Three Eggs Over Easy

Hi,

I felt compelled by my hunger which seemed endless. I juiced and it did not fill me. I juiced again, and was still hungry. I sat there watching a video and I wanted something "real" to eat, so I broke down and ate three eggs over easy. They smelled good; the smell was actually incredible. As I put the plate near my face, I could smell the cinnamon in the curry powder and was amazed at how wonderful it smelled. It tasted very good.

I had checked my blood sugar and it was 120 after the juice and I felt famished at the same time. When I was done I wanted to eat three more eggs... I decided not to. I thought it might be a little difficult on my body to suddenly binge eat six fried eggs.

My most horrible thought was, "How do I tell everyone." "What can I say?" "How can I let them know?" My first reaction was to think I had failed by quitting, yet again. But I decided to back up and take a look at my options to see if I could get a better perspective and handle on this.

Option 1: I could simply realize I made a decision on Day 8 rather than Day 10 -- and the decision was to have a high quality high protein meal. (The intellectual, emotionless approach.)

I was watching the video called "Fat Head" when I made the decision. They advocate a high protein, high fat, low carbohydrate diet, including fresh vegetables and a little fruit in order to lose weight successfully. No grains, no starches.

Option 2: Cry a lot and wallow in my failure for a week or two. (The emotional approach.)

I feel rather shocked that I went ahead and ate the eggs -- I don't think I am really at the cry-and-wallow stage yet, because I am still in shock. I am also thinking there may be no need. I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I broke my word. Yep, that is the thing that really bothers me the most. I'm also afraid I have made myself look foolish, yet again.

I think I shall choose for somewhere in between these two options. There are probably others that I have not thought of.

I would like to continue losing weight, and to continue juicing -- but I think I will "include" juicing, rather than doing it exclusively. I'm wondering if I could eat one good meal a day and juice for everything else -- the other two meals and snacks.

One of the things I became conscious of tonight (before eating the eggs) was that juicing had affected another change in my habits that I had not noticed before. I used to kind of graze as I watched TV or a video. Whenever I felt hungry I would go and get something to eat, sit back down and eat while I watched. With the juicing I had, without my notice, stopped doing that. I still had meals while watching TV, but I was not "snacking" all evening long. I was actually eating less, and less often. When the juice filled me up, it really filled me up and I had no desire to snack on anything.

Tonight when I got hungry, I sat and did not make another juice. I had already made two and felt I was running low on supplies. Perhaps that was the problem. Just like on Wednesday I had exercised and perhaps I really needed to juice another time -- my ignoring the urge because I did not think it was time, kind of pushed my hunger into overdrive.

So here is my opportunity: I now have the opportunity to make a change in what I am currently doing. I would like to make a successful change which means I would like to continue to lose weight and also get better blood results. I am so tired, right now, that I think I shall wait until morning to make the final decision on what I am going to do.

Good night,

Be back soon,

Marcia