One Done, But Don't Keep Score

Hi,

I got through the spaghetti dinner and did not indulge!! Praise the Lord. I actually helped with the cooking, too. The Lord gave me the strength to not even be tempted. Later, as I sat and conversed with friends who were eating spaghetti and all the trimmings, I had almost no desire to eat the food that I knew would cause a bad reaction in my body. I did get hungry but the Lord gave me no way to eat any of that food. I went home and ate a proper meal of good green salad and then later, some tuna salad.

I am again reminded of the scripture "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." from Php 4:13.

I know that this was only one battle but I am fully prepared to turn to the Lord at the first sign of the addiction creeping back in -- by the pictures in my mind. I know I must watch and pray lest I enter into temptation.  And keeping score of that would serve no purpose. Watching and praying -- now that serves a purpose.

By the way, I have now lost 19 pounds. Praise the Lord! Nothing motivates like success!

I don't know exactly what it is like for you, but for me, diabetes and obesity is the result of addiction to processed foods and refined carbohydrates (like things made with white flour and sugar), and starchy vegetables. I even believe that cheese, other than feta cheese, and possibly cottage cheese once in a while, must remain off of my menu, too, because of my addictive behaviors associated with eating them. No grains of any kind because it is the sensitivity to carbs (and there are a lot of carbs in any grain product) that causes my body to be insulin resistant which converts the foods that I was eating into the fat on my belly and the hidden problems that were not visible without blood tests. And now I know for sure that fruit is not on my menu, at this time, either. Not until my uric acid levels come down to normal and fruit no longer makes a blood sugar spike. That may be never -- but I don't care -- I just want to be in the best health I can be and if not eating fruit heads me in the right direction, so be it.

I think that if someone would have told me a year ago, what I would be eating in December of 2010, I would have wondered about their sanity. But here I am. Working my way through the things I have to work through in order to get my body healthy and to lose weight. Here I am, no longer worried about what I should not eat but focusing on the many foods I can eat. A whole different arena has opened up for me. I used to bypass the vegetables and wonder about it. Now, that is where I head first and I happily fill up my cart. Praise the Lord! I am not 100% raw, and am not worried about that, either. My doctor says anywhere from 50 to 80 percent will improve health. Some days are 100%. Some days are less and I'm not keeping score on that either as long as the majority is fresh raw vegetables, I am good to go.

I notice also that I have a desire to help others in this same position, but I also know, from experience, that if they don't see the light -- they won't follow the path. It almost does not matter what information you share, they get the concept, but there is no decision on their part to make the change. The biggest obstacle is that they completely believe they are incapable of changing their diet in any significant way to reach significant results. Been there. Done that. Repeated failure and a bruised mind leads to belief in impossibility. It does not have to remain that way.

There is one lovely diabetic and obese friend whom I have conversed with many times concerning this problem. I had another conversation with her yesterday at the spaghetti dinner. I wish she would at least try something. I understand the position she is in. She has tried many times in the past, just like I did, and failed miserably. The real problem I had was trying "diets" that others worked out for themselves and not delving into what really works for me. Some people are successful at following someone else's plan, and I say, go for it. If it works don't fix it. But my body did not respond in the predicted ways and I had no idea why or what to do about it.

It is so hard to try and try and not be successful -- even though, in the end, it is not the person who is a failure, but the "experts" and their diets that have failed them. Soon the lament becomes, "I've tried and failed, I am not able -- there is something wrong with me and I can't fix it." I know just how daunting the repeated experience of failure can be.

Trying to face a diet regimen even one more time is beyond comprehension when you are in that space. The idea of not even the remotest possibility of being successful becomes a self defeating nightmare, or at best a very painful joke from the universe. The very idea that you could be successful begins to be so far beyond comprehension that it stops being a consideration. My gosh, even describing it here is depressing. We end up thinking we are broken, when in reality, it was the expert information we were following that was broken and dooming us to failure.  If you are following the wrong map, you will not end up where you thought you were going.

We did not fail, the diets failed us. To be successful you must look in another arena. We have to wipe the standard American diet right off the board, and begin to add in only what God created -- in the state that He created it: unprocessed, whole foods. (Eating raw foods can be done in small steps, too, and what percentage of raw food you end up with is up to you and what works for you.) There are plenty of good wholesome foods, too. I think there are so many different kinds of greens available that you could try one every day for two weeks and not eat the same one twice. It is certainly not boring and I am amazed at how absolutely satisfying His food is. It sits on the tummy nicely, too.

I don't recall what it was that got me to try again, except that I had seriously begun to pray that God would deliver me from obesity. I knew I could not do it, but continued to pray trusting that He could do what I could not. I had seen that others had accomplished what I only dreamed of, so it had to be possible for me too. I continued to turn to the Lord and ask to be delivered from obesity. God heard my prayers and the process began.

My Pastor was teaching out of the book of Nehemiah this morning and the sermon was about standing on the wall, continuing to work to build the wall and the gates of Jerusalem, no matter what the temptations to come down from the wall, were. No matter what manipulation that Sanbalatt came up with, Nehemiah simply refused to go down to the Valley of Ono to talk, when his mission was to rebuild the walls. That is what standing fast in faith looks like.

Nehemiah on the wall is about the stand that was required and the process that it took. God did not miraculously build the walls before their eyes. They had to build the wall brick by brick in obedience and faith. Similarly, each meal either builds health or tears it down. If what you are eating is not healthy, it is then, unhealthy, by default, and that is pretty much all there is to it. The Lord told me what to eat for years, but I did not put it into real practice. I had many beliefs, misconceptions, and downright lusts to get through, over, or around before the results began to come. The process still goes on for me. I have many  more pounds to lose but if I were to focus only on that, I know me, I would get discouraged by the volume. So I don't focus on the amount. I focus on taking the stand, and supporting the process. That is actually an adventure.

I have to focus on what I put in my mouth with my hands, right now, and make sure it fits the criteria that I now know I need it to fit so I reach the goal. My goal is health, not losing weight, even though I do get excited when I discover I have lost weight. If I had focused only on the weight from the beginning, I am afraid I would have given up because the weight was actually the last thing to fall into place for me.  First my blood sugars improved and my blood pressure lowered, but the weight was not affected except minimally from June through the middle of October. This current round that is including the loss of weight did not turn the corner until I completely dropped out grains on October 20th. Then I began to see results in the weight loss department, too.

This current meal is the most important one. If it is healthy I will be helping to continue to heal my body. If it is unhealthy I will be continuing to put up roadblocks to my own success.  Diabetes is the hand and mouth disease. What I pick up with my hand and put in my mouth will affect my health. And sometimes the reactions are immediate like blood sugar numbers, and sometimes they are so slow they are not noticeable for years like cancer or hardening of the arteries. Each and every meal counts. Each and every snack counts. I think my previous downfall came because I thought they did not matter. I was wrong. Each mouthful matters.

And now the Lord has given me another piece of the puzzle: how to deal with temptation. Temptation is actually a spiritual matter that unfolds in the mind, and ends up affecting the body.

"Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Mark 14:38

Thank you, dear Lord, for delivering me from obesity. I am on my way, and I am grateful.

Be back soon

--Marcia