I just ate. I am a little confused at this point in time, but still observing.
I am thinking that if I am ever going to be able to tell the freight train from actual hunger I will need to pay attention and check these things out. Perhaps my first step should be simply writing down what I experience just before I eat. Maybe that way I will be able to begin to tell the difference. I suddenly got another feeling of "belly full." Wow. This is so strange.
That is one of the things that differs for the food addict. Other kinds of addictions can be gotten over by simply walking away and not doing them ever again. But a person has to eat every day, still. So with that, so far, it looks like you have to actually begin eating right, and then begin to learn how to stay on the right track. I say that, simply because that is what I have done. I think Carlene's workbook -- called "Fat Brain Lies" available at http://www.carlenejones.com/ for $9.95 -- covers this topic of being able to tell the difference between hunger and craving, but I need to finish my assignments for the first chapter before moving on.
Frankly, I had just put it aside and not looked at the assignment since reading it last time, but I just read it again and found this interesting thing:
6. The next time you eat your favorite food, ask yourself is this really worth not being able to do x, y, or z. Take note of how often you say yes, and how often you put the food away.
That I can do as part of my notebook work. I think I shall start there and see what happens.
I have only a little time before I have to get ready for Bible Study and want to get in a little exercise, so I shall end for now. But you know, I will be back soon. Keep on keeping on, friends. You can find what you are looking for if you just keep looking. I think I may have found what works for me. May you be blessed to find what works for you.
Love you,
Marcia
Well. I just stepped off the scale and I am, for the first time in a very long time, under the 340 mark. Wow. Praise the Lord. It is only under by .25 but it is under. I was not expecting that. I am grateful and my belly is full. I had just eaten half a cucumber, one fourth of a small cauliflower, a few cut up baby carrots and a little feta cheese onto which salad I had sprinkled curry powder, salt, Braggs salt free herbs, and Italian herbs with 1 TBS of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar.
I am trying out the vinegar again, but in very small doses. If you have read through my previous posts you know that I had gotten red spots on my feet from eating that vinegar in somewhat large quantities on a daily basis. It took a long time for those spots to disappear, but they have been gone for a long time, now, and I thought it might be OK to try it out again, but only in measured doses and not very often.
The curry powder is a concoction of my own, since I cannot find the brand that I like (Astor) and I can now taste the cloves in my mouth. I love to smell them, and don't mind the after taste, but am wondering what is up with that. Maybe I put too much in. But... I do know they have a lot of good antioxidants, just like cinnamon and nutmeg, so do not think that is a real problem. So far.
As far as the craving notebook goes, I don't have much written down in it yet. The times that I am overeating -- which has not affected the weight loss, so maybe it is not overeating (?). Perhaps for now I should just call it, eating more than my brain thinks I should -- seem to come on so suddenly that I have not been able to capture what leads up to it. It usually takes the form of a picture in my head rather than a verbal statement of some kind. That I can tell. I am trying to pay attention so I can learn what goes on there.
Today, I absently ate a slice of cheese for a "getting up snack," (since I had been eating it last week and lost so much weight, I figured it would be OK to continue. Same with the Ezekial bread.) I am not so much a follower of "The Raw Food Regimen" as one who is trying that out to see if I lose weight doing that. My goal is losing weight in a healthy manner. I figured that if I ate a particular kind of healthy food and was satisfied, and also lost weight, that is good and the direction that I should continue in, until it does not work, anymore, if that happens. So I have basically re-incorporated a few of the items that I thought I would have to get rid of -- based totally on the fact that I lost 7.5 pounds while eating them. And am still thinking that is more like the 30 Day Diabetes Cure than not, except that I am not eating much meat at all.
So. On "Marcia's Raw Food Program" I can have any vegetable I want in any quantity I want at any time I want as long as I eat it in the RAW state. So I eat a lot of salads and am getting creative with them. I also make sure that if I eat a peanut butter sandwich, which I like, that I put veggies of some kind on it. I now prefer them with Romaine lettuce or broccoli sprouts. I also include apples, raw dates, raw nuts and seeds, the sliced American cheese, feta cheese, Ezekial bread, and butter on my program. I have some tuna fish from time to time. I also eat chicken from time to time, although, I have not had any chicken this week. I have no idea what the percentage of raw food is that I am eating, but what I am doing is working, so I shall not rock the boat. Amen.
Back to the notebook, which has no entries, yet. This afternoon, when I next ate, I noticed a sudden feeling of hunger. I think it was hunger based on the fact that I had not eaten much before that and it would be reasonable to think that the feeling was hunger. I could feel it in my mouth, down to my stomach, a feeling of some kind that I do not have a name for. I am calling it hunger for the lack of a better word. As I described it, the feeling came upon me again, but I know my belly also feels full, since I just ate. I am a little confused at this point in time, but still observing.
I am thinking that if I am ever going to be able to tell the freight train from actual hunger I will need to pay attention and check these things out. Perhaps my first step should be simply writing down what I experience just before I eat. Maybe that way I will be able to begin to tell the difference. I suddenly got another feeling of "belly full." Wow. This is so strange.
That is one of the things that differs for the food addict. Other kinds of addictions can be gotten over by simply walking away and not doing them ever again. But a person has to eat every day, still. So with that, so far, it looks like you have to actually begin eating right, and then begin to learn how to stay on the right track. I say that, simply because that is what I have done. I think Carlene's workbook -- called "Fat Brain Lies" available at http://www.carlenejones.com/ for $9.95 -- covers this topic of being able to tell the difference between hunger and craving, but I need to finish my assignments for the first chapter before moving on.
Frankly, I had just put it aside and not looked at the assignment since reading it last time, but I just read it again and found this interesting thing:
6. The next time you eat your favorite food, ask yourself is this really worth not being able to do x, y, or z. Take note of how often you say yes, and how often you put the food away.
That I can do as part of my notebook work. I think I shall start there and see what happens.
I have only a little time before I have to get ready for Bible Study and want to get in a little exercise, so I shall end for now. But you know, I will be back soon. Keep on keeping on, friends. You can find what you are looking for if you just keep looking. I think I may have found what works for me. May you be blessed to find what works for you.
Love you,
Marcia
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Practice Makes Perfect
Hi.
The first thing you run into when you try something new is nearly always failure of some sort. That is why you have to realize that you are practicing and through the failures you can begin to get things right by not letting that stop you. Just get up and go again in the right direction.
Yesterday I really got inspired to apply my skills to a new arena. I have all the theories down right, I think. I have had success in other areas with them and am starting to apply them to the food arena. Then in the evening the freight train started. In this phase I am learning how to stop the freight train, but you can't stop the freight train, until you begin to recognize it. Mine was an overwhelming desire to have another sandwich after I had just eaten one. I saw the thoughts which showed up as pictures in my mind of the next sandwich I wanted. I felt the desire in my body and noticed it. In the past, I have been the victim of these thoughts, and I had never stopped them before. Even as they came up this time, I felt I had no choice, as I went out and prepared and ate the second sandwich. I saw myself decide and also saw myself feeling powerless against it. I also felt embarrassed after all that I had blogged about that very day.
Looking back from here, I can begin to see what happened and also begin lay the plan for stopping the train of thought. At this point in time, I am only noticing it after it has gone down the track to the "I'm powerless over this craving feeling so I must obey it." If I begin to notice the mile stones on the track, then I can begin to put the breaks on before it gets to the "I'm powerless over this picture in my head, so I have to eat this" point. I remember the technique that I used to help me get over my other obsession with depression and anxiety, which I used to feel powerless over. It was a note book. Whenever I would have a feeling (a result) that made me feel bad, I would look back at the previous thought to see what it was, and write that down. Then step two was to point out where the thinking was flawed, and step three was to replace it with truth that lead in a better direction. I think I need to do that for at least a week to see how my thinking is working in this arena. I used to carry a small notebook with me everywhere and write things down as they occurred. I can see that I must do that again with these thoughts, too, if I am ever going to conquer them. To conquer means to have power over. I am not powerless over what I do with my thoughts.
I am happy to be in this spot. Beginning is a good place to be. I trust that the Lord will show me the way. He did before, I know He will help me again. So I will begin to write things down in my notebook and let you know how it is going.
If someone else wants to try the same things with me, here are the steps to try it out:
1. You have a craving and notice that you have a craving. (Before you eat is better, but it will work after wards if it gets that far, too. Just admit where you are.)
2. Write down what you were thinking just before you got the craving. It will be one clearly discernible thought that needs to be written down as closely as possible to the way it was said in your head. (I will give examples, once I start finding out what mine are.)
3. Notice if there is anything that is not really true in the statement. It may be something that someone said to you a long time ago, that made you feel bad. It may not be that. Whatever it is, write it down as a simple statement just as you said it to yourself.
4. Replace any lies you see in the statement with truth that supports your life and your new program now. I like to use Scriptures to help me put it into words better. Any truthful statement that leads you in a better direction is what we are looking for.
In the beginning, it won't be easy, but it will get easier if you just do it. You don't have to share your notebook with anyone at all, so you can say anything no matter how silly or embarrassing it might be. The closer you can come to the actual statement or thought that you had the better this will work. If you only get a picture, then describe the picture. Make sure you use clear and simple details of what happened in the picture or scene. Don't embellish or go off on tangents. "Just the facts, ma'am" as Jack Webb used to say. Just say, first I saw this, then this happened, then that happened. Do not editorialize. Again, do not editorialize. You simply want to take a look at what you actually were thinking without judging it.
Step two. Notice the flaws in the thinking. Point out any thing that is impossible. Notice any statements that are simply not true. No editorializing. Just write down the things that are not absolutely true. You will find there are lies of some kind embedded in the pictures or thoughts that you had. What are they? Write that down as simply and plainly as you can.
Step three, now write down what the truth is. Write down what God has to say on the subject. Write down something that assuages your soul and helps you to feel good about yourself, and where you would like to be. Replace those thoughts with whatever is the truth that combats the lie you had previously noticed.
I looked through my notebook and discovered that I soon was able to leave out writing down step two and just included it in step three, but I am not there yet with this one. I am not sure yet what my thoughts were before the craving set in, or how it happened. I am just trying out this system and if it needs to be different to be effective in this arena, I am trusting that the Lord will show me the way.
Leave a comment and let me know if you have success with doing this or have questions. Remember: the truth will set you free.
Be back soon
--Marcia
The first thing you run into when you try something new is nearly always failure of some sort. That is why you have to realize that you are practicing and through the failures you can begin to get things right by not letting that stop you. Just get up and go again in the right direction.
