Day 25

My apologies for sending this twice -- the first time was a mistake on my part. I hit the print key short cut which, instead, published it in this software.  Here is the completed posting:

Hello,

The days are counting down quickly now.  This morning my breakfast was a huge salad with romaine, tomato, green pepper, raw broccoli, baby carrots, a couple of hard boiled eggs, a couple of slices of cut up cheese, and walnuts. I sprinkled it with a little salt, some garlic pepper and my favorite Italian herbs, then drizzled some EVOO and sat down to eat. It was almost too large so it really filled me up as I ate the whole thing.

You know, I do seem to belong to the "clean plate" club, although I do not remember my parents EVER having to coax me to eat. I recall one day when I was about 12 or 13 that my father chuckled and laughed to himself as he ate, remarking that, at least I was a good eater. It may have been the only compliment I ever received for eating, and even though I thought it was a little odd, I realized that he was looking on the bright side and I accepted it for what it was: my dad, finding something good in me. That felt real nice.

Well, I have to take back the "clean plate" statement. I have immediately remembered a time when I was a tiny kid in a high chair eating breakfast. My mother had given me a bowl of oat meal to eat and she was washing the dishes as I fed myself. I remember having eaten all I wanted. Having no desire to eat anything more, I did the logical thing, which was to stop eating. Since there was nothing else you can do in a high chair, I started to play in the rest of the oat meal that was still in front of me. What I was playing at was pretending to do what I saw my mother doing. As she swished the dishes in a circular motion, I swished my spoon in the oat meal bowl. Then my mother turned and saw what I was doing and became quite angry. My mother was not a yeller, she did not raise her voice, but she was very determined.

She came and sat down beside me and started forcing the food into my mouth and she was not as gentle or patient as she usually was. She was not cruel, just determined to get me fed. I remember being very startled and a little frightened, and recall having my face gently scraped with the spoon as she shoved the food that was splooshing out, back into my mouth. She did not miss a drop as she vigilantly made me eat, and my face was feeling sore from the metal spoon scraping so often on my chin and cheeks. I remember very clearly thinking that if I wanted to avoid this in the future, and keep Mommy happy, I needed to eat all the food no matter what. I thought she was acting the way she was acting, because I had been a bad girl. So I promised myself that I would be a good girl and clean my plate every time to avoid future similar episodes. Of course I did not have those words -- but I had the clear intention.

As I look back on that time period, I believe she was pregnant with another child and her patience was simply running thin. She was probably tired and hurting and wanted to finish up the dishes and move on to another task but my playing in my food had hindered her. I now realize that I was not the cause of her acting that way. I understand and hold no grudge, that must have been hard on her. That was, I think, the beginning of my over eating.

I was the only child among six that was chubby and then later fat. All of my brothers and my sister were slender as children, some even to the point of being skinny, but not me. And I was the brunt of cruel jokes and tom foolery from my older brothers because of it. Even sometimes from my younger brother. I don't recall my sister ever saying anything about me being fat, but she was the one whose position had been usurped by my being born, so she actually hated me for another reason and often seemed disgusted with me. (We've talked about it as adults and she shared that was how she felt back then -- we are good friends now, though.) I must now acknowledge that I was not responsible for how they acted. Sadly I really was not the center of the universe. Ha, that one sounds odd, but that certainly is the child's point of view. Gladly, I no longer have to bear the burden of their behavior, good or bad.

So that was the beginning. Now, I ask myself, how do I put an end to that decision I made so long ago?  I know that I have recalled this story before. I also know that simply trying to just leave a bit or bite or two in the bowl is very difficult for me. It may have started as a solution and a reason to be obedient and avoid a problem for me, but I need to find the way out of this one. When the last few bites are on the plate, no matter if I am full or not, I feel a compulsion and also a desire to finish every bite. "Let nothing go uneaten!" seems to be my motto. As I eat I sometimes feel the "full" signal but continue until the plate is clean. I am compelled. Well, now that I know where that compulsion has come from, I will pray and ask God to show me the way out of this, because I have not found the way out on my own, before.

