Understanding "Why" is Not Abstinance

Hi,

Part of the book "Anatomy of a Food Addiction: The Brain Chemistry of Overeating" by Anne Katherine, suggests that I need to seek out a support group or therapy group or sessions with a professional food addiction counselor. I would like to do that but have hardly an idea where or how to find one.

I began with my health insurance website. It showed me lists of either psychiatrists or psychologists but it does not mention if they know how to counsel and help those with food addictions. So that was kind of a blind alley. As I contemplated where I could find a group, I remembered OA (Overeaters Anonymous) so I began the search for a meeting close to me.

As I'm doing this, memories of having gone to a couple of OA meetings in the past, and also from attending many sessions of "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (neither of my parents were alcoholics, but one of my older brothers was) in the past pop into my mind. I'm reminded that they use the 12-step program and talk about a "Higher Power" -- both of which ideas are not appealing to me. I never actually worked the 12-step program in its strictest sense but read through it many times in the past and did do some of it, too. I also believe in Jesus, not just some generic "Higher Power" who is willing to go by any name someone wants to give him/her. I prefer to worship with others who believe in Jesus, alone. I know there are other recovery programs which are Christ centered so that seems to be where I should look next.

The two or three OA meetings I attended in the past did not leave me with a good impression. After I found out it was just two or three old ladies complaining about why things were not working, over and over, week after week, I went in search of some place where they were successful. I wanted results and support, not just whining.

I did find that OA has a monthly magazine which I thought might be useful to support myself until I find the right place for me to go, so I subscribed to their online version and began to read an old one.

I am still in the process of reading it, but have found that the front of the PDF magazine has short, but in depth, sharing from other overeaters who are overcoming through OA. What a blessing that these people have sincerely shared their stories. I am enjoying the read. One statement one person made that really stood out to me was "...I have learned that "why" is not a spiritual question. I have found that helpful and still believe it is true. (but) Self-knowledge didn't help me become abstinent....".

I was very glad to have read that statement. After my two previous posts which were about understanding why I overeat, I was having some very mixed emotions. I was glad to have gotten the revelations about my own past, but, having done psychotherapy in the past, and also observing my present behavior which has not seemed to have actually changed (I binged again) I was feeling stuck in an old familiar place that I had not visited for a long time.

I also felt guilty about my last post making my Mom look bad and maybe, if my family reads this, they might feel uncomfortable about them too. This was really the first time I had ever shared with anyone some of the darker inner workings of my family, and in such a public way. I am somewhat embarrassed by it. I've considered removing it from public view, but also thought that it may be of use to someone else who may have lived through similar circumstances. I also know that my blog is read by only a few people so while it is still public, the entire public does not really know about it. I don't have any delusional worries that it might go viral or anything like that. Chuckling. So... until I have some really compelling reason to remove it, I shall let it stand, just so that that one person who may find something of use from it, can find it.

The subject I want to look at today is the one in the title: "Understanding "Why" is Not Abstinance"

And wow, is that true. Understanding why you overeat is important but it probably will not change anything, except maybe how you feel about yourself -- which is definitely a good thing -- but it won't make you thin. Understanding why you overeat may assuage the soul for a time, but abstinance is what will heal the body.

While I was writing today I got interrupted by a few phone calls. When I was done with the calls, I got out my green notebook and began searching for the print out of the post that I had made about the eating program I was doing at the time. When I found it, I was surprised by the date: Jan 9, 2012 because it was more than a year ago. I also noticed that I was already doing once a week fasts in August of 2012. I don't want to go into the "how I got off track" story right now, I just wanted to get back on track with my eating.

I've got the fasting down pretty good, I think. I just want to support myself better in the in-between times so I can actually see a reduction on the scale and an improvement in my body. I already know that if I eat like a sumo wrestler between fasts, I'm not going to end up thin so I am going to go back to my fresh raw veg and protein way of eating. Plus one cheat meal per week plus two 24-hour fasts on non-consecutive days. That should keep me busy just keeping track! LOL

I keep running into the fact that I cannot follow what other people do. Other people are not me. Other people have other needs than what I have. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I need to eat fresh raw veg and protein and I need to fast twice a week. Sometimes I need to fast three times in the week. I also know that one cheat meal during the week is good for more than just emotional reasons. There are good physical reasons why one cheat meal makes good sense. (You can look it up if you are interested.)

The plan is now formulated. I will have to first get the right kind of food in the house. Second I will have to follow the plan. If I don't follow the plan, I will not make good effective changes in my life. So following the plan is imperative.

What I will be abstaining from will be processed foods, high carbs, dairy, peanut butter, and sugars. What I will eat will be fresh raw vegetables, some cooked veg, unprocessed or "not manufactured" protein, lots of fresh water and once a week a "no holds barred" cheat meal that lasts no longer than one hour. Saturday seems like a good day for that.

So I will begin when I get the right food in the house. I don't have much to clean out because, basically, I don't have much food in the house right now so that part is handled.

One last thing. I need to set my starting date. I'd like to just say "now" but I'm not set up for success yet. As usual the first thing that pops into my mind is all the obstacles to starting. Lunch date with friends on Saturday. A week out of town starting next weekend. But I also know that if I just start the plan, at the appropriate time, these are not really obstacles. I can find the right kind of food, no matter where I am, if I am actually looking for it.

Looking is a big part of living. Looking, to me, means not only what I happen to see out in the world with my own two eyes, but what I linger on and what I think about. Looking is about what I am picturing in my head. So... if I'm looking for the good stuff, the bad stuff is not so noticeable. Of course, days one, two, three, and maybe a little farther on, I will need to remind me to look at the good stuff in my mind.

Imagine eating fresh raw vegetables. Imagine them on my plate. Imagine filling at least half of my plate with fresh raw sparkling attractive veg and the other half has a combination of cooked veg and high quality protein. Mmmmm' Mmmmmm' Good!!

Anyway, that is where I am today.

Love you,

Be back soon

Marcia