Yesterday I really got inspired to apply my skills to a new arena. I have all the theories down right, I think. I have had success in other areas with them and am starting to apply them to the food arena. Then in the evening the freight train started. In this phase I am learning how to stop the freight train, but you can't stop the freight train, until you begin to recognize it. Mine was an overwhelming desire to have another sandwich after I had just eaten one. I saw the thoughts which showed up as pictures in my mind of the next sandwich I wanted. I felt the desire in my body and noticed it. In the past, I have been the victim of these thoughts, and I had never stopped them before. Even as they came up this time, I felt I had no choice, as I went out and prepared and ate the second sandwich. I saw myself decide and also saw myself feeling powerless against it. I also felt embarrassed after all that I had blogged about that very day.
Looking back from here, I can begin to see what happened and also begin lay the plan for stopping the train of thought. At this point in time, I am only noticing it after it has gone down the track to the "I'm powerless over this craving feeling so I must obey it." If I begin to notice the mile stones on the track, then I can begin to put the breaks on before it gets to the "I'm powerless over this picture in my head, so I have to eat this" point. I remember the technique that I used to help me get over my other obsession with depression and anxiety, which I used to feel powerless over. It was a note book. Whenever I would have a feeling (a result) that made me feel bad, I would look back at the previous thought to see what it was, and write that down. Then step two was to point out where the thinking was flawed, and step three was to replace it with truth that lead in a better direction. I think I need to do that for at least a week to see how my thinking is working in this arena. I used to carry a small notebook with me everywhere and write things down as they occurred. I can see that I must do that again with these thoughts, too, if I am ever going to conquer them. To conquer means to have power over. I am not powerless over what I do with my thoughts.
I am happy to be in this spot. Beginning is a good place to be. I trust that the Lord will show me the way. He did before, I know He will help me again. So I will begin to write things down in my notebook and let you know how it is going.
If someone else wants to try the same things with me, here are the steps to try it out:
1. You have a craving and notice that you have a craving. (Before you eat is better, but it will work after wards if it gets that far, too. Just admit where you are.)
2. Write down what you were thinking just before you got the craving. It will be one clearly discernible thought that needs to be written down as closely as possible to the way it was said in your head. (I will give examples, once I start finding out what mine are.)
3. Notice if there is anything that is not really true in the statement. It may be something that someone said to you a long time ago, that made you feel bad. It may not be that. Whatever it is, write it down as a simple statement just as you said it to yourself.
4. Replace any lies you see in the statement with truth that supports your life and your new program now. I like to use Scriptures to help me put it into words better. Any truthful statement that leads you in a better direction is what we are looking for.
In the beginning, it won't be easy, but it will get easier if you just do it. You don't have to share your notebook with anyone at all, so you can say anything no matter how silly or embarrassing it might be. The closer you can come to the actual statement or thought that you had the better this will work. If you only get a picture, then describe the picture. Make sure you use clear and simple details of what happened in the picture or scene. Don't embellish or go off on tangents. "Just the facts, ma'am" as Jack Webb used to say. Just say, first I saw this, then this happened, then that happened. Do not editorialize. Again, do not editorialize. You simply want to take a look at what you actually were thinking without judging it.
Step two. Notice the flaws in the thinking. Point out any thing that is impossible. Notice any statements that are simply not true. No editorializing. Just write down the things that are not absolutely true. You will find there are lies of some kind embedded in the pictures or thoughts that you had. What are they? Write that down as simply and plainly as you can.
Step three, now write down what the truth is. Write down what God has to say on the subject. Write down something that assuages your soul and helps you to feel good about yourself, and where you would like to be. Replace those thoughts with whatever is the truth that combats the lie you had previously noticed.
I looked through my notebook and discovered that I soon was able to leave out writing down step two and just included it in step three, but I am not there yet with this one. I am not sure yet what my thoughts were before the craving set in, or how it happened. I am just trying out this system and if it needs to be different to be effective in this arena, I am trusting that the Lord will show me the way.
Leave a comment and let me know if you have success with doing this or have questions. Remember: the truth will set you free.
Be back soon
--Marcia
Monday, September 13, 2010
Leading Thoughts
Howdy Folks!
I have been spending a lot of time at the websites of Carlene Jones who is an Obesity Fat Coach. She, herself, lost 136 pounds in 2006, and kept it off, and has helped others to do the same. I am really impressed with her ideas and how she does things. I have downloaded her book "Fat Brain Lies" and am very pleased with what she is teaching me. This is a workbook to help you get your mindset straightened out. It will help you look at how you think and help prepare you to actually follow your program and stay on it. We don't have to continue to fail at losing weight!
I have completed the first chapter, and have some assignments to do before I go on to the next chapter. Based on what I have seen so far, I am recommending that if you are one hundred or more pounds over weight, like I am, she has good stuff to offer. Even if you have somewhat less to lose, if you know you are addicted to food, and are headed in the obesity direction right now, or have a really hard time losing weight and have a strong desire to do something about it (especially if you have given up on diets and are considering drastic measures like surgery), you may want to check it out before doing something extreme. There is actual help there. Here is the link: http://www.carlenejones.com/
As I have been reading her website I started thinking about a new friend with whom I have just started doing a Bible Study. I recognize the circular thinking patterns that she is displaying, from my own past. I used to do that too, and understand how trapped that can make you feel. And as I was reading some of Carlene's stuff on her web site, I began thinking about my friend, and how I might coach her to begin to incorporate new thinking patterns. As I was considering how to coach my friend from my own experience in that area and was practicing in my mind how to approach it I began to pretend to share with her what I do to direct my thinking to better conclusions and actions.
One of the things I used to do was have thoughts that continually lead to the same place and I rode them like they were a freight train. And just like a freight train they always lead to the same conclusion. That conclusion always made me feel sad, depressed, and even sometimes anxious. So what my thinking was doing was making me depressed. Now I remember where I learned about how to get off the freight train. It was from partially doing the course "Attacking Anxiety and Depression" at the Midwest Center created by Lucinda Bassett. Here is the link if you are interested: http://www.stresscenter.com/mwc/the-program/
It is a whole program but I began to feel free of the problem after I did the fifth session so I never went on. Oddly enough, I think session six is about eating. When I took a look at it, it was the "same old story" so I walked away from that, knowing that had never worked for me. But I learned a lot from the first five sessions about how to direct my thinking and have used it ever since when I see myself getting on the freight train. Sometimes I don't recognize it until I am already on the train, but it does not matter, you can get off the train anywhere.
I do it by first recognizing the train and knowing where it is headed. If you don't want to go to that conclusion for the umpteenth time, stop the train. Then, in order to keep from getting back on the train, I use a statement of faith in God, Who He is, What He has done, and His love for me. For me, that often takes the form of a little scriptural song that I sing to myself based on Proverbs 3:5-6 (Trust in the LORD with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; In all of your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall make your paths straight.) The song goes on to say, "Don't worry about tomorrow, He's got it under control, Trust in the Lord, with all your heart, and He will carry you through." Once I sing that, my soul is assuaged, and I move out in trust, feeling better, remembering Who is taking care of me, and how trustworthy He is, and how completely good He is, and how infinite He is. And best of all, how He never changes! Glory to God! Praise the Lord!! Thank you Jesus!!
It has dawned on me that I had not applied what I knew to the "food" area of my brain. I do remember in the past that the Lord showed me that the two obsessions I had were identical -- and He did this over and over again -- but I did not think to apply what I had learned about thinking to the food arena. But after doing the first chapter of Carlene's book, and thinking about the commitment I made there, it has dawned on me that I can apply my skills to this area, too. I just needed to be pointed in the right direction.
As I thought about trying to explain it I realized that thinking always leads either to a conclusion or an action. I wondered if they ever lead to anything else that I had not thought of. I considered "decisions" because thinking leads to decisions, but a decision is an action. So, it seems that thoughts lead to either conclusions or actions. I soon realized that to be more accurate I should probably say, "Thinking always leads to both a conclusion and an action." Our actions are always based on our conclusions. If the conclusion is about the self, it will lead to how you feel about yourself. The feeling is the action or result. The current feeling is always based on the previous thought. Well that is where I began to realize that, in the food arena, the thinking always leads to what I put in my mouth. Do you see the similarity? Obesity is really about thinking patterns. I have never eaten a thing without some sort of thought about it, just before I ate it. If I were to pay attention to these thoughts, I could begin to replace them, and lead me in a better more healthy direction.
Among the first questions you have to answer in Carlene's workbook are what are "Your Top 3 Favorite Fattening Foods." She says she will use this information later in the workbook, then immediately asks you to make a list of what things you have sacrificed for your Obesity. (By the way, this information is all in the free part of the book that you can download at: http://www.carlenejones.com/). She then lists things that she gave up, things that others have given up because of being Obese, and gives you the opportunity to think about that and list what you have given up for the "cause." I came up with six things that I had given up, such as:
--I do not travel by air because the seats are too small and uncomfortable, I always lop over and crowd the person next to me, and don't like having to shout across the cabin that I need a seat belt extender.
--I don't go to crowded places because there is not enough room for me to stand or sit comfortably -- there is not enough space -- and I don't like bumping into people and getting that "You fat pig, watch where you are going" look.
--I only drive to places in my own car because it is too embarrassing to try to fit into other people's "cars for little people" and then not be able to fasten the seat belt
--I make sure there is an extra seat next to me at church to lay my Bible on because I don't have a lap. That way I can open it during the sermon and follow along with the preacher. I don't like that I cannot sit next to someone and chat because of my stuff.
--I won't apply for an Administrative Assistant job because I do not fit the professional picture they are looking for and I don't have any professional looking clothes to wear, anyway
--I don't go swimming because I no longer have a swim suit that fits me
After writing those things down, I noticed she did not have a space to put what you would have if you were not Obese (I capitalize Obese to make the "O" really big and emphasize the word). So I wrote to the side that if I were thin or normal sized I would:
--Go on a trip by airplane to visit my family
--Slip through crowds easily
--Ride in any size car
--Put a book in my lap
--Apply for any job I wanted
--Swim often
--Go to a gym
Later in the workbook (still within the free section) there is a place where Carlene asks some pointed questions. They are not for her, they are for you. If you answer the questions honestly, you will begin to see whether you really want to lose weight and are ready to do the work, or if you are just wishing. Neither one of those is a crime. It is just that, if you are "wishing" then you might as well stop doing the workbook for now and pick it up later when you are ready to do the work. If it comes out that you are really ready, then she asks you if you would be willing to give up your third top favorite fattening food in order to be thin. I decided I am ready. My third top favorite food is "macaroni and cheese." I made the commitment to never again, in my lifetime, eat macaroni and cheese. And then I began to think about that.
