Thoughts on Quitting

Hi,

As I walked on my Airofit (discovered that I've been spelling it incorrectly) machine for a 3-minute jaunt after having been on the computer for a while I recalled what I had said in my last post about "quitting" -- or really the "fear of failure." I thought about the experience of quitting.

Quitting makes you feel bad. I think sometimes we think we feel bad, then quit -- but if you feel bad and keep going, you can get past it. If you quit, you just stay there and feel bad.

I think my thoughts previous to that were to recall that I had been introduced to juicing and Jay Kordich (The Juice Man) many years ago. I had even bought a juicer which I used a few times and quit using because it was such a nuisance to clean every time you used it. I thought about where I would be now if I had not done that.

I thought about that scripture that says: "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." 2Ti 3:7

Of course that is about the truth of Jesus Christ, but I think it applies to life in general, too. At least it appears to apply to my life in general.

When I saw the Juice Man infomercial so many years ago, I was hooked but I was not, shall we say "baptized" in it. It was only good information to me. I was convinced that I should try it, but not convinced that I should continue it. I see that I relate to a lot of things that way.

I notice it going on with my physical therapist right now. She is telling me that I need to get a few tennis balls and put them in a sock so I can place them on my body and apply self therapy to the parts of my body that need to have the "fascial layer" adjusted. This layer, as I understand what she says, is like the thin skin under the outer skin on a chicken. I'm sure you must have run into that very thin nearly transparent layer of very thin skin that is outside the muscles. My PT says humans have this too, and she has a whole system of adjusting and releasing this "fascial layer" of skin. She is in earnest and teaches this as if it were the truth. It does not seem anything but one more wacky alternative therapy idea to me. I listen to her. I watch what she does. I see how it feels when she does it to me as a therapist, but... really? I don't get it. So I have not actually gone out and bought any tennis balls or socks to put them in. I more or less humor her but cannot picture that this is going to do anything long term. She still does it for herself. I'm not sure it is something that I would actually incorporate. I need more evidence, or something. But what if, I just did it? What if, I let go and simply trusted her word? That would be different.

I've been watching the "Sick, Fat, and Nearly Dead" video again. As I view it over and over I'm seeing things that I did not notice on the first viewing. I've begun to see that there is a real commitment needed to stick with it. Joe had had experience with it before but this time he committed to not going back to his old ways when the fast was finished. He continued to eat vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds and to exercise and he went on to lose the excess weight and get off all prescription drugs. He no longer suffers from outbreaks of his uticaria, an autoimmune disease that affects the skin.

Phil said something that stood out to me. It was about his having failed at a lot of things, but being committed to getting healthy and then he did all that he needed to do from juicing to exercising to consulting with his doctor.

The last statement Joe made to Phil as he was leaving him on his own to do the journey by himself after helping to get him started was: It is going to be hard, but you can do it.

I wonder how committed I am. Am I willing to do the hard part? I need to talk to my doctor (this is the week end) soon and get permission to do the fast. I believe she will give me the permission because she has actually been trying to get me to do something similar all along. She advocates a raw lifestyle coupled with green smoothies. I don't like green smoothies and all the preparations but I'm looking forward to juicing. I know it has actually about the same preparations but the results are drinkable. I relate to smoothies like they are "sludge"... pretty unappetizing -- but a nice glass of green juice, that sounds good to me.

I got my bathing suits yesterday and tried them on. I am going to keep both of them. They are not the same size, but the suits themselves are identical except for the color. They are far from attractive but they fit the bill -- and, by the way, ain't no 340 pound woman going to look attractive in a swim suit, so I am glad I can get it on my body and it is acceptable attire for the activity I desire to begin doing.

I had to make some adjustments to the suits. There is nothing that is more of a nuisance than swim suit straps that keep falling down so I took a piece of the useless belt and sewed it across the back connecting the straps to keep them from falling down. I also reduced the bosom area slightly with a few tucks. I feel more secure in the suits, now. We have a pool in the park I live in, but I'm not ready to go out in the sun, yet. My skin burns very easily and when I was a kid I burned my back to the blister stage quite a few times. So am going to check out the indoor pool that is up the road. Will probably sign up for a membership and take a class or two, but am looking forward to simply exercising and hanging out in the pool on a weekly basis.

To go back to the main subject, I've been looking at why I quit doing things. It is usually because things get to be a huge repetitive bother to me. I just get tired of doing them. Especially if the desired results are not forthcoming. One of the things I noticed in my last viewing of the film is that the juicing did not instantaneously make the guys slim, they had to keep juicing for a long period of time. They had to exercise and be committed to both the juicing and the activity. They were committed to doing it, and were willing to wait for the results -- counting each small milestone as enough encouragement to keep doing it.

Nothing was said about this but I wonder how often they went to the grocery store. At one point they posted how much it cost to juice every day. In Iowa when the film was made it was near $23-$25 dollars per day for fresh produce. There are shots of Phil going to the market and buying his produce in a large box. He turns into a healthy young man right before your very eyes but it takes 60 days to do it.

I wonder what will happen to me. I am already an old retired lady. My doctor told me that when you reduce using raw foods, which translates into raw fruits and vegetables, nuts, and seed, you don't get that hanging flesh like you get when you do the stomach stapling. If you reduce using fruits, veggies, and exercise, your body actually heals itself from the hanging flesh, too.

I've seen some older folks who actually look older when they reduce because their skin is so much more wrinkly. Maybe that is how I will end up. Why should I care about a few wrinkles if I can get rid of the tires and basketballs that are hanging off of the front and back of my body right now? I've always been a little vain about the fact that people cannot usually guess my age and some of them are actually flabbergasted when I tell them how old I am. I think I would rather be able to walk and climb stairs and sit in an airplane seat comfortably while looking my age. Who knows? I don't know how it will be, but I would like the opportunity to find out!!

I've been thinking about the juice recipes, too. I envision celery and apples and kale and ginger and limes. I see cucumbers and tomatoes. I wonder if cabbage would be good juiced. I like cabbage. I wonder about cauliflower. I never hear about anyone juicing cauliflower. One guy said that broccoli juice is bitter. I wonder about beets and carrots. The Juiceman (Jay Kordich) healed himself from bladder cancer by juicing carrots and apples 50/50 for about a two-year period. At the end of that time, he was cancer free -- no radiation, no chemotherapy -- just carrot and apple juice. Pretty amazing.

I wonder if I juice fruits if I will have a gout reaction. I am not planning on drinking a lot of fruit juices. I see it as more green vegetable juices with a little fruit for flavor. I need to monitor my blood sugars if I am going to do the best for my health. I will need to check things out as I go.

Anyway. I am looking forward with a little fear and with some hope that maybe this will be the ultimate answer for me. I will be praying for God's help to actually do it. It is the doing of it, that makes it successful. You cannot quit and do it at the same time. You have to just keep doing. Please help me Lord.

Here is to "doing." Maybe I can put an end to always being a learner and become a knower of the truth about food and my body. It takes experience to know something.

God bless you,

Be back soon,

Marcia