Day 34

Hello,

I have been thinking about and considering what I did last night. I was like a drunk who had fallen off the wagon and found their way into a saloon at happy hour. In the past that would have been the end of the diet, and I would have just given up, beat up on me for a long time and felt inferior and inadequate for the rest of my life. But I am not going to do that, think that way, or let my fall on this one occasion hold me back from moving on and improving my life. I asked the ladies to pray for me that I might be delivered from obesity.

I thought about how many calories I must have eaten and thought about the journal or record of the calories that I am using to get a clearer picture of my eating habits and figured I should not just blow this off, so I sat down with my pen and paper and calorie counting book and tried to remember all that I ate and write down how many calories I actually consumed. Working off of memory and making estimates for things that I could not find in the book, I estimated that I must have eaten about 970 calories over the 1800 I am supposed to eat. That was half again more than I should have consumed in one day if I desire to lose weight. In some ways, I was glad that it was not worse. And it was kind of a relief to see that if I had imagined my calorie intake I would have guessed it was much higher than what it really was. Granted it was not good, but at least now I have a more accurate picture, and there is something to be said for that, at least. And now I can let go of it and move on.

Today I am continuing to read about how to do the strength training and have gotten down the book for my weight machine which has been sitting in the spare bedroom gathering dust. I kind of diddled with it when I first got it, but did not have any clear direction and soon just let it sit. I have direction now from the book called "The Fat Burning Furnace" written by Rob Poulos (http://www.fatburningfurnace.com/). I waded through the video presentation and decided that it was, at the very least, a way to get a program going. I have found the book to be much better than the advertising presentation would have me believe. After reading Rob's history and the information he provides, I now have a concept for weight training that I had not been introduced to before and that I think will work for me. So the next phase is getting used to practicing the form and using the equipment I already have and I think that soon, I will be on my way. The main thing I like about his method is that you work very hard for 15 minutes, two or three days per week, and rest and recuperate in between. He also says you don't need to do aerobics to lose weight and is very convincing that it is not necessary. I think I may still do my 15 minutes, simply because I am beginning to like it and have been a little proud of getting myself up to that point. I don't think it will hurt anything.

Anyway... that is where I am today. Tomorrow is Sunday so I am looking forward to going to church in my new dress.

Be back soon,

--Marcia