I gotta tell you, even though I don't really eat that very often, it is one of the things that I would purchase when I was planning on falling off the wagon. I actually felt a little frightened. I had that sudden little intake of breath when I realized I had promised never to ever do that again. Wow. I even wondered if I could do it. As I went on in the workbook I began to think about why I would be doing it. I now have two things connected in my brain. If I don't ever eat macaroni and cheese again, I can have a lap. I can ask myself: Which do you want? A moment of macaroni and cheese, or a life time lap that you can use anytime you want to? With a lap you can hold a child, or read a book in comfort. It kind of boils down to: Do I want to exchange a moment of sick pleasure in the mouth, for a lifetime of satisfaction in being thin? It is not a sacrifice when you realize what you can get from foregoing a small sick pleasure for a much larger and longer lasting satisfaction. Wow. Exchange sick pleasure for healthy satisfaction. Exchange self indulgence for new life.
I realized there is a little "pocket" of pleasure foods that I have exchanged for Obesity. It is always the same things. I believe I can now, open that pocket up and dump out the candy and ice cream, too. There was always that reserved area. One that, when I wanted to, I could resort to those foods to make me feel better for a short time. I did not do it often. But had magical thinking in that area, too. I now see that that little pocket of items only serves to keep me Obese. The only way for me to get rid of Obesity is to clean out the pocket of junk. I can exchange them for thinness. Whoo! Hooo!
Her workbook is good. Try it out. It is called "Fat Brain Lies" By Carlene Jones, and you can find it here: http://www.carlenejones.com/
God bless you in your search and your life. I'm right here, come and visit often. Leave a comment if you wish.
Be back soon
--Marcia
I have been spending a lot of time at the websites of Carlene Jones who is an Obesity Fat Coach. She, herself, lost 136 pounds in 2006, and kept it off, and has helped others to do the same. I am really impressed with her ideas and how she does things. I have downloaded her book "Fat Brain Lies" and am very pleased with what she is teaching me. This is a workbook to help you get your mindset straightened out. It will help you look at how you think and help prepare you to actually follow your program and stay on it. We don't have to continue to fail at losing weight!
I have completed the first chapter, and have some assignments to do before I go on to the next chapter. Based on what I have seen so far, I am recommending that if you are one hundred or more pounds over weight, like I am, she has good stuff to offer. Even if you have somewhat less to lose, if you know you are addicted to food, and are headed in the obesity direction right now, or have a really hard time losing weight and have a strong desire to do something about it (especially if you have given up on diets and are considering drastic measures like surgery), you may want to check it out before doing something extreme. There is actual help there. Here is the link: http://www.carlenejones.com/
As I have been reading her website I started thinking about a new friend with whom I have just started doing a Bible Study. I recognize the circular thinking patterns that she is displaying, from my own past. I used to do that too, and understand how trapped that can make you feel. And as I was reading some of Carlene's stuff on her web site, I began thinking about my friend, and how I might coach her to begin to incorporate new thinking patterns. As I was considering how to coach my friend from my own experience in that area and was practicing in my mind how to approach it I began to pretend to share with her what I do to direct my thinking to better conclusions and actions.
One of the things I used to do was have thoughts that continually lead to the same place and I rode them like they were a freight train. And just like a freight train they always lead to the same conclusion. That conclusion always made me feel sad, depressed, and even sometimes anxious. So what my thinking was doing was making me depressed. Now I remember where I learned about how to get off the freight train. It was from partially doing the course "Attacking Anxiety and Depression" at the Midwest Center created by Lucinda Bassett. Here is the link if you are interested: http://www.stresscenter.com/mwc/the-program/
It is a whole program but I began to feel free of the problem after I did the fifth session so I never went on. Oddly enough, I think session six is about eating. When I took a look at it, it was the "same old story" so I walked away from that, knowing that had never worked for me. But I learned a lot from the first five sessions about how to direct my thinking and have used it ever since when I see myself getting on the freight train. Sometimes I don't recognize it until I am already on the train, but it does not matter, you can get off the train anywhere.
I do it by first recognizing the train and knowing where it is headed. If you don't want to go to that conclusion for the umpteenth time, stop the train. Then, in order to keep from getting back on the train, I use a statement of faith in God, Who He is, What He has done, and His love for me. For me, that often takes the form of a little scriptural song that I sing to myself based on Proverbs 3:5-6 (Trust in the LORD with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; In all of your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall make your paths straight.) The song goes on to say, "Don't worry about tomorrow, He's got it under control, Trust in the Lord, with all your heart, and He will carry you through." Once I sing that, my soul is assuaged, and I move out in trust, feeling better, remembering Who is taking care of me, and how trustworthy He is, and how completely good He is, and how infinite He is. And best of all, how He never changes! Glory to God! Praise the Lord!! Thank you Jesus!!
It has dawned on me that I had not applied what I knew to the "food" area of my brain. I do remember in the past that the Lord showed me that the two obsessions I had were identical -- and He did this over and over again -- but I did not think to apply what I had learned about thinking to the food arena. But after doing the first chapter of Carlene's book, and thinking about the commitment I made there, it has dawned on me that I can apply my skills to this area, too. I just needed to be pointed in the right direction.
As I thought about trying to explain it I realized that thinking always leads either to a conclusion or an action. I wondered if they ever lead to anything else that I had not thought of. I considered "decisions" because thinking leads to decisions, but a decision is an action. So, it seems that thoughts lead to either conclusions or actions. I soon realized that to be more accurate I should probably say, "Thinking always leads to both a conclusion and an action." Our actions are always based on our conclusions. If the conclusion is about the self, it will lead to how you feel about yourself. The feeling is the action or result. The current feeling is always based on the previous thought. Well that is where I began to realize that, in the food arena, the thinking always leads to what I put in my mouth. Do you see the similarity? Obesity is really about thinking patterns. I have never eaten a thing without some sort of thought about it, just before I ate it. If I were to pay attention to these thoughts, I could begin to replace them, and lead me in a better more healthy direction.
Among the first questions you have to answer in Carlene's workbook are what are "Your Top 3 Favorite Fattening Foods." She says she will use this information later in the workbook, then immediately asks you to make a list of what things you have sacrificed for your Obesity. (By the way, this information is all in the free part of the book that you can download at: http://www.carlenejones.com/). She then lists things that she gave up, things that others have given up because of being Obese, and gives you the opportunity to think about that and list what you have given up for the "cause." I came up with six things that I had given up, such as:
--I do not travel by air because the seats are too small and uncomfortable, I always lop over and crowd the person next to me, and don't like having to shout across the cabin that I need a seat belt extender.
--I don't go to crowded places because there is not enough room for me to stand or sit comfortably -- there is not enough space -- and I don't like bumping into people and getting that "You fat pig, watch where you are going" look.
--I only drive to places in my own car because it is too embarrassing to try to fit into other people's "cars for little people" and then not be able to fasten the seat belt
--I make sure there is an extra seat next to me at church to lay my Bible on because I don't have a lap. That way I can open it during the sermon and follow along with the preacher. I don't like that I cannot sit next to someone and chat because of my stuff.
--I won't apply for an Administrative Assistant job because I do not fit the professional picture they are looking for and I don't have any professional looking clothes to wear, anyway
--I don't go swimming because I no longer have a swim suit that fits me
After writing those things down, I noticed she did not have a space to put what you would have if you were not Obese (I capitalize Obese to make the "O" really big and emphasize the word). So I wrote to the side that if I were thin or normal sized I would:
--Go on a trip by airplane to visit my family
--Slip through crowds easily
--Ride in any size car
--Put a book in my lap
--Apply for any job I wanted
--Swim often
--Go to a gym
Later in the workbook (still within the free section) there is a place where Carlene asks some pointed questions. They are not for her, they are for you. If you answer the questions honestly, you will begin to see whether you really want to lose weight and are ready to do the work, or if you are just wishing. Neither one of those is a crime. It is just that, if you are "wishing" then you might as well stop doing the workbook for now and pick it up later when you are ready to do the work. If it comes out that you are really ready, then she asks you if you would be willing to give up your third top favorite fattening food in order to be thin. I decided I am ready. My third top favorite food is "macaroni and cheese." I made the commitment to never again, in my lifetime, eat macaroni and cheese. And then I began to think about that.
I gotta tell you, even though I don't really eat that very often, it is one of the things that I would purchase when I was planning on falling off the wagon. I actually felt a little frightened. I had that sudden little intake of breath when I realized I had promised never to ever do that again. Wow. I even wondered if I could do it. As I went on in the workbook I began to think about why I would be doing it. I now have two things connected in my brain. If I don't ever eat macaroni and cheese again, I can have a lap. I can ask myself: Which do you want? A moment of macaroni and cheese, or a life time lap that you can use anytime you want to? With a lap you can hold a child, or read a book in comfort. It kind of boils down to: Do I want to exchange a moment of sick pleasure in the mouth, for a lifetime of satisfaction in being thin? It is not a sacrifice when you realize what you can get from foregoing a small sick pleasure for a much larger and longer lasting satisfaction. Wow. Exchange sick pleasure for healthy satisfaction. Exchange self indulgence for new life.
I realized there is a little "pocket" of pleasure foods that I have exchanged for Obesity. It is always the same things. I believe I can now, open that pocket up and dump out the candy and ice cream, too. There was always that reserved area. One that, when I wanted to, I could resort to those foods to make me feel better for a short time. I did not do it often. But had magical thinking in that area, too. I now see that that little pocket of items only serves to keep me Obese. The only way for me to get rid of Obesity is to clean out the pocket of junk. I can exchange them for thinness. Whoo! Hooo!
Her workbook is good. Try it out. It is called "Fat Brain Lies" By Carlene Jones, and you can find it here: http://www.carlenejones.com/
God bless you in your search and your life. I'm right here, come and visit often. Leave a comment if you wish.
Be back soon
--Marcia
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Today is the DAY!!
Blood Pressure: 136/84
Blood Sugar: 117 after breakfast which was a hard boiled egg, two tufts of raw broccoli, couple of tablespoons of raw sunflower seeds -- hunger completely satisfied!)
Weight: 340.5 (Loss of 7.5 lbs this week)
Yippee!! All are down!!
Nothing feels as good as success!!
