Hi,

Long time, no hear.

I just got the following comment:

Bec said...
    Hi! I really like reading your blog. I am interested in this program also. I had a brother that died from type 1 diabetes complications. My husband is pre-diabetic with high blood pressure. I have friends that are diabetic and do the finger testing for the blood sugar. I don't want to do that. I also don't want to take high blood pressure meds. So I will be following your blog to see how you are doing. (I too am obese!)(My husband has lost 120 pounds jut by writing down everything he eats. His nutritionist has him counting calories, fat, and sodium.) Good Luck and God Bless~ Becky - from MI
    August 31, 2010 12:48 PM
    
    Here is my response:
   
    So glad to hear from you. I had kind of left off blogging because I did not want to share that I'm having trouble keeping on track. In the last blogs that I posted, it should seem apparent that that is the problem. I am still eating the right kinds of foods and doing minimal exercise, but just do not seem to be losing weight. I shall make your comment and my response my latest blog entry. Good to hear from you and God bless you -- Marcia





Yeah, I have just been wandering around eating whatever I wanted (within reason)

But I am still thinking about what I should be doing. As I wrote that last sentence I was Wowed by how obvious that statement is. It's like I prefer to simply worry than to take action. I was going to say "That is not good." but I also don't want to wallow in it. I just need to do what Bec's husband is doing. Nothing motivates like success! I have no idea how many times I said I was going to start keeping track of my eating it has just not really happened to the degree that it needs to.  I never set up the menu plan. I did not set up the schedule I promised you and myself that I would do.

I went crazy with the calorie counting -- but I've never described what makes me so crazy. Before I go into that I want to mention that I recently was at YouTube.com and watched some videos of a program on British TV called "Supersize vs Superskinny." Each clip is only a few minutes long and you don't get to see the whole program but I was completely enthralled with what I was watching as I went from clip to clip observing. As time has passed I have been thinking about that program where a super skinny person and a super obese person do a one-week eating clinic where each one prepares meals for themselves and then swaps it for the other person's meals for a week. In essence the supper skinny must eat the obese person's meals and the super obese must eat the super skinny person's meals. Since each one has their own distorted eating filters that they view the world and their eating habits through it was quite amazing to watch them interact as they sit across from each other commenting on what is taking place. They also have a coach who speaks to them from time to time on the clips. I am sure the coach is on hand through it all, but you don't see him often.

So, I have been thinking. What I think is happening is that each one is beginning to realize that how they have viewed their eating habits is not the only way to look at things. It appears to me that the super skinny person is getting to see the gargantuan meals that it takes to become super obese. I am hoping that what that means is that they begin to realize they can eat more than they have been eating and will not become fat because I just really don't think they are going to take on those habits. It is just a way to show them the extremely wide range there is between what they actually eat and what it really takes to become fat -- which is what they fear more than anything else. So perhaps they will trust that they can eat healthy and not become obese.

On the other side of the table is the super obese person, like me, and they are beginning to see what small portions a super thin person eats and is satisfied with. I hope they are beginning to understand that those tiny meals are not good either. That there is a place, somewhat close to the super skinny portions, but not exactly there. Perhaps it will help to connect in their minds that their fat does actually come from what they eat. I know for a long time, there was no connection between the two in my head -- and I am still not sure there is.

I am getting the idea that since I have changed what I eat, I now need to focus on healthy portions. I shy away from using the words "healthy portions" because, in my mind, that was always a huge heaping helping of hospitality -- a mound or mountain of food. But a truly healthy portion is what you need to get, or to remain, healthy. For some it is more food, for some, like me, it is less.

I have no idea how the TV program ends or what happens for the "contestants" because I have not seen any "end" clips -- but I would assume the thin person puts on a few pounds, and the fat one loses some weight in the process. But the goal has got to be to bring both extremes to moderate eating habits and a realization of what that really is. It will take letting go of old habits for some new ones to take hold. Which is, essentially what Bec's husband has done with his tight monitoring and journaling and counting of calories, fat, and sodium. He has changed his eating habits. I hope they stick with him. It is common knowledge that many people who go on a diet and monitor their eating will at some point stop doing that and can gain it back. I hope his mentors will be around to help him with that.

Now, back to the calorie counting making me crazy. I think what happened there was that I just could not believe that what I was eating or wanted to eat was "bad." I was not eating candy bars, and potatoes. In fact, when I am on track, I eat only salad with fresh raw vegetables and a little protein, with a starchy-type carb thrown in once a day. I had switched to healthy fats, did not eat sugar in nearly any form including no fruits or juice, and still did not lose weight. Sure my blood pressure went down to a better range. My A1c went down .4 but my weight continued to fluctuate within my normal 10 pound fluctuation range. And my doctor put me on this 1800 calorie a day diet. I was beginning to feel starved which is hard to deal with especially when I knew that I was not eating stuff I should not be eating. Or, at least, that is my belief. So. After viewing the TV program clips and thinking about that, I am wondering if perhaps I need to pay closer attention to portions.  If it is not WHAT I am eating, it must be HOW MUCH -- and I'm going to throw in HOW OFTEN, also.

There has got to be a way to conquer this weight problem. The weight problem is a result of an eating problem. And the eating problem is a result of how I think of and/or relate to food. There may also be some other physical thing going on that I am not aware of, but my doctor really has tested my blood in every which way but loose and never mentioned one. I think this metabolism problem is also affected by exercise or activity level, too. I spend a lot of time on the computer -- especially when I am blogging -- so I may or may not blog every day -- but I will be hot on the trail to find what works for me. I'll be testing and seeing and relating what is going on as soon as it seems appropriate. I'll be talking to God about this too -- because I need His help. So please pray for me to find the way of escape every day. It is almost like every day needs its own way of escape. When I have a better way to name it, I may do that, too. When I have a handle on it, I will share.

If you have a handle on it. Please share with me.

Also, I am really liking this web site: http://www.diabeticconnect.com/

Be back soon

--Marcia