What Was I Thinking!?!

Hi

I just got an e-mail from a long time friend who said she was checking out my blog. (Hi Suzanne!) In her note she shared that she was diagnosed three years ago with prediabetes and through a step by step life style program she has slowly lowered her weight and does not take meds. She said, "It sure is a day by day take action in my own life kind of thing. It still is a day to day work in progress and I am very thankful for Life." Great going Suzanne!!

When I read her note, I suddenly realized that I have been trying to reverse my prediabetes and it turns out to be more of a monitoring program than a "get rid of" program. My own experience has seemed to verify that I need to change my thinking -- yet again. I am now hovering around a 20 pound weight loss since Oct 19, but have been making it teeter totter with cravings and tip toeing along the curb instead of striding down the sidewalk. My mind now seems to be focusing on "what I can get away with" rather than "walking the line." I don't know when that started to happen -- but I think it is the result of my "holiday shuffle."  I started shuffling the standards of what I eat. "You know... it's the holidays!  Have a little fun! Don't be so stodgy. Live a little!"

Unfortunately when you shuffle your eating menu to begin to allow things that you should not consume, you have just made a wrong decision. When you tell yourself you can handle this, and convince yourself that "later on" you can easily get back on track -- that does not create "Live a Little" -- it, ironically, produces "Die a Little." It is that same old addictive thinking again. You are hoodwinking yourself! Maybe I need to go ahead and delve into the "Fat Brain Lies" book again that I started a while ago and had put on the shelf until I got some "before pictures" to paste in the book. I'm going to get it out and start doing it.

I feel rather discouraged that I have not been able to lose more weight or control my eating the way I think it should be done. I did notice today that thinking about the "consequences" really does seem to guide me to better choices and I need to continue doing that. Somehow I seemed to think that I could go back to the same old eating habits and still wander my way to good health. There is something of a rebellion going on and that cannot be good. Right now, I am not even sure I know how my eating can be controlled.

I really am discouraged. But I am not going to stay there. I will take a look at what I really need to do and begin doing it fresh and new. I have been doing my exercise three days a week for a few months -- even though sometimes it is by the skin of my teeth -- I have been doing it. I exercised on Monday and will again tomorrow.

I am doing my stretchy bands and paying attention to slow and steady in both directions and also making sure I am putting more tension on the bands, too. The tension can be increased simply by stepping a little farther away from where they are fastened. After the bands, I do my Aerofit for 12 minutes but at the five minute mark I go as fast as I can for 30 seconds, and then slow back down to a walk. After two more minutes I go as fast as I can go for another 30 seconds and then cool down to the end. Sometimes my back hurts by that time but I just keep going to the 12 minute mark.

I need to pray about this. I have been praying about it and need to continue turning to the Lord because I just feel a little stumped or thwarted in my efforts and determination. I need His help.

I really am not going to let this get me down, I intend to get back on track and will report as that happens.

Short post. It is late. Just wanted to share where I am.

Still Praising God!!

Love you,

Be back soon,

--Marcia