Hi,
I was completely surprised this morning when I got on the scale and found that I had lost 7.5 pounds! As you know I have been getting rid of the dairy products, roasted mixed nuts, peanut butter, and sprouted whole grain bread, (by eating them) but I have also been eating raw almonds and peanuts, raw sunflower and pumpkin seeds, spinach, Romaine, small gala apples, raw dates, cucumbers and tomatoes (all raw and uncooked in any way) as kind of a lead in, or get ready for, today. I was practicing and seeing what it was like and how I felt about it. I have noticed that I am feeling satisfied with the raw food, also. I'm not having the great cravings or hunger pangs and am happy with very small portions -- but I have a little more veggies if my body wants more. My body seems to be responding very well to this change. Thank God!!
I decided to weigh myself this morning so I have a "starting point" for the raw food adventure upon which I am embarking today. I was completely surprised to have to move the slider on the scale to the left -- meaning less weight. (I bought one of those doctor's scales online a few years ago that weighs up to 400 lbs, so I could know how much I weigh. I think it was only in the neighborhood of $150-200 at the time, and I am glad I have it. My friends often ask if they can weigh themselves on it. I leave the room and let them check that out privately.)
The bread and sliced cheese disappeared early in the week, along with the peanut butter. I find that I like the Ezekial bread with butter, peanut butter, and raw broccoli sprouts -- sometimes I add avocado and Romaine, too. It is very tasty. Since I thought of myself as "in between" diets, I also had about three toasted cheese sandwiches, which I had not had for years. I was still eating dairy products up until yesterday, and still have one half a tube of goat cheese to go -- probably about an ounce, so I am not going to worry with that, I'll just eat it. I am including Feta cheese on my program so I still have some of that. And I lost weight eating all those things. Hmmm. That sounds more like the program on the 30 Day Diabetes Cure. Hmmm.
I had already noticed that I did not have the low back pain, when I got up this morning. What a blessing that was. I had gotten a set of stretching exercises from my doctor and did them for the past few days and this morning I had no back pain. I also changed the angle of the chair at the computer to hold me more upright and started using a back support on the recliner when I am sitting upright to read my Bible. I am trying to pay attention as I type to my posture so I correct it whenever I notice me slumping. I try to sit relaxed but erect and it seems to have helped. I used to kind of hunch over the keyboard but that ends up being very painful after a while, and is not good for the herniated disk in my neck, either.
If what happened today is any indication, I think this may be the final adjustment in WHAT to eat. I shall continue and see what happens next week, too, although it will be more strictly raw veggies, fruit, nuts, and seeds with a little tuna, salmon, sardines (maybe), hard boiled egg, and Feta cheese. My doctor said it would be OK to have some homemade chicken soup from time to time, also. I have started programs and done very well in losing weight the first week, but it will be the second and third week of doing the same thing that really will be the markers for me. I don't think I have anything to worry about, but will still wait and see. And I need to remind me that I have not actually considered this last week to be the "first week" since I was eating at least 50 percent processed (dairy) or cooked food (Ezekial bread). That was just me "practicing!" Wow.
In the past, any weight loss program has always been successful in the first week and then things settle down to a slow even steady weight loss. That is, if it is working. As I have shared before, in recent years I have ended up gaining weight on some programs. The Six Week Body Makeover was like that for me. And when I started to count calories last month, I went crazy and put weight on, too. But this raw food thing... I am hoping it works for me and so far it seems to be.
As I said in a previous post I have been looking online for raw food information and programs and one of my readers ("C") left a link to this site:
http://www.rawfoodbootcamp.com/
Since I am short on cash (unemployed) I am not joining this group just yet ($49 a month) -- but I may join when I get a little extra. I think that if someone can afford it, this might be a good thing to try out. There is a PDF available there for about ten dollars called Carlene's "Fat Brain Lies." It is a 132 page workbook to help you change your mindset before you start any kind of a diet program -- and you can read the first 25 pages for free. From what I have read so far (only one or two pages and glanced through it) it makes real good sense to me. Check it out, if you are interested. I have signed up for their e-mail from "ObeseMe" and am looking forward to the first one.
I love you, my readers, and am happy for you today. I hope your program is working for you and please know that you are not alone in the struggle. God will show you the way, if you trust Him. Look what He has done for me!! Thank you Jesus!!
Be back soon
--Marcia
P.S. Pray for the families of the more than 3,000 who lost their lives on this date. They still miss their loved ones. God bless!
Blood Sugar: 117 after breakfast which was a hard boiled egg, two tufts of raw broccoli, couple of tablespoons of raw sunflower seeds -- hunger completely satisfied!)
Weight: 340.5 (Loss of 7.5 lbs this week)
Yippee!! All are down!!
Nothing feels as good as success!!
Hi,
I was completely surprised this morning when I got on the scale and found that I had lost 7.5 pounds! As you know I have been getting rid of the dairy products, roasted mixed nuts, peanut butter, and sprouted whole grain bread, (by eating them) but I have also been eating raw almonds and peanuts, raw sunflower and pumpkin seeds, spinach, Romaine, small gala apples, raw dates, cucumbers and tomatoes (all raw and uncooked in any way) as kind of a lead in, or get ready for, today. I was practicing and seeing what it was like and how I felt about it. I have noticed that I am feeling satisfied with the raw food, also. I'm not having the great cravings or hunger pangs and am happy with very small portions -- but I have a little more veggies if my body wants more. My body seems to be responding very well to this change. Thank God!!
I decided to weigh myself this morning so I have a "starting point" for the raw food adventure upon which I am embarking today. I was completely surprised to have to move the slider on the scale to the left -- meaning less weight. (I bought one of those doctor's scales online a few years ago that weighs up to 400 lbs, so I could know how much I weigh. I think it was only in the neighborhood of $150-200 at the time, and I am glad I have it. My friends often ask if they can weigh themselves on it. I leave the room and let them check that out privately.)
The bread and sliced cheese disappeared early in the week, along with the peanut butter. I find that I like the Ezekial bread with butter, peanut butter, and raw broccoli sprouts -- sometimes I add avocado and Romaine, too. It is very tasty. Since I thought of myself as "in between" diets, I also had about three toasted cheese sandwiches, which I had not had for years. I was still eating dairy products up until yesterday, and still have one half a tube of goat cheese to go -- probably about an ounce, so I am not going to worry with that, I'll just eat it. I am including Feta cheese on my program so I still have some of that. And I lost weight eating all those things. Hmmm. That sounds more like the program on the 30 Day Diabetes Cure. Hmmm.
I had already noticed that I did not have the low back pain, when I got up this morning. What a blessing that was. I had gotten a set of stretching exercises from my doctor and did them for the past few days and this morning I had no back pain. I also changed the angle of the chair at the computer to hold me more upright and started using a back support on the recliner when I am sitting upright to read my Bible. I am trying to pay attention as I type to my posture so I correct it whenever I notice me slumping. I try to sit relaxed but erect and it seems to have helped. I used to kind of hunch over the keyboard but that ends up being very painful after a while, and is not good for the herniated disk in my neck, either.
If what happened today is any indication, I think this may be the final adjustment in WHAT to eat. I shall continue and see what happens next week, too, although it will be more strictly raw veggies, fruit, nuts, and seeds with a little tuna, salmon, sardines (maybe), hard boiled egg, and Feta cheese. My doctor said it would be OK to have some homemade chicken soup from time to time, also. I have started programs and done very well in losing weight the first week, but it will be the second and third week of doing the same thing that really will be the markers for me. I don't think I have anything to worry about, but will still wait and see. And I need to remind me that I have not actually considered this last week to be the "first week" since I was eating at least 50 percent processed (dairy) or cooked food (Ezekial bread). That was just me "practicing!" Wow.
In the past, any weight loss program has always been successful in the first week and then things settle down to a slow even steady weight loss. That is, if it is working. As I have shared before, in recent years I have ended up gaining weight on some programs. The Six Week Body Makeover was like that for me. And when I started to count calories last month, I went crazy and put weight on, too. But this raw food thing... I am hoping it works for me and so far it seems to be.
As I said in a previous post I have been looking online for raw food information and programs and one of my readers ("C") left a link to this site:
http://www.rawfoodbootcamp.com/
Since I am short on cash (unemployed) I am not joining this group just yet ($49 a month) -- but I may join when I get a little extra. I think that if someone can afford it, this might be a good thing to try out. There is a PDF available there for about ten dollars called Carlene's "Fat Brain Lies." It is a 132 page workbook to help you change your mindset before you start any kind of a diet program -- and you can read the first 25 pages for free. From what I have read so far (only one or two pages and glanced through it) it makes real good sense to me. Check it out, if you are interested. I have signed up for their e-mail from "ObeseMe" and am looking forward to the first one.
I love you, my readers, and am happy for you today. I hope your program is working for you and please know that you are not alone in the struggle. God will show you the way, if you trust Him. Look what He has done for me!! Thank you Jesus!!
Be back soon
--Marcia
P.S. Pray for the families of the more than 3,000 who lost their lives on this date. They still miss their loved ones. God bless!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Starting in Two Days
Hi,
I went shopping at the Dekalb Farmer's Market and my fridge is full of fresh veggies. My plan is to start, in earnest, on Saturday with the Raw Food Program that I am kind of making up as I go along, for now. I have been looking up information on the internet and have included a link to The Best of Raw Food.com website. As I said earlier I will be going to a class on Sept 25th that my doctor will be teaching, but I want to get started now. How hard could it be? I've been experimenting a little. At the farmer's market I got some raw peanuts, almonds, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seed. I also bought a bag of small gala apples and two grapefruit -- all of which my doctor said I could have on the program. I bought some green veggies, too.
I am not completely unfamiliar with the program, having read about it in the nineties when I was a vegan for a few years, but never actually decided to try it. I had read some pamphlet sized books written by some teacher from the 1800's who was advocating eating raw food even way back then. I know that they make "recipes" of many different types, using raw foods, and I believe my doctor will be showing me some of these types of things in the class. I wanted to see what is available on the net and discovered this area is just like any other on the net, everyone has a book or DVD or Video to sell you. My gosh, does no one just share information anymore? Perhaps the fault is mine. I've been using search engines, and I'm sure the folks selling things are using SEO to get their stuff at the top of the list. Perhaps if I go a little farther down the list, I might actually find some free information. I used to have a book on eating raw, but I think I gave it away.
What with the price of the class that I have only half paid for, and being on unemployment, I have to be careful with the spending, or things start going down the tubes fast. My emission inspection and plate renewal for my car is coming up soon, too, but, gratefully, my car is old, so the fees are low.
Over the past few days I have been paying attention to eating the things I have to get out of the house. I noticed that it was like the last fling before a diet, but I'm not eating outside the boundaries that I have been eating within for a couple of months now. I had some roasted nuts, and a block of colby/jack cheese. Some peanut butter and a partial loaf of Ezekial bread. Almost all of that is gone now and I am beginning to eat the fresh raw stuff.
