Day 20

Hello,

Had a wonderful time last night at Sweet Fellowship which is a group of older single Christian women who get together twice a month to study either a book from the bible or a book that one of us has found to be inspiring that was written by either a Pastor or Bible teacher whom we trust. I was particularly blessed by two of my friends and wish to thank them for their kindness towards me. I thank God for His goodness to me and I see just how easily He can change things in my life and how good He has been to me. I am grateful for his teaching and his love.

This get together is one of the places where, in the past, I have gone overboard with carbs, but last night was different because I had eaten beans and my whole grain concoction before going. I wanted to get rid of the whole grains which I had cooked earlier. It really was not that much when you think about it, one cup uncooked with two cups of water to equal about 3 cups or more just guessing. I had about half of that left and instead of just throwing it out, I decided to eat it. Carbo addict at work, so I just finished up the bowl and had some beans but I think I ate too much and my body had a hard time digesting it all. It seemed as thought everything suddenly came to a stand still in the plumbing -- except for the fact that I had to use the rest room twice during the lesson to get rid of gas build up. That was unusual. (Sorry for the picture.)

I had eaten a large bowl of beans (probably about 2+ cups) and a small bowl of grain (about 1+ cup). That all just sat on my stomach like I had eaten a tennis shoe. Needless to say, it was the first time that I did not actually eat anything at the get together. Perhaps that was part of the evidence that the book talks about when it says beans slow down the digestion. I wish I had checked my blood sugar to know where I stood. I also had a stressful situation occur with my banking institution and I know stress will raise the blood sugar, too, so maybe I am glad I don't know the actual number. I might have had a cow, which would have raised it even farther.

This morning, in an effort to correct things, I started with 2 eggs and spinach with picante sauce. A couple of hours later I had a whole grain bread sandwich with butter, Romaine, broccoli sprouts and seasonings of garlic pepper and Italian herbs. Carb addict at work. I am now finishing off my second cup of hot chocolate made with Stevia and evaporated milk. (I read in Steven Kowalkski's book about curing high blood pressure that chocolate is good to help lower blood pressure. Like I've said before it is better than having dark chocolate candy in the house which I cannot control.) (Checked my blood sugar and it was a whopping 160!!)

Yes. Don't say it. I know. That is not the "vegetables and protein" that I said I was going back to. The breakfast was good, but the sandwich... well... as I pulled the bread out of the fridge I kept thinking about it not being what I should eat -- but ate it anyway. As soon as I added whole grains into the program, I went off kilter. I am having a hard time reigning myself in. My carb addiction has kicked in and I guess I really need to just get rid of the rest of the bread, the whole grains and the popcorn and the popcorn popper. Too bad -- I was really looking forward to all that. Any addict would look forward to having her drug of choice within easy reach meaning right in the house.


I do still believe that this kind of carb once a day should be OK, but I don't seem to be able to keep it at that. The jury is still out on the beans, too. I suppose I will have to eat a bean meal, with veggies and protein, where there are no grains to see if what Dr Rip says about that is true -- that they do not raise blood sugar and eating more is good for me. Perhaps my perception of what is "more" is off, too. I know that can happen, too. He might mean one additional cup, but on a bad day, I would mean as much as I can chew and swallow in a sitting. I guess a few boundaries would be in order.

I hate acknowledging that in public, but I know that if I don't start getting real with me, then I am not going to like the place I end up. OK. Today. From this moment on I am doing vegetables and protein. Which is to say, back on phase 1 of the 30-day program. I believe I do need some of that kind of carb once or twice in the week -- maybe beans, maybe whole grains -- I am not yet sure. It might just mean that the individual phases of the 30-day program have been built for a normal person and not one of the super obese. Yeah, yeah, I know there are people out there who are bigger than me, but going in that direction is not the goal I want to head for. And with that statement I realize that I have turned this into a weight loss program. Well, I do want to lose weight. I also want to lower my blood pressure. And I want to get my blood sugars back to normal, if that is really possible. As you can see, I am a little befuddled, but still wanting to do the right thing.

Reasoning this out, the first 10-day phase of the program was the time period where I was actually getting lower BP numbers, losing weight, and getting lower blood sugar numbers. As soon as the second 10-day phase arrived and I added beans and whole grains onto the menu, all progress in those directions ceased and I began to behave like I did before and to dilly dally with and dream about eating bread and popcorn. The eating machine is still not on, (Thank God!) but I don't want to turn it on, either. I trust the first phase, so I think I need to go back to that. I think I remember reading in Dr Rip's book that if I "fell off" then I should start back at phase one, so that would be confirmation.

I was beginning to really like phase one anyway. I felt better. I was enjoying the salads and experimenting with seasonings and such. Maybe after a long time if I lose enough weight and get the blood sugars down to normal -- I might be able to add a few whole grains back in -- but I just don't think I am ready for that, yet. And my personal doctor sure agrees with that assessment. Since I really was excited about the progress of that first stage, I am going back to that. But will continue to go over the rest of the 30-day program day by day, to help me stay focused. Maybe it is just me; other folks can do the grain thing, but I need to do what works for me.

On to day 20: Upping the exercise quotient. The goal is now to get a pedometer and aim for 10,000 steps per day. I remember using my pedometer when I was working and feeling good about doing 8,000 steps per day. I think the only way this can be done is with dedicated walking time periods and then wearing the meter as you go about your daily business, whatever that is. I can see that the benefits are excellent and I need to incorporate this immediately. So now I do have something to measure -- that keeps me on track. So onto the old Aerofit machine.

Be back soon

--Marcia