I prayed and as I prayed the Lord showed me that I was a very little child when I made that first decision and I have lived my life out of that decision. I was closer even to being a baby, than a child, at the time. But I am no longer a little child and can make a new decision based on my adult perspective. I am, in fact, an old woman now, and no longer need to be bound by that promise. Odd that I would call it a "promise." I must have made a promise to myself. I think I promised that I would never do that again. Lord, help me. I now pronounce that promise fully filled. I kept that promise and I did not break it. It is now complete and ended. I have succeeded. I have finished a winner. Now it is time to move on to the next game. Thank you, Lord.

Here is the new game and the new promise: The new game is to pay attention to my body's needs in a new way. If I am hungry, I eat. If I am full, I abide by my body's signals. My body is the judge now. I do not have to eat beyond what my body says to me is enough. And I have the ability to stop when stopping is the right thing to do. I do not have to obey the bowl, I now obey the signals that God incorporated into my living being. When I am full, I am full and do not want or need another bite because I am satisfied. The promise is that, if I quit when my body lets me know I am full, I will be happier. I will be completely satisfied. I won't need to worry that I put too much on my plate. The plate is not important. I am. I promise to follow the Lord's promptings in my own body and mind.

I shall lend my strength to keeping me healthy. It is not healthy to eat beyond capacity. It is not healthy to finish every bite, if I am no longer hungry. It is healthy to eat enough good nourishing food and it is not healthy to eat more than enough. Enough is enough, and that is where I put the fork down, and cover the plate with my napkin. It is not a sin to throw food away, or to store it for a later snack, or even a meal. It is not wasteful to throw away a few bites of uneaten food -- what good are they? I cannot send them to the starving poor in other countries (it was China when I was growing up) they would be inedible by the time they got there. No one else would eat them, why should I? If I throw them away, they can then become compost to feed other healthy and life giving plants. They will feed the worms and the little insects that keep the soil fresh and fertile. Throwing away uneaten food is a good thing. It continues the cycle of regeneration that God created. Praise the Lord! "Let it go uneaten and return to the Earth!" shall be my new motto!

Lunch was a bowl of beans and chicken. Very filling. Thank God!

Well.  I had no idea that is where we were going today. But, I am glad we did.

On to day 25: Eliminating Toxins. Dr Ripich states that there are so many, and from so many sources that we will not be able to eliminate them entirely. But there are some things we can do to either greatly reduce them from coming into our bodies or move them through our bodies better with less damage.

Read the book. Really. He gives a lot of specific information about where the toxins are hidden, how they work, and how to combat as many as we can on a personal level. Some of them, I have already incorporated in my life. I have been drinking filtered water for years. I got rid of the plastic cooking containers and never did use Teflon very much. I could see that it flaked off into the food and decided that was not for me, a long time ago. But there is more that cooking in Teflon does. For example at certain temperatures it actually releases different gases into the kitchen and people breath them in. Have asthma? Get rid of the teflon, and replace it with cast iron or stainless steel cooking pots. Don't use those plastic cooking spoons either -- you won't need them without the teflon, anyway. The wooden and metal spatulas and spoons that grandma used to use are much safer for your body and the environment of your house.


He also recommends some herbs that can be used to help the liver clear out the toxins in our body (which is its job) -- turmeric for example, which I had begun to use a few months ago. He lists others that you will want to read about and try for yourself.

Here is the quotation from the front of the chapter (and wow, does it make sense): "Food, one assumes, provides nourishment: but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction." -- John Cage.

Thank God that going on this program is already a way to "detox" the body and Dr Ripich also says that diabetics do not need to do any of the popular "detox" products or programs because they upset the metabolism. Since diabetes is a metabolism disorder, we don't need to push it farther off kilter.

All in all: The fewer poisons we eat, wash with, and breathe in, the fewer problems we have, or create for our neighbors, too. Get the full story starting on page 315.

Be back soon

--Marcia