When I talked with my doctor in her office she had mentioned that I could sweeten things with fresh dates, so I bought some. I had never had a fresh date before, only dried. I always liked them, but they are so sweet when dried that I don't eat them very often because of the sugar content. I had no idea even what they looked like, but read the signs at the farmer's market and bought a package of them. They are yellow, which surprised me. When I tried my first one, I discovered that they have the same texture as an apple. How odd, since when they are dried, the inside is sort of mushy and soft. There is a medium sized seed inside which comes out easily and when I tasted it for the first time, I recognized the flavor from the dried dates, but it is, of course, fresher. They are very filling and one at a time is more than enough for my tongue. At one point I ate a small apple and a date at the same time and could almost not stomach the sweet overload.
I've tried putting a mixture of the raw peanuts, sunflower seeds, almonds and pumpkin seeds in a bowl and eating them with an apple, too. That is also very filling. Tonight I had a large cucumber and two small tomatoes for dinner and that was filling for a while. After that was when I had the nuts and the apple.
I had bought some of the long green onions for salads but they are a little too strong for me. I don't like to be overpowered by raw uncooked onion, so I will save those for the chicken curry that I am planning on making for the dinner on Sunday at the church. I am wondering how I shall deal with the food at the dinner and have thought that maybe I should not eat there. I am making the curry to get rid of the chicken in my freezer. I wanted to make something tasty that I don't believe they will have had before. I have never noticed any curry dishes there before.
Well, there is lots more to say, but I am tired and going to bed.
Be back soon -- Lord willing!
--Marcia
I went shopping at the Dekalb Farmer's Market and my fridge is full of fresh veggies. My plan is to start, in earnest, on Saturday with the Raw Food Program that I am kind of making up as I go along, for now. I have been looking up information on the internet and have included a link to The Best of Raw Food.com website. As I said earlier I will be going to a class on Sept 25th that my doctor will be teaching, but I want to get started now. How hard could it be? I've been experimenting a little. At the farmer's market I got some raw peanuts, almonds, sunflower seeds and pumpkin seed. I also bought a bag of small gala apples and two grapefruit -- all of which my doctor said I could have on the program. I bought some green veggies, too.
I am not completely unfamiliar with the program, having read about it in the nineties when I was a vegan for a few years, but never actually decided to try it. I had read some pamphlet sized books written by some teacher from the 1800's who was advocating eating raw food even way back then. I know that they make "recipes" of many different types, using raw foods, and I believe my doctor will be showing me some of these types of things in the class. I wanted to see what is available on the net and discovered this area is just like any other on the net, everyone has a book or DVD or Video to sell you. My gosh, does no one just share information anymore? Perhaps the fault is mine. I've been using search engines, and I'm sure the folks selling things are using SEO to get their stuff at the top of the list. Perhaps if I go a little farther down the list, I might actually find some free information. I used to have a book on eating raw, but I think I gave it away.
What with the price of the class that I have only half paid for, and being on unemployment, I have to be careful with the spending, or things start going down the tubes fast. My emission inspection and plate renewal for my car is coming up soon, too, but, gratefully, my car is old, so the fees are low.
Over the past few days I have been paying attention to eating the things I have to get out of the house. I noticed that it was like the last fling before a diet, but I'm not eating outside the boundaries that I have been eating within for a couple of months now. I had some roasted nuts, and a block of colby/jack cheese. Some peanut butter and a partial loaf of Ezekial bread. Almost all of that is gone now and I am beginning to eat the fresh raw stuff.
When I talked with my doctor in her office she had mentioned that I could sweeten things with fresh dates, so I bought some. I had never had a fresh date before, only dried. I always liked them, but they are so sweet when dried that I don't eat them very often because of the sugar content. I had no idea even what they looked like, but read the signs at the farmer's market and bought a package of them. They are yellow, which surprised me. When I tried my first one, I discovered that they have the same texture as an apple. How odd, since when they are dried, the inside is sort of mushy and soft. There is a medium sized seed inside which comes out easily and when I tasted it for the first time, I recognized the flavor from the dried dates, but it is, of course, fresher. They are very filling and one at a time is more than enough for my tongue. At one point I ate a small apple and a date at the same time and could almost not stomach the sweet overload.
I've tried putting a mixture of the raw peanuts, sunflower seeds, almonds and pumpkin seeds in a bowl and eating them with an apple, too. That is also very filling. Tonight I had a large cucumber and two small tomatoes for dinner and that was filling for a while. After that was when I had the nuts and the apple.
I had bought some of the long green onions for salads but they are a little too strong for me. I don't like to be overpowered by raw uncooked onion, so I will save those for the chicken curry that I am planning on making for the dinner on Sunday at the church. I am wondering how I shall deal with the food at the dinner and have thought that maybe I should not eat there. I am making the curry to get rid of the chicken in my freezer. I wanted to make something tasty that I don't believe they will have had before. I have never noticed any curry dishes there before.
Well, there is lots more to say, but I am tired and going to bed.
Be back soon -- Lord willing!
--Marcia
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
New Hope
Hi,
I went to my doctor today. I've got to tell you I really struggled with whether I was going to go or not, but finally realized that if I did not go, what would I have? Just all my struggle and pain. At least if I went, I would get it over with. So I went. And am I glad I did!!
First off, she was not happy with my weight GAIN -- I was so embarrassed I did not even ask her how much it was -- but I saw the scale and think that it was only a couple of pounds. I checked my weight before I left and knew that even my scale said I put on a pound today, and her scale always weighs me ten pounds more than mine, so my heart kind of sank when I saw that. But I went anyway.
I had been practicing in my mind what I was going to say. What excuses I was going to come up with to explain my bad behavior and lack of will power. I even got out the notebook I had kept my calorie count in, and I went through each day, remembering what I had done and looking at the end of the day totals. I counted the number of entries and found that I had tried for 15 days before I finally just quit.
I looked at what I had been eating and got a different picture than what had been in my mind. I noticed that when I started counting calories, all the good stuff I had learned in The 30 Day Diabetes Cure, just sort of flew out the window. I was still eating salads but not as many as I thought I was. The calorie totals at the end of the day were up and down every other day, and I was so very embarrassed that I had so little self control.
I felt that, perhaps, if my personal doctor had not put me on the calorie counting regimen, that the 30 Day Diabetes Cure might have eventually worked better for me, but when I had to superimpose the calorie counting over the program, it was too much. I think that if you are going to do a program, you cannot impose another program over the top of it. I don't know. It is frustrating.
I toyed with the idea to just leave the book at home, because I did not really want her to see it. But I took it with me when I went. And even as I was wondering why it was happening I walked out the door, got in my car and drove to the appointment. When I got there I was four minutes early. So did not have to feel bad about being late, too.
When I finally got to see Dr. Robbins we started to talk. I had been thinking about what I should do next, since what I had been trying did not work, and I had remembered a program that she had suggested to me on the first day I went to see her. I felt that I had tried that program before and did not want to do it again, so simply refused it. I did purchase a book she recommended, and discovered it was of no interest to me, as it seemed to be all the standard stuff that I had read many times before. But today, after having gone through two months of struggling and getting no where in the weight department, I thought that maybe I should try things her way. So, I asked her if I could try that program out.
She was very kind and said that many people have trouble with the calorie counting method. Whew. I felt better about that, at least. And we started to talk about the Raw Food Program that she recommends. I found out that she has a class scheduled on the last Saturday in September from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and had room for one more person. I raised my hand and volunteered. I will just have to come up with the money some how. I paid for half of it and will pay the other $88 dollars by the 17th. In the class she will be teaching us how to prepare our foods raw and will be demonstrating exactly how to do, and there will be food to take home. So that is interesting.
I started asking for details and found out that I could eat some fruit (apples, grapefruit, and berries) on the program. Any vegetables I want are included. No beef, no grains. Bean sprouts are OK, but not cooked beans. Raw nuts and seeds are good. I can have some home made chicken soup once in a while. She said that there are many versions of the Raw Food diet, all the way from the Food Nazi who believes that you should eat only one hundred percent raw food to those more moderate folks who eat, say, 80% raw foods. She said that she herself eats 50% raw foods, so there is a lot of leeway in how you do it. It boils down to simply doing what works for you. She said she had a friend who had done it and lost sixty pounds rather quickly. So I am going to try the program out on my own, in the time between now and the class, with the things that I listed at the start of this paragraph and see what happens. I figure that way, I will be ahead of the game, and may have better questions to ask.
I have got to tell you this is a real relief for me. A new direction to head. I had done a program rather similar to this in the nineties called "The McDougall Program" which, at that time, was a totally vegan, starch based diet. I did lose a massive amount of weight. I am sorry to say that I cannot tell you exactly how much I lost because I did not know what my weight was when I started out. I did not have a scale that went up high enough. My belief at this point in time is that I weighed about 360 or there abouts. I got myself down to 297 which would have been a 63 pound loss, but, at the time, I felt like it was 100 pounds, so that is what I told people. I got off of that one when I moved to Georgia and was living with some friends who ate the Standard American Diet and because of circumstances I could not afford to buy my own food and cook it, so I remained a vegan but my choices of food got narrowed down to the mashed potatoes and green beans that were served at the meal, without any meat. My weight loss, came to a complete halt, and the frustration began.
Even before I got here and that happened I had noticed that my feet and ankles had started to swell and I did not know why. Every day, I had to come home and put my feet up for the swelling to go down, and every evening when I came home they were swollen again. Today when I talked to Dr. Robbins I told her about that and she said that if I include a little protein in my diet (the fish, and I am thinking hard boiled eggs, too, and maybe some feta cheese) that the swelling would not happen. I think she is right, because from my own observations it seems to be that if I eat too many starchy type foods (potatoes, pasta, bread) my feet swell up. That is actually why I asked for the diuretic that I am taking in the first place: to keep the swelling down. It works well as long as I don't eat many starches.
As I was driving home I thought about the 30 Day Diabetes Cure and wondered if I had read the program without realizing that I should be eating raw foods. Dr Ripich does not specifically point it out that way, so maybe I missed that as I read, but he had directed me to eating more vegetables which I was doing in the raw state, but I was still eating dairy which is not allowed on the new program, and definitely not the whole grains. Perhaps for someone who is of a smaller girth than I am, it would work better, but mine is an extreme case, so I am about to take an extreme measure to combat it.
