Placing My Trust

Discovering that I was trusting the process of eating is an amazing revelation to me. I was completely unaware until yesterday (see previous day's post) that eating was the thing I really trusted in. I am not sure that I have my understanding around this whole thing completely but I've been more aware since my last post and am still a little flabbergasted by it. And glad, too.

Last night as I was watching a video about creation and science I noticed I was reacting to it emotionally. I was feeling scared. I really don't know exactly why but I also noticed that I wanted to "get away" from those feelings and I started to think about binge foods. This time, though, was different, because I was also observing and understanding my reaction in a new light.

As I sat there, kind of scared, and beginning to desire to take my attention away from that by going to get some food, I simply continued to sit there, feeling, and observing what was going on without taking any of my previously normal actions.

I thought about trusting the Lord instead, so that I had the experience of not exactly merging them but of allowing the trusting to refocus on what I know about the Lord Jesus. I know that he loves me. I trust that he loves me. I know that he is constant and never changes. I trust that He is eternal. I know that he is trustworthy. I trust in His goodness and strength and power. He is more than able to carry me through. "I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me."

As I sat there trusting Jesus, I saw the "binge" disappear. I felt the scary feelings, but did not panic. In far less than a minute those scary feelings simply faded away. I went through them and let them happen and did not die. I simply remained where I was and felt good as I trusted in the Lord. Then I prayed and thanked Him. It is so good to no longer be alone. To no longer be so overwhelmingly responsible, or to blame, on my own. I am loved and I am worthwhile.

This is the first time I found a better way to respond. A way to simply let that feeling happen without resorting to my previous avoiding behavior which was always to eat something. I feel like Jesus has set me free, at last. I suddenly have new behavior muscles and I look forward to exercising them.

I am now interested in trusting. I had not realized about "placing my trust" and what that meant. Thank you, Lord.


I usually have much more to say about stuff but I feel this one speaks for itself.

Today I am feeling free in the Lord, and kind of back to my real self again. He has made me "able." I'm actually looking forward to trusting Him. Anticipating trusting Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit. Anticipating and experiencing the newness in Him.

God's mercies are new every morning. Did you ever wonder why his mercies are new every morning? It is because he, Himself, is new every morning. God is ancient but he never grows old. He is as young and new now, as he ever was, and always will be. He is eternal and unchanging. He lives outside of time and aging. He is always new. His goodness is always new, His infinity is always new. Just think what he has made us: a new creation, in Him. We have eternal life in His son, My Savior, Jesus Christ. His mercy is new every afternoon and evening, too!! God is so good and so amazing! Praise the Lord beyond words!

God bless!!

Be back soon,

Marcia