Hungry for Change

I went to see the doctor today. I got a good report, so far. You know, the results are not in from the blood and urine tests, but I'm not expecting anything out of the ordinary. I warned her (my doctor) that my results may not be as stellar as I would like them to be because I gave up for a while.

I got inspired to get back on track last night, though, and I am happy for that. I'd been worrying about what I was doing, but could not seem to reel me in to the right path. That is what it is like for an addict, you know. You go off down the wrong road, but you don't really understand why you have to. You know you are compelled, but can't see why and don't have the strength to do what is right. You know you are not strong enough to not do it. If you come up with a reason, it does not help, anyway, because it is simply about the problem.... it is not the problem.

I had become tired of keeping track and not getting to the goal. The vision had faded away and I was haphazard with my record keeping. I think I lost faith in the path that I believed was the right one for me.  I believed that eating fresh raw vegetables and good quality protein was the road to success. It was part of the road to success, but it was not the whole road. The thing that I had been doing that had allowed me to actually lose weight was the twice weekly fast, but I was no longer doing that either. The thing that had helped me to feel physically vigorous was the thrice weekly water aerobics. So, proper diet, proper resting from eating, and proper exercise when coupled together were working for me.

But I found myself not adhering to my own cause. I had injured my knee and the recuperation took months. I still have phantom pains from time to time, but I can at least do my water aerobics, now... if I am careful... at least twice a week. But during that time that I could not do it at all, things just began to slip away from me. I could not stand and prepare my salads, and I had lost interest in them even before that happened so I was eating cooked veggies, instead. I was having episodes of binging on pizza, or ice cream and candy. I had begun to do that a couple of times a week rather than a couple of times a month. I was way off in the boonies... worried, but stuck. Unable to take positive action. I had even stopped writing my daily goals. I was dreading the doctor's appointment, too, because that is where the rubber meets the road and I did not want to look like a failure to her.

I prayed but I kind of wandered off from that, too. So glad that God does not forsake us, even when we seem to wander off. He is steadfast and faithful. He is always there, holding up the universe. And me.

I wanted to get back on track, but the thought was more than I could bear. Then I watched this movie on Netflix called: "Hungry for Change" and I got inspired again. When it was done I thought about my situation and suddenly a new idea occurred to me. For more than two years I had avoided fruit... and binged on pizza, ice cream, and candy. Why not swap the two? How about going back on the fresh raw veggies, the unprocessed meats, and add fruit to the mix? That way... when I wanted to binge I could do it on fruit, which had to be better for me than the other stuff I was binging on.

I checked the glycemic index and got a simple list of fruit. I redesigned my shopping list and darkened out the fruit on the list that were over 50 and allowed that I could eat the ones that were under 50. The smaller the number the better the binge. I went shopping and bought all the right stuff for this new change. Lettuce and colored peppers and tomatoes and avocados to begin with. I got eggs, tuna, hamburger, and chicken. I also got walnuts and raw almonds, plus a couple of apples and oranges.

A new program has been born and I am again excited to be doing it. I talked about it with my doctor and got the OK so I am going ahead again.

Amazingly I had only put on one pound at the DO. I know that I had put on at least seven pounds and had already taken it off again by paying attention to not eating carbs. God is so good!! And I am feeling it!!

I am back on track and moving ahead.

Hope you are doing well.

Be back soon,

Marcia