Appetite

Hi,

I was completely surprised when my Pastor pointed out this verse in his sermon last Wednesday night:

Romans 7:7  What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.

Until I heard him speak I did not realize that to covet and to lust were the same thing. I know. How odd that she did not know that.... I guess I just never put the two together. I've even read that verse before, more than once and did not see that aspect of it. I think I had a hard time with the word "covet." Any explanation or definition that I ever read still left me "in the dark." It was hard for me to "get."

I think it hit me like a brick while he was speaking because I had been thinking about "appetite" as it relates to food for a few days. With the fasting that I've been doing I've noticed that my appetite or desire for food has been altered. I feel as though I have more control, but that could just be a side effect of the fasting. I believe that if the circumstances were perfect for it, I would still crave the things I've always craved.

If I have a day in which I actually eat too lightly, then I start picturing food in my head before the next meal gets here. But the fasting has done something to how I feel about food and meals. I'm not sure I can put it into words, exactly, but I am aware of it and I like the change.

One of the things covered in AGD is "appetite" which is why I think it was on my mind. I really liked some of the ways the authors (John Barban and Mike Cecchin) have of looking at this subject. I believe the "voice" of the book is John so I will refer to him as the speaker. John says, "So we’re stuck with our desire to eat and our rational understanding that we need to eat less to lose weight." 

Right after that he says he thinks the magic bullet to control appetite is exercise. Of course, I immediately remembered how hungry I get after a work out so I'll hold that particular thought with a little skepticism right next to it.

Concerning carbs he says: "The key is moderation. If you know that you can’t
control yourself around a bag of cookies, then don’t buy them. If you’ve got enough control to actually eat just one or two cookies at a time, then go ahead and have them." I know where I stand and have to use the "don't buy them" approach to carbs and sweets. "The devil is in the dose," meaning overdosing on carbs causes weight gain. He also points out that buying a $4 bag of chips is no bargain if the end result is weight gain.

One of the things he said that really opened my eyes was this: "You don’t have a relationship with food, you have an appetite for food."

Yes! That one is really true. A relationship involves beings, as in human beings, as in family and friends, or co-workers. Other people. Food is not people. Food is an object for which we human beings have an appetite -- desire. What I call "the eating machine" is actually lust. Coveting. Appetite that is not necessarily in conjunction with hunger. I can be completely full and still have an appetite! Surprisingly I have found that fasting seems to somehow tame that tiger. Who knew?

You know, I weigh myself every day and average it out at the end of the week so I've been weighing myself as I've fasted. Fasting does not necessarily reduce my weight immediately. The number on the scale can even be affected by whether or not my digestive plumbing is running smoothly, or extra fast, or is stalled. The 16-hour per day fasting that I've been doing has opened my eyes to a new "body reality" but I'm still not actually losing weight as I would like to. I'm still going up and down and hovering around a 27 lb loss.

I'm not stuffing myself with big meals in between fasts. I'm not over eating. I've reduced the amount of beef and pork that I eat, too. Today, for instance, I had two eggs for breakfast but they did not stay with me for very long. In only a couple of hours I was very hungry, so I opened a can of tuna, cut up some tomato, zucchini, and yellow pepper to make myself a large one-bowl salad which filled me nicely. Four hours later I wanted some beef and chili cheese fries, so I had some for the last meal of the day. I wanted to eat beef just to keep me full. I wanted the c-c-fries just because I wanted them. I was afraid that I would be hungry all night long -- which I had not experienced for a while.

I wonder if it could be the unsweetened cranberry juice that I've been drinking to treat a UTI. That is the only change that I think could cause the eating machine to start rumbling again. I'm going to have to put up with it for a while, I guess, because I need to handle the UTI.

I also think it must be time to move to the once a week 24-hour fast and try that out. I will wait a couple of days to start on that. It might be better to wait until the UTI is cleared up, but that is the next thing I want to try.

I'm also beginning to incorporate some of the hints and tips from the "Anything Goes Diet," that I wrote about yesterday. I filled out the lists and signed the form to make it official. I will be re-reading the "Thinking Thin" and the "Social Settings" advice again to refresh my mind and my resolve. 

I'm not really going to be changing what I eat so much as paying attention to portions. I don't think I'm eating "too large" portions but I'll be more observant of the matter. I don't know what else I can cut out. I rarely eat sweets. I rarely eat starches. The fries today were the first in a rather long time. I don't even remember when the last time I had a starchy carb was. I suppose it was when I went to Golden Corral with a friend about two weeks ago. I still believe a cheat meal is necessary but don't have them every week. 

Maybe just using smaller plates and bowls will help as suggested in AGD. I already use my smallest plate, but the bowl I use for salad is like a small serving bowl. I think it probably holds about four cups. Most diets tell you that fresh raw veggies are unlimited so I did not think I needed to cut down on lettuce. I don't eat as many avocados as I used to. I eat a more modest amount of tomato on my salads, too. I sometimes have other raw veggies as toppings (zucchini or yellow peppers, etc.) but my salads are mostly greens. I can't see why I'm not losing weight.

Perhaps the once a week 24-hour fast will turn the trick. I'll still be doing the normal 12 to 14 hour daily fast but not the 16-hour while I'm doing the 24. Even after having fasted and rather enjoying the experience, I'm still a little afraid to start the 24-hour thing. Logically it does not make any sense that adding a few hours to the fast, especially since it is only once a week, should be that difficult. So I will try it and see how it goes.

I am having people remark about how much smaller I'm looking, though. I think I can see it in the mirror too. I noticed it today that my face seems slimmer. I like to put on a blouse that I used to wear, just to pull it out in front of me to see the big difference in my belly size. I'm buying clothes that are a size or two smaller (depending on the cut), but I'm really not seeing the kind of change I want on the scale.

Well... as I combine the Anything Goes Diet hints and tricks, and include the Eat Stop Eat fast, I'm hoping to see a downward trend on the scale. I'm still "swimming" three times a week, so maybe I'm building muscle which weighs more. I recently upped my routine by 10 reps per set, so, I guess something is happening.

My blood sugars are pretty good with only occasional highs (due to the UTI, I think). My blood pressure is moderately high still and that is not dropping any more either. I guess I'll just keep plugging along and see where I end up.

Be back soon,

Marcia