Day 48 Hannah Episode

Hi,

As I was eating my breakfast salad I watched an old episode of Hannah Montana on TV. I broke into the middle of it and her brother (I can't remember his name) is wigging out on eating chocolate, drinking maple syrup from the container with a straw, and eating more candy. He is portraying the eating machine. As I watched I thought it was a good episode for kids to watch because it was letting them see what candy does to you by making some kids hyperactive, and then there was a dream sequence where he had gotten really really fat and could not get up from his chair to chase after a couple of girls (the worldly teenager's main occupation). Then he suddenly wakes up from his dream, covered with empty candy wrappers, but in his normal sized body again. He realizes he needs to stop this candy binge that he is on and makes a vow not to eat any more as he throws the half eaten candy bar in his hand into the trash. Then he did something that really struck me. As he ran away from the scene of the crime, to make a positive change in his life, he turned back to the trash can, stuck out his hand towards it making a grabbing motion with his hand, and mouthed the words, "I love you" before he caught himself and turned again to run on to a better life style.

What came immediately to my mind was "Remember Lot's wife" -- a line from the Bible where Lot's wife had turned back to see Sodom and Gomorrah being destroyed by God and she turned into a pillar of salt. Then I thought about my own life style changes and how hard it would be if I was still mooning over eating pornographic food. In fact that is exactly what happened with the quiche episode. I turned to the forbidden food and said "I love you," stuck out my hand, picked it up, put it in my cart, purchased it, unpacked it at home, opened it up, and had a piece. Then another piece. Then later I had two more pieces. By the end of the day it was gone. I guess the point of all this is that it finally struck me that turning back like that to "bad food" is not going to get me to the place I want to end up. It just keeps me stuck in a place I don't really want to be because it is so self destructive.

I am glad that the Lord is guiding me and helping me to see that I can cling to Him for help. Last night, I went to Sweet Fellowship but got there purposefully late. The meal was over and they were singing a song -- which by the way -- had also been on the radio as I pulled up to the house. In my mind I wished we could sing that song at Sweet and when I opened the door, I could hear them singing that song. It was a confirmation from God that He is watching over me.

As I stated in the blog yesterday, I was worried that I might not have the strength to eat right there, so this is what I did. I prayed and asked God to help me to eat right. Even though I was not hungry (it was actually a meal time, though) I made a big salad and ate it before I left as a way to help me avoid the temptation to eat wrong things. I prayed again in the car before I pulled out. I planned to arrive a little late, so it would be easier to avoid the food table. And realized that when it was over, there is another eating session, but Edith served me a bowl of left over curried chicken with a few small hunks of potato which I ate. Then we sat and talked for a while at the table before I took my leave. I am happy to say that the Lord encouraged me with the song, and gave me the strength to eat only what was good for me. I am grateful.

I want to face the good things and say, "I love you" -- not the bad things. I don't want to be the living pillar of salt, frozen in bad habits. Especially in the food and eating arena. It is an arena because there is a lot of activity going on there and I want the activity to be worthwhile in my life. There does not seem to be a lot of sense to eating pornographic food which will harm my body, when there is always plenty of good food to eat that will not only not harm it, but will actually help and heal it. Thank God for His abundance.

That was my daily encouragement. I still plan on making the schedule, which I think will support me to be aware of what I am eating, making sure I take care of what I need to take care of, without making me crazy like counting calories does. I am still re-reading the book and getting reinforcement to support me in following the program and not letting me turn into a pillar of salt.

Be back soon

--Marcia