I asked my doctor if I would really be able to eat fruit, and wondered about the blood sugars, but she seemed confident that if I did this program that I would lose the weight, and get off of all my medications, and not have to worry about the blood sugars. That sounded good to me, so I am about to begin. By Saturday, I hope to have all the bad food out of the house, and only the good stuff will be here. Some of it I will eat, some of it I will give away, and some of it I will toss out. But Saturday is the day I shall begin doing Marcia's version of the Raw Food Program. With my doctor's help, I can adjust things as I go along. My next appointment is in October, so, after I have taken the class, I will have two weeks more to see if it really does work for me. I hope to have lost a few pounds by then. God willling.
The last thing she told me, was that with this program you are not left with a lot of flappy skin. She said that something in the enzymes that are contained in raw foods prevents that from happening. Another big plus!!
Be back soon,
--Marcia
I went to my doctor today. I've got to tell you I really struggled with whether I was going to go or not, but finally realized that if I did not go, what would I have? Just all my struggle and pain. At least if I went, I would get it over with. So I went. And am I glad I did!!
First off, she was not happy with my weight GAIN -- I was so embarrassed I did not even ask her how much it was -- but I saw the scale and think that it was only a couple of pounds. I checked my weight before I left and knew that even my scale said I put on a pound today, and her scale always weighs me ten pounds more than mine, so my heart kind of sank when I saw that. But I went anyway.
I had been practicing in my mind what I was going to say. What excuses I was going to come up with to explain my bad behavior and lack of will power. I even got out the notebook I had kept my calorie count in, and I went through each day, remembering what I had done and looking at the end of the day totals. I counted the number of entries and found that I had tried for 15 days before I finally just quit.
I looked at what I had been eating and got a different picture than what had been in my mind. I noticed that when I started counting calories, all the good stuff I had learned in The 30 Day Diabetes Cure, just sort of flew out the window. I was still eating salads but not as many as I thought I was. The calorie totals at the end of the day were up and down every other day, and I was so very embarrassed that I had so little self control.
I felt that, perhaps, if my personal doctor had not put me on the calorie counting regimen, that the 30 Day Diabetes Cure might have eventually worked better for me, but when I had to superimpose the calorie counting over the program, it was too much. I think that if you are going to do a program, you cannot impose another program over the top of it. I don't know. It is frustrating.
I toyed with the idea to just leave the book at home, because I did not really want her to see it. But I took it with me when I went. And even as I was wondering why it was happening I walked out the door, got in my car and drove to the appointment. When I got there I was four minutes early. So did not have to feel bad about being late, too.
When I finally got to see Dr. Robbins we started to talk. I had been thinking about what I should do next, since what I had been trying did not work, and I had remembered a program that she had suggested to me on the first day I went to see her. I felt that I had tried that program before and did not want to do it again, so simply refused it. I did purchase a book she recommended, and discovered it was of no interest to me, as it seemed to be all the standard stuff that I had read many times before. But today, after having gone through two months of struggling and getting no where in the weight department, I thought that maybe I should try things her way. So, I asked her if I could try that program out.
She was very kind and said that many people have trouble with the calorie counting method. Whew. I felt better about that, at least. And we started to talk about the Raw Food Program that she recommends. I found out that she has a class scheduled on the last Saturday in September from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and had room for one more person. I raised my hand and volunteered. I will just have to come up with the money some how. I paid for half of it and will pay the other $88 dollars by the 17th. In the class she will be teaching us how to prepare our foods raw and will be demonstrating exactly how to do, and there will be food to take home. So that is interesting.
I started asking for details and found out that I could eat some fruit (apples, grapefruit, and berries) on the program. Any vegetables I want are included. No beef, no grains. Bean sprouts are OK, but not cooked beans. Raw nuts and seeds are good. I can have some home made chicken soup once in a while. She said that there are many versions of the Raw Food diet, all the way from the Food Nazi who believes that you should eat only one hundred percent raw food to those more moderate folks who eat, say, 80% raw foods. She said that she herself eats 50% raw foods, so there is a lot of leeway in how you do it. It boils down to simply doing what works for you. She said she had a friend who had done it and lost sixty pounds rather quickly. So I am going to try the program out on my own, in the time between now and the class, with the things that I listed at the start of this paragraph and see what happens. I figure that way, I will be ahead of the game, and may have better questions to ask.
I have got to tell you this is a real relief for me. A new direction to head. I had done a program rather similar to this in the nineties called "The McDougall Program" which, at that time, was a totally vegan, starch based diet. I did lose a massive amount of weight. I am sorry to say that I cannot tell you exactly how much I lost because I did not know what my weight was when I started out. I did not have a scale that went up high enough. My belief at this point in time is that I weighed about 360 or there abouts. I got myself down to 297 which would have been a 63 pound loss, but, at the time, I felt like it was 100 pounds, so that is what I told people. I got off of that one when I moved to Georgia and was living with some friends who ate the Standard American Diet and because of circumstances I could not afford to buy my own food and cook it, so I remained a vegan but my choices of food got narrowed down to the mashed potatoes and green beans that were served at the meal, without any meat. My weight loss, came to a complete halt, and the frustration began.
Even before I got here and that happened I had noticed that my feet and ankles had started to swell and I did not know why. Every day, I had to come home and put my feet up for the swelling to go down, and every evening when I came home they were swollen again. Today when I talked to Dr. Robbins I told her about that and she said that if I include a little protein in my diet (the fish, and I am thinking hard boiled eggs, too, and maybe some feta cheese) that the swelling would not happen. I think she is right, because from my own observations it seems to be that if I eat too many starchy type foods (potatoes, pasta, bread) my feet swell up. That is actually why I asked for the diuretic that I am taking in the first place: to keep the swelling down. It works well as long as I don't eat many starches.
As I was driving home I thought about the 30 Day Diabetes Cure and wondered if I had read the program without realizing that I should be eating raw foods. Dr Ripich does not specifically point it out that way, so maybe I missed that as I read, but he had directed me to eating more vegetables which I was doing in the raw state, but I was still eating dairy which is not allowed on the new program, and definitely not the whole grains. Perhaps for someone who is of a smaller girth than I am, it would work better, but mine is an extreme case, so I am about to take an extreme measure to combat it.
I asked my doctor if I would really be able to eat fruit, and wondered about the blood sugars, but she seemed confident that if I did this program that I would lose the weight, and get off of all my medications, and not have to worry about the blood sugars. That sounded good to me, so I am about to begin. By Saturday, I hope to have all the bad food out of the house, and only the good stuff will be here. Some of it I will eat, some of it I will give away, and some of it I will toss out. But Saturday is the day I shall begin doing Marcia's version of the Raw Food Program. With my doctor's help, I can adjust things as I go along. My next appointment is in October, so, after I have taken the class, I will have two weeks more to see if it really does work for me. I hope to have lost a few pounds by then. God willling.
The last thing she told me, was that with this program you are not left with a lot of flappy skin. She said that something in the enzymes that are contained in raw foods prevents that from happening. Another big plus!!
Be back soon,
--Marcia
Hi,
I have done it myself. I shared with a couple of friends that I was struggling with weight loss and described my 1800 calorie diet fiasco and that brought out all the comments and suggestions and help that a person could handle. I have done it myself, but being on the receiving end was not easy. I felt a little like I had just been slightly trampled upon. I am too close to it, to know whether I was simply rebellious and they were right, or they were insensitive and did not understand me. I know them both to be sensitive and loving friends, so I must be at fault in this one, but I sure don't want to admit that.
The words "self control" came up and I did not want to hear them, but I did hear them. I know that when I was younger I could go on a diet and follow it and have some good results. I once lost 50 pounds. And once lost nearly 100 pounds. But I put them back on and more. The thin experiment that I wrote about day before yesterday has popped into my mind. To recap: a group of a dozen or so slender people in Britain volunteered to be guinea pigs in an experiment. They each were weighed and measured and calculated to determine how many calories they ate in a day and that was doubled for each one of them. They ate twice as many calories as they normally did for four weeks in a row and at the end of it, most put on a few pounds, some put on very little, and one man did not put on fat, but muscle. Then when the trial was over they were released. Later the ones doing the documentary checked in on every member and found that they had returned to their previous weights without dieting. They just went back to business as usual and their bodies got thin again. It did not check in again later to see if anyone weighed less than when they had started out.
How many times and how many people have tried to lose weight only to gain it all back again -- and often plus some. This is exactly the same mechanism at work in the thin and the fat to keep them precisely where they are -- or should I say -- were. I am really wondering if it is actually possible to change your body that drastically and maintain the change. The only difference I see is that the thin go back to where they were and the fat go back to and beyond where they were. What is up with that?
When I shared with my friends about the flexing exercises I could see they just did not believe me. They stopped short of "poo-pooing" me, but began to tell me I needed to go outside and walk or do some other kind of exercise. I pointed out that I do exercise. They then said I needed to do it every day. I said, I do, do it every day. We went around in circles and they put no credence whatsoever in my Move it! Move it! flexing. I am going to continue doing it, because I know different. It really does make a difference and it is less painful for me to do. I shall continue doing the 12-15 minutes of Aerofit, but add another 30 minutes of flex/relaxes. And I'll continue doing the crunches, too.
I have decided not to fear my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I shall just go in and tell the truth and hope she does not lambast me. I am going to go to the raw food seminar too, if I can find out when the next one is.
Be back soon
--Marcia
I have done it myself. I shared with a couple of friends that I was struggling with weight loss and described my 1800 calorie diet fiasco and that brought out all the comments and suggestions and help that a person could handle. I have done it myself, but being on the receiving end was not easy. I felt a little like I had just been slightly trampled upon. I am too close to it, to know whether I was simply rebellious and they were right, or they were insensitive and did not understand me. I know them both to be sensitive and loving friends, so I must be at fault in this one, but I sure don't want to admit that.
The words "self control" came up and I did not want to hear them, but I did hear them. I know that when I was younger I could go on a diet and follow it and have some good results. I once lost 50 pounds. And once lost nearly 100 pounds. But I put them back on and more. The thin experiment that I wrote about day before yesterday has popped into my mind. To recap: a group of a dozen or so slender people in Britain volunteered to be guinea pigs in an experiment. They each were weighed and measured and calculated to determine how many calories they ate in a day and that was doubled for each one of them. They ate twice as many calories as they normally did for four weeks in a row and at the end of it, most put on a few pounds, some put on very little, and one man did not put on fat, but muscle. Then when the trial was over they were released. Later the ones doing the documentary checked in on every member and found that they had returned to their previous weights without dieting. They just went back to business as usual and their bodies got thin again. It did not check in again later to see if anyone weighed less than when they had started out.
How many times and how many people have tried to lose weight only to gain it all back again -- and often plus some. This is exactly the same mechanism at work in the thin and the fat to keep them precisely where they are -- or should I say -- were. I am really wondering if it is actually possible to change your body that drastically and maintain the change. The only difference I see is that the thin go back to where they were and the fat go back to and beyond where they were. What is up with that?
