New Hope

Hi,

I went to my doctor today. I've got to tell you I really struggled with whether I was going to go or not, but finally realized that if I did not go, what would I have? Just all my struggle and pain. At least if I went, I would get it over with. So I went. And am I glad I did!!

First off, she was not happy with my weight GAIN -- I was so embarrassed I did not even ask her how much it was -- but I saw the scale and think that it was only a couple of pounds. I checked my weight before I left and knew that even my scale said I put on a pound today, and her scale always weighs me ten pounds more than mine, so my heart kind of sank when I saw that. But I went anyway.

I had been practicing in my mind what I was going to say. What excuses I was going to come up with to explain my bad behavior and lack of will power. I even got out the notebook I had kept my calorie count in, and I went through each day, remembering what I had done and looking at the end of the day totals. I counted the number of entries and found that I had tried for 15 days before I finally just quit.

I looked at what I had been eating and got a different picture than what had been in my mind. I noticed that when I started counting calories, all the good stuff I had learned in The 30 Day Diabetes Cure, just sort of flew out the window. I was still eating salads but not as many as I thought I was.  The calorie totals at the end of the day were up and down every other day, and I was so very embarrassed that I had so little self control.

I felt that, perhaps, if my personal doctor had not put me on the calorie counting regimen, that the 30 Day Diabetes Cure might have eventually worked better for me, but when I had to superimpose the calorie counting over the program, it was too much. I think that if you are going to do a program, you cannot impose another program over the top of it. I don't know. It is frustrating. 

I toyed with the idea to just leave the book at home, because I did not really want her to see it. But I took it with me when I went. And even as I was wondering why it was happening I walked out the door, got in my car and drove to the appointment. When I got there I was four minutes early. So did not have to feel bad about being late, too.

When I finally got to see Dr. Robbins we started to talk. I had been thinking about what I should do next, since what I had been trying did not work, and I had remembered a program that she had suggested to me on the first day I went to see her. I felt that I had tried that program before and did not want to do it again, so simply refused it. I did purchase a book she recommended, and discovered it was of no interest to me, as it seemed to be all the standard stuff that I had read many times before. But today, after having gone through two months of struggling and getting no where in the weight department, I thought that maybe I should try things her way. So, I asked her if I could try that program out. 

She was very kind and said that many people have trouble with the calorie counting method. Whew. I felt better about that, at least. And we started to talk about the Raw Food Program that she recommends. I found out that she has a class scheduled on the last Saturday in September from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and had room for one more person. I raised my hand and volunteered. I will just have to come up with the money some how. I paid for half of it and will pay the other $88 dollars by the 17th. In the class she will be teaching us how to prepare our foods raw and will be demonstrating exactly how to do, and there will be food to take home. So that is interesting.

I started asking for details and found out that I could eat some fruit (apples, grapefruit, and berries) on the program. Any vegetables I want are included. No beef, no grains. Bean sprouts are OK, but not cooked beans. Raw nuts and seeds are good. I can have some home made chicken soup once in a while. She said that there are many versions of the Raw Food diet, all the way from the Food Nazi who believes that you should eat only one hundred percent raw food to those more moderate folks who eat, say, 80% raw foods. She said that she herself eats 50% raw foods, so there is a lot of leeway in how you do it. It boils down to simply doing what works for you. She said she had a friend who had done it and lost sixty pounds rather quickly. So I am going to try the program out on my own, in the time between now and the class, with the things that I listed at the start of this paragraph and see what happens. I figure that way, I will be ahead of the game, and may have better questions to ask.

I have got to tell you this is a real relief for me. A new direction to head. I had done a program rather similar to this in the nineties called "The McDougall Program" which, at that time, was a totally vegan, starch based diet. I did lose a massive amount of weight. I am sorry to say that I cannot tell you exactly how much I lost because I did not know what my weight was when I started out. I did not have a scale that went up high enough. My belief at this point in time is that I weighed about 360 or there abouts. I got myself down to 297 which would have been a 63 pound loss, but, at the time, I felt like it was 100 pounds, so that is what I told people. I got off of that one when I moved to Georgia and was living with some friends who ate the Standard American Diet and because of circumstances I could not afford to buy my own food and cook it, so I remained a vegan but my choices of food got narrowed down to the mashed potatoes and green beans that were served at the meal, without any  meat. My weight loss, came to a complete halt, and the frustration began.

Even before I got here and that happened I had noticed that my feet and ankles had started to swell and I did not know why. Every day, I had to come home and put my feet up for the swelling to go down, and every evening when I came home they were swollen again. Today when I talked to Dr. Robbins I told her about that and she said that if I include a little protein in my diet (the fish, and I am thinking hard boiled eggs, too, and maybe some feta cheese) that the swelling would not happen. I think she is right, because from my own observations it seems to be that if I eat too many starchy type foods (potatoes, pasta, bread) my feet swell up. That is actually why I asked for the diuretic that I am taking in the first place: to keep the swelling down. It works well as long as I don't eat many starches.

As I was driving home I thought about the 30 Day Diabetes Cure and wondered if I had read the program without realizing that I should be eating raw foods. Dr Ripich does not specifically point it out that way, so maybe I missed that as I read, but he had directed me to eating more vegetables which I was doing in the raw state, but I was still eating dairy which is not allowed on the new program, and definitely not the whole grains. Perhaps for someone who is of a smaller girth than I am, it would work better, but mine is an extreme case, so I am about to take an extreme measure to combat it.

I asked my doctor if I would really be able to eat fruit, and wondered about the blood sugars, but she seemed confident that if I did this program that I would lose the weight, and get off of all my medications, and not have to worry about the blood sugars. That sounded good to me, so I am about to begin.  By Saturday, I hope to have all the bad food out of the house, and only the good stuff will be here. Some of it I will eat, some of it I will give away, and some of it I will toss out. But Saturday is the day I shall begin doing Marcia's version of the Raw Food Program. With  my doctor's help, I can adjust things as I go along. My next appointment is in October, so, after I have taken the class, I will have two weeks more to see if it really does work for me. I hope to have lost a few pounds by then. God willling.

The last thing she told me, was that with this program you are not left with a lot of flappy skin. She said that something in the enzymes that are contained in raw foods prevents that from happening. Another big plus!!

Be back soon,

--Marcia