When I shared with my friends about the flexing exercises I could see they just did not believe me. They stopped short of "poo-pooing" me, but began to tell me I needed to go outside and walk or do some other kind of exercise. I pointed out that I do exercise. They then said I needed to do it every day. I said, I do, do it every day. We went around in circles and they put no credence whatsoever in my Move it! Move it! flexing. I am going to continue doing it, because I know different. It really does make a difference and it is less painful for me to do. I shall continue doing the 12-15 minutes of Aerofit, but add another 30 minutes of flex/relaxes. And I'll continue doing the crunches, too.
I have decided not to fear my doctor's appointment tomorrow. I shall just go in and tell the truth and hope she does not lambast me. I am going to go to the raw food seminar too, if I can find out when the next one is.
Be back soon
--Marcia
Monday, September 6, 2010
Comments from a Reader
From Carl Cornwall:
Hello,
I have read your 30-day Cure blog with interest. Like you I have tried to find every possible rationale for not giving up a favorite food - in my case chicken wings ("they're not breaded", "oh, just one or two won't hurt", etc), but whenever I give them up my progress resumes. In your case, I noted your fondness for breaded fish - it is fish after all. Have you read the nutrition label carefully? Do you favor one of the brands that contains up to 14 grams of fat and 24 grams of carbs? Even the most lightly breaded brands I'm familiar with have 9 grams of fat and 15 grams of carbs. The latter may be acceptable once in a while after you've gotten youself back on track, but for now you might want to think twice about other alternatives. Wishing you the best of luck, and glad to hear you haven't given up!
- Carl
P.S. Thanks for the pointer to http://www.diabeticconnect.com. Perhaps I'll see you there.
P.P.S. I haven't read Dr. Ripich's book, so I can't possibly be violating his "trust" if I share with you the following article that might be of interest to other readers of your blog, nor - I think - would you be doing so if you attributed the reference to "one of your readers" - http://www.diabetesselfmanagement.com/Blog/Amy-Campbell/can_cinnamon_help_you_control_your_diabetes/.
Personally, I think that anyone who charges money for this publicly available tidbit of information (first published as the result of studies funded by the U.S. National Instituts of Health) and encouraging readers to treat it as a secret is walking on shaky ethical ground. Especially when it was our tax dollars that paid for the research! But, that's just my opinion. You're certainly entitled to yours.
I have read your 30-day Cure blog with interest. Like you I have tried to find every possible rationale for not giving up a favorite food - in my case chicken wings ("they're not breaded", "oh, just one or two won't hurt", etc), but whenever I give them up my progress resumes. In your case, I noted your fondness for breaded fish - it is fish after all. Have you read the nutrition label carefully? Do you favor one of the brands that contains up to 14 grams of fat and 24 grams of carbs? Even the most lightly breaded brands I'm familiar with have 9 grams of fat and 15 grams of carbs. The latter may be acceptable once in a while after you've gotten youself back on track, but for now you might want to think twice about other alternatives. Wishing you the best of luck, and glad to hear you haven't given up!
- Carl
P.S. Thanks for the pointer to http://www.diabeticconnect.com. Perhaps I'll see you there.
P.P.S. I haven't read Dr. Ripich's book, so I can't possibly be violating his "trust" if I share with you the following article that might be of interest to other readers of your blog, nor - I think - would you be doing so if you attributed the reference to "one of your readers" - http://www.diabetesselfmanagement.com/Blog/Amy-Campbell/can_cinnamon_help_you_control_your_diabetes/.
Personally, I think that anyone who charges money for this publicly available tidbit of information (first published as the result of studies funded by the U.S. National Instituts of Health) and encouraging readers to treat it as a secret is walking on shaky ethical ground. Especially when it was our tax dollars that paid for the research! But, that's just my opinion. You're certainly entitled to yours.
My reply:
Hello Carl,
Glad to hear from you and you are right about the breaded fish, that was not one of my better decisions. I have since stopped doing that one, at least. It was good of you to point out the flaw in my thinking, I need that from time to time. I still struggle with the weight loss, but am, I feel, eating more proper foods now and will be going to see my personal doctor on Tuesday -- which I am not looking forward to.
I also struggled with the idea of revealing the program that Dr. Ripich and Jim Healthy worked so hard to assemble into an entire program, and while I wish it did not look like I was being secretive and also trying to sell the book, I also did not want to break my own integrity in that area. You are right that the information about the cinnamon, and many of the other things in the book, can be found for free anywhere, but what cannot be found everywhere is the complete day by day program that Dr. Ripich has put together. I wanted to share my experience of the program without making their book of less value by spewing information that I did not have permission to spew. If a person decides to purchase the book and do the program I believe they will receive benefit from it, as I did -- but, in all fairness, there are many programs out there that might work for many different individuals.
I have pointed out where this particular program failed me, in the area of weight loss, but it did reduce my blood pressure, and did lower my A1c which is a blessing. There are others who did successfully reduce their weight using the program. I can see that the flaw in my weight loss is mine, but I have still not found what my particular livable solution is. I am still searching and testing that one.
It appears from your writing that you are counting grams like fat and carbs, which surely seems to work for most people. Perhaps I need to take another look at my fat numbers, because I believe my carb numbers to be realistically small, since I normally only eat vegetables and beans for carbs with only one starchy or whole grain carb per day. I did only yesterday purchase a loaf of Ezekial bread, to replace the popcorn carbs I was eating once a day. The portions will be much smaller with the bread, so that should head me in a better direction. I also threw out the popcorn when I found out how high it is on the glycemic index.
May I post your comment on my blog and use it as one of my daily blog entries? If you would prefer to be anonymous on the blog I will certainly make sure that happens. Please let me know if I may use it.
If you have other comments, I welcome them, and wish you good success.
Thanks and let me know how I can be of service to you in any way at all,
Kindest Regards,
Marcia
Glad to hear from you and you are right about the breaded fish, that was not one of my better decisions. I have since stopped doing that one, at least. It was good of you to point out the flaw in my thinking, I need that from time to time. I still struggle with the weight loss, but am, I feel, eating more proper foods now and will be going to see my personal doctor on Tuesday -- which I am not looking forward to.
I also struggled with the idea of revealing the program that Dr. Ripich and Jim Healthy worked so hard to assemble into an entire program, and while I wish it did not look like I was being secretive and also trying to sell the book, I also did not want to break my own integrity in that area. You are right that the information about the cinnamon, and many of the other things in the book, can be found for free anywhere, but what cannot be found everywhere is the complete day by day program that Dr. Ripich has put together. I wanted to share my experience of the program without making their book of less value by spewing information that I did not have permission to spew. If a person decides to purchase the book and do the program I believe they will receive benefit from it, as I did -- but, in all fairness, there are many programs out there that might work for many different individuals.
I have pointed out where this particular program failed me, in the area of weight loss, but it did reduce my blood pressure, and did lower my A1c which is a blessing. There are others who did successfully reduce their weight using the program. I can see that the flaw in my weight loss is mine, but I have still not found what my particular livable solution is. I am still searching and testing that one.
It appears from your writing that you are counting grams like fat and carbs, which surely seems to work for most people. Perhaps I need to take another look at my fat numbers, because I believe my carb numbers to be realistically small, since I normally only eat vegetables and beans for carbs with only one starchy or whole grain carb per day. I did only yesterday purchase a loaf of Ezekial bread, to replace the popcorn carbs I was eating once a day. The portions will be much smaller with the bread, so that should head me in a better direction. I also threw out the popcorn when I found out how high it is on the glycemic index.
May I post your comment on my blog and use it as one of my daily blog entries? If you would prefer to be anonymous on the blog I will certainly make sure that happens. Please let me know if I may use it.
If you have other comments, I welcome them, and wish you good success.
Thanks and let me know how I can be of service to you in any way at all,
Kindest Regards,
Marcia
Carl's further comment/reply:
Hello again, Marcia,
You may post anything that I share with you - with, or without attribution - unless I explicitly request that you don't. I only contacted you through this private channel because I could not find a way to comment directly on your blog site, and your struggle called out for a response (I must admit, I have not had time to read every one of your daily posts, so I may have missed where you dumped the breaded fillets). Anyway ...
Glad you came to your senses :-) but sorry to hear that hasn't been enough to kick-start your metabolic and endocrine systems. Hopefully your physician will take a holistic view, and if meds are suggested, they'll be considered as a temporary solution to help you establish a self-managed, natural regimen. In one of the more enlightening discussions I have had with my physician, he shared with me that "plan" physicians are encouraged to recommend various pharmaceuticals (such as Lipitor) to ALL patients even though they have no presenting symptoms that would justify the prescription. Fortunately, he is aware of my aversion to pharmaceutical treatments for conditions that can be managed without them, and he does not press the issue with me. Of course he DOES offer the gentle threat that "if my numbers get way out of line ..." he may have to reconsider.
I am not so much into carb and fat gram "counting" as I am into awareness of the nutritional content of the foods that I buy. Sure, I'd rather catch my own fish and grow my own vegetables, but that would not fit my current (suburban) lifestyle no matter how well it fits the one I grew up with in rural Pennsylvania. As for grass-fed vs corn-fed beef ... it's not like I eat steak every day ... more like once every week or two. With my luck, on the way home from an successful search for the healthiest steak on Earth I'll be hit by a speeding motorist who's distracted by the juice squirting out of a Wendy's Baconator.
It has been a tad over 10 years since I was introduced to the "low-carb" lifestyle - first through Atkins, who I thought was a bit extreme until I read past the media hype about "all the fat you can eat" - then through a "diabetes management" book based on the Protein Sparing Modified Fast (once, and maybe still, promoted by the Cleveland Clinic) along with Dr. Bernstein's original book which was recommended to me by my physician. I'll never forget how, once he realized I was serious about a lifestyle change, my "mainstream" doctor opened his desk reference and we spent the time required to calculate how to taper me off of the meds I had been taking in increasing doses for the previous 5 years (with each increase resulting in weight gain that required a higher dose ad infinitum ... except that I cried "UNCLE" when the scale tipped 255).
More recently, I was a total failure at Weight Watcher's style "tracking", but managed to attain my first 10% goal (dropping from 230 to 205 in 14 months) after several false starts by finding foods that fit my tastes and lifestyle, then walking 7 blocks to the grocery store nearly every day to purchase them. Unfortunately, work, travel and the onset of winter conspired to make that lifestyle change unsustainable. Seems to be a recurring theme .. on my previous excursion into the world of Dr's Atkins, Bernstein, Whitaker, et al I bottomed out at 180 before a lengthy series of field assignments shattered my resolve. I now hover around 210 ... 55 lbs above my ideal weight. But, I can't help remembering that I once got much closer ...
I try not to focus on the weight -- it really must be true that it is quality of life, not numbers, that matters. And if that is true, then it must be true that one must be clear about what makes one's life worth living in order to be able to "measure" the quality of one's life. For me, that means that I am able to walk to the top of a challenging trail to spend time listening to a silence broken only by birds chattering, the creaking of tree trunks and rustling of leaves in the wind, with a stream murmuring in the background; that I am able to continue to watch my children (20, 25 and 29) - and soon-to-be-1yr-old grandson - grow and to provide them with love, mutual entertainment, support and counsel. Looking at life through that lens gives me an entirely different perspective on those Buffalo Wings. When I consider that the price of "a wing a day" is leaving my family behind my response is markedly different from when I measure the cost in calories, grams, kilograms or mg/dl.
That, I suppose, is the benefit of daily prayer, or reflection, or meditation, or whatever one's faith calls for --- to remind us that it is not just about us, it is about all of the people whose lives touch ours, and through them all of the lives (of whose existence we may not even be aware) that prosper or suffer through our actions. Perhaps, that too, is incomprehensible, but I imagine it provides more food for thought than the question of which way the scale is going to move if we choose the cheesecake over the apple pie.
Regards,
- Carl
You may post anything that I share with you - with, or without attribution - unless I explicitly request that you don't. I only contacted you through this private channel because I could not find a way to comment directly on your blog site, and your struggle called out for a response (I must admit, I have not had time to read every one of your daily posts, so I may have missed where you dumped the breaded fillets). Anyway ...
Glad you came to your senses :-) but sorry to hear that hasn't been enough to kick-start your metabolic and endocrine systems. Hopefully your physician will take a holistic view, and if meds are suggested, they'll be considered as a temporary solution to help you establish a self-managed, natural regimen. In one of the more enlightening discussions I have had with my physician, he shared with me that "plan" physicians are encouraged to recommend various pharmaceuticals (such as Lipitor) to ALL patients even though they have no presenting symptoms that would justify the prescription. Fortunately, he is aware of my aversion to pharmaceutical treatments for conditions that can be managed without them, and he does not press the issue with me. Of course he DOES offer the gentle threat that "if my numbers get way out of line ..." he may have to reconsider.
I am not so much into carb and fat gram "counting" as I am into awareness of the nutritional content of the foods that I buy. Sure, I'd rather catch my own fish and grow my own vegetables, but that would not fit my current (suburban) lifestyle no matter how well it fits the one I grew up with in rural Pennsylvania. As for grass-fed vs corn-fed beef ... it's not like I eat steak every day ... more like once every week or two. With my luck, on the way home from an successful search for the healthiest steak on Earth I'll be hit by a speeding motorist who's distracted by the juice squirting out of a Wendy's Baconator.
It has been a tad over 10 years since I was introduced to the "low-carb" lifestyle - first through Atkins, who I thought was a bit extreme until I read past the media hype about "all the fat you can eat" - then through a "diabetes management" book based on the Protein Sparing Modified Fast (once, and maybe still, promoted by the Cleveland Clinic) along with Dr. Bernstein's original book which was recommended to me by my physician. I'll never forget how, once he realized I was serious about a lifestyle change, my "mainstream" doctor opened his desk reference and we spent the time required to calculate how to taper me off of the meds I had been taking in increasing doses for the previous 5 years (with each increase resulting in weight gain that required a higher dose ad infinitum ... except that I cried "UNCLE" when the scale tipped 255).
More recently, I was a total failure at Weight Watcher's style "tracking", but managed to attain my first 10% goal (dropping from 230 to 205 in 14 months) after several false starts by finding foods that fit my tastes and lifestyle, then walking 7 blocks to the grocery store nearly every day to purchase them. Unfortunately, work, travel and the onset of winter conspired to make that lifestyle change unsustainable. Seems to be a recurring theme .. on my previous excursion into the world of Dr's Atkins, Bernstein, Whitaker, et al I bottomed out at 180 before a lengthy series of field assignments shattered my resolve. I now hover around 210 ... 55 lbs above my ideal weight. But, I can't help remembering that I once got much closer ...
I try not to focus on the weight -- it really must be true that it is quality of life, not numbers, that matters. And if that is true, then it must be true that one must be clear about what makes one's life worth living in order to be able to "measure" the quality of one's life. For me, that means that I am able to walk to the top of a challenging trail to spend time listening to a silence broken only by birds chattering, the creaking of tree trunks and rustling of leaves in the wind, with a stream murmuring in the background; that I am able to continue to watch my children (20, 25 and 29) - and soon-to-be-1yr-old grandson - grow and to provide them with love, mutual entertainment, support and counsel. Looking at life through that lens gives me an entirely different perspective on those Buffalo Wings. When I consider that the price of "a wing a day" is leaving my family behind my response is markedly different from when I measure the cost in calories, grams, kilograms or mg/dl.
That, I suppose, is the benefit of daily prayer, or reflection, or meditation, or whatever one's faith calls for --- to remind us that it is not just about us, it is about all of the people whose lives touch ours, and through them all of the lives (of whose existence we may not even be aware) that prosper or suffer through our actions. Perhaps, that too, is incomprehensible, but I imagine it provides more food for thought than the question of which way the scale is going to move if we choose the cheesecake over the apple pie.
Regards,
- Carl
My reply:
Wow Carl, you are quite the moving writer.
I was really touched by your insights and am glad to share your comments as others may glean from your experience, too. I am posting all of our mutual comments in one post on my blog and hope that others are touched by not only what you had to say, but the way you said it, as I was. I loved your comment about the Baconator.
The main thing that really touched me in your letter was your sharing about your family and your grandbaby giving you a new perspective on "you" in their lives. That makes true sense and is of great value. I am sure that other readers may really relate to your conclusions here, too. I, on the other hand, have no children or grandchildren, or mate, so must look elsewhere for personal motivation and support.
I am wondering if my doctor may attempt to provide meds of some kind on Tuesday when I go to see her. I am leary of meds and often have bad reactions to them, so, I too would prefer something natural -- but have not found the solution yet. My doctor is an internist with a holistic side, and I have no idea what she will say when I show up weighing about the same as last time. At least I hope I will not have gained anything by her scale. (I have not by mine.)
I am going to continue with the Move it! Move it! flexing/exercising that I spoke of in my previous blog. I shall also continue the Aerofit for my 12 to 15 minutes before the pain gets too bad. A little more exercise should not hurt and might actually help. I know from past experience that exercising usually reduces the pain in my back if I am diligent about continuing with it, and am hoping that will happen this time, too. Of course, I was also seeing a chiropractor back then, which may have been the thing that made the difference. I shall see.
I can also see the Ezekial bread purchase must have been part of my "magical thinking" because I cannot control that carb either, so must throw the loaf out before I go bonkers with it. I have a fridge full of veggies and dairy products (cheeses, Greek yogurt) and need to AGAIN get back on track. I am thinking this may affect my numbers at the doctor's office on Tuesday, so will have to be extra careful tomorrow and Tuesday.
Weight is the one mountain in my life that I have not conquered and I have often become "accepting of the way things are" in this department for long periods of time. I guess the diet monster got waked up when I shared with my doctor. After some of the research I have been doing, I can see where my giving up the fight -- which I have done in the past -- seems tempting again, based on the "virus" that causes obesity, and after watching the thin people put on a few pounds by force eating, and then going back to normal when they were done without making any change except to go back to what they were doing before. That is exactly what happens for me in the opposite direction. I can diet all I want -- and even if I am successful for a time, it all comes back on. Like them, I return to what my body was and there seems no good way to change how I am. I keep turning this over to God and then taking it back again. I am not sure how to completely turn it over, so will ask Him about that.
Good luck and many blessings to you and yours and let me hear how you are doing from time to time, I really enjoyed your style.
Kindest Regards,
Marcia
I was really touched by your insights and am glad to share your comments as others may glean from your experience, too. I am posting all of our mutual comments in one post on my blog and hope that others are touched by not only what you had to say, but the way you said it, as I was. I loved your comment about the Baconator.
The main thing that really touched me in your letter was your sharing about your family and your grandbaby giving you a new perspective on "you" in their lives. That makes true sense and is of great value. I am sure that other readers may really relate to your conclusions here, too. I, on the other hand, have no children or grandchildren, or mate, so must look elsewhere for personal motivation and support.
I am wondering if my doctor may attempt to provide meds of some kind on Tuesday when I go to see her. I am leary of meds and often have bad reactions to them, so, I too would prefer something natural -- but have not found the solution yet. My doctor is an internist with a holistic side, and I have no idea what she will say when I show up weighing about the same as last time. At least I hope I will not have gained anything by her scale. (I have not by mine.)
I am going to continue with the Move it! Move it! flexing/exercising that I spoke of in my previous blog. I shall also continue the Aerofit for my 12 to 15 minutes before the pain gets too bad. A little more exercise should not hurt and might actually help. I know from past experience that exercising usually reduces the pain in my back if I am diligent about continuing with it, and am hoping that will happen this time, too. Of course, I was also seeing a chiropractor back then, which may have been the thing that made the difference. I shall see.
I can also see the Ezekial bread purchase must have been part of my "magical thinking" because I cannot control that carb either, so must throw the loaf out before I go bonkers with it. I have a fridge full of veggies and dairy products (cheeses, Greek yogurt) and need to AGAIN get back on track. I am thinking this may affect my numbers at the doctor's office on Tuesday, so will have to be extra careful tomorrow and Tuesday.
Weight is the one mountain in my life that I have not conquered and I have often become "accepting of the way things are" in this department for long periods of time. I guess the diet monster got waked up when I shared with my doctor. After some of the research I have been doing, I can see where my giving up the fight -- which I have done in the past -- seems tempting again, based on the "virus" that causes obesity, and after watching the thin people put on a few pounds by force eating, and then going back to normal when they were done without making any change except to go back to what they were doing before. That is exactly what happens for me in the opposite direction. I can diet all I want -- and even if I am successful for a time, it all comes back on. Like them, I return to what my body was and there seems no good way to change how I am. I keep turning this over to God and then taking it back again. I am not sure how to completely turn it over, so will ask Him about that.
Good luck and many blessings to you and yours and let me hear how you are doing from time to time, I really enjoyed your style.
Kindest Regards,
Marcia
Note: If you click on the word "comments" below that will open up a space to make a comment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)